Achieving the goal of parenthood together can certainly bring a couple closer. However, at the same time the difficulties and challenges you face as a new parents can bring about conflict about parenting methods and approaches. Believe it or not, but bringing home a baby can ignite feelings of jealousy, or the loss of ‘first place’ in the eyes of your partner. Fatigue and lack of time to devote to each other can also cause frustration. Sooner or later you may realize that parenthood, as amazing as it may be, is affecting your relationship with your partner in ways you did not anticipate.

What can you do? After all, you are exhausted, your baby is completely dependant on you, and you cannot find a minute to devote to anything else. For starters, you can acknowledge the problem. Talk to your partner about both your feelings and see what your expectations from each other are.

Making time for each other is crucial. If you have relatives or friends who are willing or offering to help / babysit take them up on it! A night out, even an hour or two, would do wanders to your perspective and your relationship.

Divide up your responsibilities so that when baby is asleep, you can take the time to cuddle in front of the TV or have a candle light dinner, rather than running around trying to finish up all your chores.

Lower your standards. Although hard to do for some, you will notice that prioritizing and adjusting your standards for what is considered clean, tidy, etc. can free up some of your time and allow you the time you are missing with your spouse, as well as time to relax and recharge.

With time, your baby will become more independent and you will have more time and opportunity to nurture your relationship with your partner. In the mean time, make a few adjustments to make time for your marital relationship. It is important for you and your child that your relationship with your spouse is a strong and happy one.

Ironically, stress can keep you from getting pregnant. But how can you not be stressed when all you can think about is pregnancy and the fact that you are still not pregnant? What a paradox! What can you do? Rather than forcing yourself to relax, try watching a comedy show, a funny movie or a silly sitcom that makes you laugh every day.  As they saying goes, laughter can be the best medicine.

Getting pregnant is not just a woman’s problem. Male fertility factors contribute to approximately 40% of all infertility cases. For men, many medications to control a chronic condition can have a harmful effect on fertility. Have your partner check the facts and side effects of medications he is using and if they decrease his fertility, he may want to consider temporarily stopping those meds or find different alternatives that do not cause infertility.  Before making those decisions, you should consult your physician.

Using the wrong lubrication when you are having intercourse can spoil your chances of getting pregnant. Most store-bought lubricants, Vaseline and KY jell damage the quality of sperm. If you are using any of the above lubricants, you may be reducing your chances to conceive by about 50%. Instead, you can use egg white or Pre-Seed as lubricants, or increase your natural lubrication with foreplay.

Vitamin C can be used to increase or decrease your fertility depending on the dosage. With small intakes of vitamin C, you can actually increase the amount of cervical fluid, which is important for transporting the sperm to your cervix and on to your uterus, where it will eventually meet up with your egg. Too much Vitamin C can dry up the cervical fluid. A proper dose is around 500mg-1000mg a day.

Good luck!

You may also like:

• Am I Pregnant?
• How to Get Pregnant Faster
• Infertility

If you worry about pain during intercourse, you are not alone. Your vagina may be dry (especially if you are breastfeeding) and tender, which can be resolved with the use of lubricants. Start slowly and share your feelings with your partner. Different positions may work better, so try different ones if in pain till you find the right fit. If intercourse is still painful, consult your OB/GYN for other possibilities.

It is normal for your sexual desire to decline after childbirth. Fear of painful intercourse, fatigue from care for a newborn and hormone levels changing, even baby blues, can result in decreased desire to have sex. Share these feelings and concerns with your partner and find other ways maintain intimacy till you are ready to resume sex.

When you are ready to resume sexual activity, make sure you wait to have intercourse after your postpartum checkup. Realize that child birth does affect your sex life. Think for a moment of the delivery process. Remember that? It caused some trauma to your body, and it takes time for it to get back to its normal state. Thing will not be exactly as they were, but close to it. Decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex. Kegel exercises will help restore the pelvic floor muscles.

Whatever issues you may experience in your sex life after giving birth, give yourself time. Things will get better when your body will heal and you will be adjusted to motherhood and your new schedule and lifestyle.

Chronologically, your partner was there first. He was in the center of your attention, your other half, the one you chose to live your life with. Together you created a family. You conceived, the two of you were excited throughout the pregnancy and waited to meet your baby, who will expand your description from a couple to a family.

Then your baby was born – small, new to the world and helpless without you. The three of you became a family, and at the same time, you lost your life as a couple. Or did you? Many couples experience a dramatic change in their relationship after their first baby is born. For most, the changes result in nothing more than period of adjustment; others may experience permanent and dramatic changes.

It is common to experience changes in the dynamics of your family when a baby is added to the picture. With all the excitement of bringing home a new baby, adjusting to the baby’s schedule, which is now your new schedule, lack of sleep and hormones, etc. – it can be overwhelming and your relationship and intimacy with your partner will suffer, or at least take the back seat for a while.

The good news is that this can be temporary. It is all up to the two of you. So who comes first for you? Your baby or your partner?

The answer is very personal. Different people have different priorities and needs. Your baby is helpless in its first year of life, and therefore will actually NEED more of your attention, care and love. Your husband/partner, while he can (potentially) take care of himself, still needs your love and affection even after your baby is born as well. Try and find the balance that works for you and your family. Feelings of neglect are not something you want in your newly expended household.

After having a baby, a loving relationship between a couple is interrupted by lack of sleep, having to deal with the new challenges of caring for a newborn, major hormonal shifts (no, those are not over once you give birth, not just yet) and adjusting to your new lifestyle. It may be unexpected, but it is not surprising that your relationship with your partner will change.

In the first few months after having your baby, it is normal for couples to go through a period of readjustment – to say the least. Even if you both equally wanted to become parents, you may find that your expectations are different of both each other and your new lifestyle as a family. The intimacy you had just a little while ago is interrupted to such a degree, that it may seem like the relationship have changed dramatically or maybe you have drifted apart completely.

These feelings are common between couples who just had their first born, and may be accompanied with more frequent conflicts, and both of you feeling frustrated, misunderstood and neglected.  It takes time to adjust to your growing nuclear cell, and reconnecting takes time and effort. But you should keep in mind that it is temporary, and you can and should help each other get over this hump. It will make your relationship stronger at the end.