Six to eight weeks after you give birth, you will be ready to have sex again. It may take more or less time, depending on your delivery experience, your healing process, bleeding (usually lasts 4-6 weeks after delivery), fatigue from adjusting to your baby’s schedule and the new lifestyle as a Mom.

If you worry about pain during intercourse, you are not alone. Your vagina may be dry (especially if you are breastfeeding) and tender, which can be resolved with the use of lubricants. Start slowly and share your feelings with your partner. Different positions may work better, so try different ones if in pain till you find the right fit. If intercourse is still painful, consult your OB/GYN for other possibilities.

It is normal for your sexual desire to decline after childbirth. Fear of painful intercourse, fatigue from care for a newborn and hormone levels changing, even baby blues, can result in decreased desire to have sex. Share these feelings and concerns with your partner and find other ways maintain intimacy till you are ready to resume sex.

When you are ready to resume sexual activity, make sure you wait to have intercourse after your postpartum checkup. Realize that child birth does affect your sex life. Think for a moment of the delivery process. Remember that? It caused some trauma to your body, and it takes time for it to get back to its normal state. Thing will not be exactly as they were, but close to it. Decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex. Kegel exercises will help restore the pelvic floor muscles.

Whatever issues you may experience in your sex life after giving birth, give yourself time. Things will get better when your body will heal and you will be adjusted to motherhood and your new schedule and lifestyle.

In the beginning, there were two…

Chronologically, your partner was there first. He was in the center of your attention, your other half, the one you chose to live your life with. Together you created a family. You conceived, the two of you were excited throughout the pregnancy and waited to meet your baby, who will expand your description from a couple to a family.

Then your baby was born – small, new to the world and helpless without you. The three of you became a family, and at the same time, you lost your life as a couple. Or did you? Many couples experience a dramatic change in their relationship after their first baby is born. For most, the changes result in nothing more than period of adjustment; others may experience permanent and dramatic changes.

It is common to experience changes in the dynamics of your family when a baby is added to the picture. With all the excitement of bringing home a new baby, adjusting to the baby’s schedule, which is now your new schedule, lack of sleep and hormones, etc. – it can be overwhelming and your relationship and intimacy with your partner will suffer, or at least take the back seat for a while.

The good news is that this can be temporary. It is all up to the two of you. So who comes first for you? Your baby or your partner?

The answer is very personal. Different people have different priorities and needs. Your baby is helpless in its first year of life, and therefore will actually NEED more of your attention, care and love. Your husband/partner, while he can (potentially) take care of himself, still needs your love and affection even after your baby is born as well. Try and find the balance that works for you and your family. Feelings of neglect are not something you want in your newly expended household.

Something we do not often think about when we are expecting is how the new addition to the family will affect our relationships. There are new dynamics between a mother and father once a baby is added to the picture – how can there not be? Your life as a childless couple alone has ended, and you become a nuclear family of three (at minimum). That in itself is a big change. Not to mention the fact that the new addition is a small baby that needs your care and love 24/7.

After having a baby, a loving relationship between a couple is interrupted by lack of sleep, having to deal with the new challenges of caring for a newborn, major hormonal shifts (no, those are not over once you give birth, not just yet) and adjusting to your new lifestyle. It may be unexpected, but it is not surprising that your relationship with your partner will change.

In the first few months after having your baby, it is normal for couples to go through a period of readjustment – to say the least. Even if you both equally wanted to become parents, you may find that your expectations are different of both each other and your new lifestyle as a family. The intimacy you had just a little while ago is interrupted to such a degree, that it may seem like the relationship have changed dramatically or maybe you have drifted apart completely.

These feelings are common between couples who just had their first born, and may be accompanied with more frequent conflicts, and both of you feeling frustrated, misunderstood and neglected.  It takes time to adjust to your growing nuclear cell, and reconnecting takes time and effort. But you should keep in mind that it is temporary, and you can and should help each other get over this hump. It will make your relationship stronger at the end.