Well, it isn’t. Secondary infertility is found in about 20% of women and is most common among women who have waited with pregnancy till their 30’s or 40’s, when fertility declines. Secondary infertility is the inability to conceive after successfully and naturally conceiving one or more children. Causes for secondary infertility may be similar to those of primary infertility (childless couple who are unable to conceive).

There are a variety of reasons why secondary infertility may occur.  Since your last pregnancy, you or your partner may have had an infection, gained some weight, or started eating fewer healthy foods. These minor changes in your lifestyle can have grave repercussions on your reproductive health. Also your egg quality may have begun to decrease (natural process as you get older) or your partner’s sperm may not be what it once was during his youthful years. Abnormalities with sperm and ejaculation are frequently cited as causes of secondary infertility.

Luckily, there is a lot you can do to increase your chances to conceive for the second, third (or more) time. First, you should start taking prenatal vitamins. Folic acid and iron have been proven to improve fertility. Knowing when you are ovulating is crucial. If your cycle is regular, (28-30 days) have sex on days 10-14 (start the count on the first day of your period). Using an ovulation kit can be beneficial to zero in on the exact days you are ovulating.

Age is a factor when getting pregnant. If you’re 35 or older and have been trying to conceive for more than six months, speak to your OBGYN, who will most likely run some tests to see what the root of the problem is. Avoid Antihistamines and vitamin C supplements. They dry out the cervical fluid that helps sperm find its way to your egg.  Lubricants can block sperm’s path and should also be avoided. Stress, though hard to control, should be minimized and some ways to overcome stress is to do something fun, laugh, take a relaxing hot bath, pamper yourself to a massage or go on a getaway weekend with your partner. Whatever calms you down, do it!

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Ironically, stress can keep you from getting pregnant. But how can you not be stressed when all you can think about is pregnancy and the fact that you are still not pregnant? What a paradox! What can you do? Rather than forcing yourself to relax, try watching a comedy show, a funny movie or a silly sitcom that makes you laugh every day.  As they saying goes, laughter can be the best medicine.

Getting pregnant is not just a woman’s problem. Male fertility factors contribute to approximately 40% of all infertility cases. For men, many medications to control a chronic condition can have a harmful effect on fertility. Have your partner check the facts and side effects of medications he is using and if they decrease his fertility, he may want to consider temporarily stopping those meds or find different alternatives that do not cause infertility.  Before making those decisions, you should consult your physician.

Using the wrong lubrication when you are having intercourse can spoil your chances of getting pregnant. Most store-bought lubricants, Vaseline and KY jell damage the quality of sperm. If you are using any of the above lubricants, you may be reducing your chances to conceive by about 50%. Instead, you can use egg white or Pre-Seed as lubricants, or increase your natural lubrication with foreplay.

Vitamin C can be used to increase or decrease your fertility depending on the dosage. With small intakes of vitamin C, you can actually increase the amount of cervical fluid, which is important for transporting the sperm to your cervix and on to your uterus, where it will eventually meet up with your egg. Too much Vitamin C can dry up the cervical fluid. A proper dose is around 500mg-1000mg a day.

Good luck!

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After any delivery, vaginal or cesarean there is vaginal bleeding from the uterus, which is healing and cleaning itself out from the pregnancy. At your postpartum visit your doctor will check your incisions to see how those are healing, and see if the bleeding has stopped. This is usually when you will get the green light to resume intercourse.

While most of the post partum issues resolve within 6 weeks or so, you may be dealing with still tender incision area. In that case try positions that will not introduce any direct contact with the incision area.

Another thing to take into account is that most new moms, and especially breastfeeding moms (usually for as long as they breastfeed), will experience excessive dryness and may need the help of lubrication gels or creams.

When you do decide to get back in the game, give yourself a break and ask your partner to do the same by taking things slowly. Things may not feel the same at the beginning, and muscles will be or feel stiffer than normal, or more tender. Start slow, and listen to your body. Talk to your partner and share your feeling / pain / etc. Things will return to normal eventually, but forcing things will not speed up your body’s healing process.

We are taught to never have unprotected sex, in order to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Although, it is a good way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy as well as sexually transmitted diseases, it leads to misconceptions of the actual chances of conception. Here are some facts you may want to take into consideration while planning to conceive. Don’t be discouraged, but have patience.

After getting off birth control pills it can (but doesn’t have to) take a little while before you become pregnant. Some healthcare providers say that your body needs to ‘clean itself out off the hormones’, while others say there is no truth to this statement. Regardless of which of the two you choose to believe, be aware that you may not conceive the month following termination of your birth control pills. This is not an indication for a problem. Take your time and continue trying.

Stress is a major factor in delayed conception. When trying to get pregnant, try to avoid stress in your life. If you exercise, continue to do so, or find another way to relax. Stressing over the coveted pregnancy that does not happen can delay it as well. Plan a romantic getaway for two and try to ‘let it happen’ rather than force it on.

To get pregnant faster, you certainly need to have frequent sex, preferably before you ovulate (after which it is too late for this month. But no worries, there is always next month). Sperm can live for three to five days in your body, which means you can have sex even several days before you ovulate and still conceive.

To increase your chances of conception, start having sex every day (or every other day) on the 10^th day of your cycle (start counting on the first day of your period). Try to keep stress levels in your life low, especially does related to whether or not you become pregnant, but also at work, home, etc. Eat healthy and exercise and do not get discouraged if it takes longer than desired. Most couples will achieve a pregnancy within the first 12-18 months. After 12 months, you can speak to your ob/gyn about other options for you and your partner.

Best of luck! And stay positive. Attitude does make a difference!

If you worry about pain during intercourse, you are not alone. Your vagina may be dry (especially if you are breastfeeding) and tender, which can be resolved with the use of lubricants. Start slowly and share your feelings with your partner. Different positions may work better, so try different ones if in pain till you find the right fit. If intercourse is still painful, consult your OB/GYN for other possibilities.

It is normal for your sexual desire to decline after childbirth. Fear of painful intercourse, fatigue from care for a newborn and hormone levels changing, even baby blues, can result in decreased desire to have sex. Share these feelings and concerns with your partner and find other ways maintain intimacy till you are ready to resume sex.

When you are ready to resume sexual activity, make sure you wait to have intercourse after your postpartum checkup. Realize that child birth does affect your sex life. Think for a moment of the delivery process. Remember that? It caused some trauma to your body, and it takes time for it to get back to its normal state. Thing will not be exactly as they were, but close to it. Decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex. Kegel exercises will help restore the pelvic floor muscles.

Whatever issues you may experience in your sex life after giving birth, give yourself time. Things will get better when your body will heal and you will be adjusted to motherhood and your new schedule and lifestyle.

Ovulation can occur anywhere between day 10 to day 21 of the cycle. Since there is no accurate way to predict the day of ovulation, it is suggested to have sex every day starting day 10 of your cycle when you are trying to conceive. Some experts say that semen can live in your body up to 3-5 days from ejaculation, so even if you miss the actual day of ovulation, you may still have a chance to conceive.

There are tools to help you determine when you are ovulating. Tracking the date of ovulation can be helpful in allowing you and your partner to plan ahead when trying to conceive. One of the tools available in the market today is the basal thermometer, which checks your temperature upon awakening in the morning to help you predict ovulation. Another tool to tracking ovulation is the ovulation kits and fertility monitors, which checks luteinizing hormone levels in the urine to help predict ovulation.

Remember that the key to conception is intercourse. If you only have sex once a month, your chances to hit the right day and time are slimmer than if you are actively trying more frequently. So before you run to the store to buy a handful of product to track your ovulation, maybe you want to make sure you are really giving it a good try on your own.

Good luck!