Deciding how and when to share the news of your pregnancy is a big deal. Once you discover you are pregnant, you will find it hard to keep the news to yourself even if you decided not to announce it yet. This is an exciting time in your life as your pregnancy becomes your top priority.

“Why wait…when to tell, how to tell and who to tell first”, are all things you and your partner want to decide about together. There are different reasons to share or keep the news private in the beginning. Some people just want to take a minute and enjoy this exciting time with each other, or digest the big change ahead before announcing the news to the world (family, friends, employers, etc.). Some couples choose to keep the pregnancy private until the end of the first trimester for fear of miscarriage, and avoid the hassle of re-informing those of the sad news. Some wait for signs of pregnancy such as a growing belly.

Others may rush to tell right away to enjoy family and friends’ support dealing with this thrilling, yet overwhelming news. Sharing the news early can also lead to getting advice throughout the pregnancy right from the start, as well as help choosing between an OBGYN and a midwife, finding a good book about pregnancy and other resources such as possible methods of childbirth, and more.

Sharing with your employer is another thing to consider, depending on your job description. If you work with hazardous materials you may need to share the news with your employer right away so you can be stationed appropriately. Also if you are a flight attendant, you may need to share your news early, so you can be assigned a land post.

Regardless of when you choose to share the news, make sure you are content with your decision, and change it if need be. Remember once your news is made public, you cannot reverse it and it may spread faster than you anticipated.

When you decide to announce you are pregnant, or once you are showing, you will find that people around you may start giving you ‘advice’ as to what to do or not do while pregnant. So what should you really avoid while pregnant?

A warm bath is great for relaxation—pregnant or not. The danger is when the water temperature is too hot. In the first trimester, very hot water can cause developmental problems in the fetus and later in pregnancy it can cause preterm labor. When pregnant you should avoid anything that raises your body temperature above 102 or 103 degrees.

There is no need to quit caffeine altogether. One cup of coffee or tea a day will not do any harm to you or your baby if you are enjoying a normal pregnancy. Speak to your healthcare provider if you have any questions or concerns.

Drinking alcohol should be avoided while pregnant, especially during the first trimester when so much of the baby’s nervous system is being formed.

You don’t have to sleep on your left side, the right side is just as good, but you will most likely find that sleeping on your side, left or right, is the only comfortable position after around the 20^th week of your pregnancy. Sleeping on your belly will be technically impossible, and sleeping on your back can cause dizziness or make you sweaty from too much pressure put on the vena cava.

Most research does show that it is safe to dye your hair while pregnant, as the chemicals in permanent and semi-permanent hair dyes are not highly toxic. If you are concerned, dye your hair only after the 12th week of pregnancy, when the risk of chemical substances – hair dye or otherwise – harming the baby is much lower. If you color your hair yourself make sure to wear gloves and leave the dye on for the minimum time. Also work in a well-ventilated room.

In general, if you are concern that something may be harmful for you or your baby during your pregnancy, speak to your OBGYN to get answers. Don’t let people scare you out of your personal lifestyle and activities.

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So you and your partner-in-crime decided it is time to expand the family. Congratulations! While you think and act on that notion, there are a few things you want to take care of simultaneously to prepare your body for a healthy pregnancy.

• Control your weight. Get as close to your ideal weight as possible. Obesity and/or underweight can affect your baby’s health as well as your chances to conceive.
• This is the time to quit smoking. Avoiding secondhand smoke is important as well, and this is not the time to take chances. Smoking can cause birth defects, premature birth and low birth weight. It also increases risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and asthma.
• Stop drinking alcohol. Fetal alcohol syndrome can cause serious birth defects and learning disabilities.
• Quit recreational drugs. They all have an adverse effect on your baby – some can cause permanent brain damage and/or severe birth defects.
• Talk to your healthcare provider about prescription medications you are taking. Some drugs for heart disorders, blood thinners and some medications for depression, anxiety and other emotional disorders are not to be taken while pregnant.
• Start taking prenatal vitamins, including folic acid, calcium and other nutrients. They are important to a healthy pregnancy and baby, and are recommended three months before conception.
• Talk to your OBGYN about genetic testing you may need to consider depending on ethnicity and family health history.
• Find out your HIV status. HIV-positive women can spare their babies from contracting the disease if they are aware of their HIV status before delivery.

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“I have a child, therefore I know I am fertile and should have no problems getting pregnant again.” Isn’t that right?

Well, it isn’t. Secondary infertility is found in about 20% of women and is most common among women who have waited with pregnancy till their 30’s or 40’s, when fertility declines. Secondary infertility is the inability to conceive after successfully and naturally conceiving one or more children. Causes for secondary infertility may be similar to those of primary infertility (childless couple who are unable to conceive).

There are a variety of reasons why secondary infertility may occur.  Since your last pregnancy, you or your partner may have had an infection, gained some weight, or started eating fewer healthy foods. These minor changes in your lifestyle can have grave repercussions on your reproductive health. Also your egg quality may have begun to decrease (natural process as you get older) or your partner’s sperm may not be what it once was during his youthful years. Abnormalities with sperm and ejaculation are frequently cited as causes of secondary infertility.

Luckily, there is a lot you can do to increase your chances to conceive for the second, third (or more) time. First, you should start taking prenatal vitamins. Folic acid and iron have been proven to improve fertility. Knowing when you are ovulating is crucial. If your cycle is regular, (28-30 days) have sex on days 10-14 (start the count on the first day of your period). Using an ovulation kit can be beneficial to zero in on the exact days you are ovulating.

Age is a factor when getting pregnant. If you’re 35 or older and have been trying to conceive for more than six months, speak to your OBGYN, who will most likely run some tests to see what the root of the problem is. Avoid Antihistamines and vitamin C supplements. They dry out the cervical fluid that helps sperm find its way to your egg.  Lubricants can block sperm’s path and should also be avoided. Stress, though hard to control, should be minimized and some ways to overcome stress is to do something fun, laugh, take a relaxing hot bath, pamper yourself to a massage or go on a getaway weekend with your partner. Whatever calms you down, do it!

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A women’s intuition is a powerful thing, but we don’t all KNOW when we are pregnant right away. Some of us may consider the possibility when we start to see a few of the “I’m pregnant” signs while others may overlook them all completely. Here are the top ten signs you may be pregnant and how you should interpret each one:

1. A positive home pregnancy test usually detects a pregnancy only a week after your missed period (regardless of what is advertised on the box). After getting a positive result, contact your OBGYN to schedule a blood test.
2. Continuously high basal temperature past the time when your period is due is another possible indicator of pregnancy.
3. A missed period can be considered a sign of pregnancy if your cycle is regular (usually 28-30 days). This is typically the first indication you should take a pregnancy test. At the same time, you should know that there are other reasons for a late period. Stress is a big factor, and if you are trying to conceive or under a lot of stress for other reasons, you may experience a late period. It may also be: Excessive weight gain/loss, fatigue, hormonal imbalance, tension, stopping birth control, or breast-feeding.
4. Frequent urination may start six weeks into your first trimester, and is caused by increased amount of blood and fluids during pregnancy. This extra fluid being processed by your kidneys and ending up in your bladder will send you running to the bathroom repeatedly. It may also be: Urinary tract infection, diabetes, increasing liquid intake, or a result of taking excessive diuretics.
5. Abdominal bloating is caused by hormonal changes, similar to the feeling some women have just before their period arrives.
6. Increased sensitivity to odors is common during the first trimester.
7. Nausea or vomiting is a very common symptom of pregnancy. It may start as early as a few days after conception, but is most common between 2-8 weeks. It may also be: Food poisoning, stress, or other stomach disorders that causes you to feel queasy.
8. Implantation bleeding can occur around 11-12 days after conception. This small amount of vaginal bleeding may be caused by the fertilized egg burrowing into the blood-rich lining of your uterus, and lasts only a day or two.
9. Fatigue can be experienced as early as a week after conception. This feeling of extreme exhaustion is cause by high levels of progesterone, a hormone that is present during pregnancy. It may also be: Stress, exhaustion, depression, common cold or flu, or other illnesses can also leave you feeling drained.
10. Tender, swollen breasts, is yet another sign of early pregnancy. This symptom usually disappears by the end of the first trimester. It may also be: Hormonal imbalance, birth control pills, impending menstruation (PMS) can also cause your breasts to swell and become more sensitive.

While these “signs” have helped many women over the years recognize pregnancy, you should always check with your OBGYN, whether you intend on being pregnant or not.  Each woman experiences different symptoms upon conception and the best way to be prepared for pregnancy is to read about it and talk with your doctor.

When trying to conceive, we usually assume all we need to do is, well, have sex. Isn’t that so? Well, it turns out that there are some things we should NOT be doing, for they may decrease or even diminish the changes of becoming pregnant.

Ironically, stress can keep you from getting pregnant. But how can you not be stressed when all you can think about is pregnancy and the fact that you are still not pregnant? What a paradox! What can you do? Rather than forcing yourself to relax, try watching a comedy show, a funny movie or a silly sitcom that makes you laugh every day.  As they saying goes, laughter can be the best medicine.

Getting pregnant is not just a woman’s problem. Male fertility factors contribute to approximately 40% of all infertility cases. For men, many medications to control a chronic condition can have a harmful effect on fertility. Have your partner check the facts and side effects of medications he is using and if they decrease his fertility, he may want to consider temporarily stopping those meds or find different alternatives that do not cause infertility.  Before making those decisions, you should consult your physician.

Using the wrong lubrication when you are having intercourse can spoil your chances of getting pregnant. Most store-bought lubricants, Vaseline and KY jell damage the quality of sperm. If you are using any of the above lubricants, you may be reducing your chances to conceive by about 50%. Instead, you can use egg white or Pre-Seed as lubricants, or increase your natural lubrication with foreplay.

Vitamin C can be used to increase or decrease your fertility depending on the dosage. With small intakes of vitamin C, you can actually increase the amount of cervical fluid, which is important for transporting the sperm to your cervix and on to your uterus, where it will eventually meet up with your egg. Too much Vitamin C can dry up the cervical fluid. A proper dose is around 500mg-1000mg a day.

Good luck!

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• Infertility

Science already has the technology to test for the sex of an embryo as early as eight cell developments (roughly around day 3, also known as the cleavage stage). This test can be done through a procedure called In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), in which egg cells are fertilized by sperm outside the womb.

Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) was originally developed for reasons unrelated to embryo sex selection. The initial cause for developing various types of embryo tests was to detect genetic diseases that a baby could inherit from its birth parents before pregnancy.  Couples or individuals who test positive for serious genetic disorders such as cystic fibrosis or other genetic diseases can investigate whether their child will share the same condition through these embryonic tests and determine if pregnancy is the right decision for them.

While the opportunity of sex selection is a result of PGD, it is rarely used for this purpose. It is also a very costly treatment (a single round of PGD can cost nearly $20,000). The procedure is invasive and can be painful; and unless needed for reasons other than infertility or known genetic defects, it can be an expensive investment.

If you’re determined to choose the sex of your unborn baby, you’ll have to meet strict eligibility requirements. Some clinics that perform the procedure only accept married couples that already have at least one child of the sex opposite to the one they’re trying for.  Other clinics have age limits or require you to take hormone tests to prove you’re not approaching menopause.

And of course there is a moral debate surrounding the idea of embryonic testing.  Some say that PGD helps parents make educated decisions about pregnancy and assist with planning for their future.  Others argue that it should be left to nature to navigate the proper balance in the world.  After all, we are only human…

Some may assume that there is no waiting period needed before resuming sexual activity after a cesarean section because there was no vaginal delivery. Although that may seem logical, it is not the case. The usual waiting period before resuming sex is six weeks after the birth (vaginal or cesarean), or after your postpartum doctor/midwife visit and they have given you the ok.

After any delivery, vaginal or cesarean there is vaginal bleeding from the uterus, which is healing and cleaning itself out from the pregnancy. At your postpartum visit your doctor will check your incisions to see how those are healing, and see if the bleeding has stopped. This is usually when you will get the green light to resume intercourse.

While most of the post partum issues resolve within 6 weeks or so, you may be dealing with still tender incision area. In that case try positions that will not introduce any direct contact with the incision area.

Another thing to take into account is that most new moms, and especially breastfeeding moms (usually for as long as they breastfeed), will experience excessive dryness and may need the help of lubrication gels or creams.

When you do decide to get back in the game, give yourself a break and ask your partner to do the same by taking things slowly. Things may not feel the same at the beginning, and muscles will be or feel stiffer than normal, or more tender. Start slow, and listen to your body. Talk to your partner and share your feeling / pain / etc. Things will return to normal eventually, but forcing things will not speed up your body’s healing process.

Announcing you are pregnant can be a joyful moment, but at the workplace it may need to be planned out or at the very least thought of rather than being blurted out on a whim. Save the excitement and celebratory feelings to when you tell your family and friends, and take a moment to think about your work place and employer and figure out when would be best to share this type of news.

How far along into the pregnancy should you be when you tell your employer is entirely up to you, unless the type of work you do involves potential hazards materials or a medical condition is involved.  Otherwise, your pregnancy is legally irrelevant to your work. If you can do your work, keep doing it.

Learn about your rights in regards to your employment and how your pregnancy may affect it. Contact the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and your state civil rights commission for information specific to your state.

Check your pay stab to see if your work place deducts state disability insurance (not all states have this), which means you are eligible for a paid maternity leave (check with state disability insurance for more information). Also review your company’s employee manual for their take on maternity leave, or if they do not have this type of policy, read about short term disability, as well as pregnancy Disability Leave.

When you have researched the topics above make sure to document your questions, so when you are ready for that announcement at the workplace, you will be ready to ask human resources the questions you have. Remember – knowledge is power.

Our baby girl is a year old! What a milestone!

It is fascinating how the perception of time changes when you become a parent. The pregnancy, although ‘only’ nine months long, seemed like the longest period of time. Time stubbornly slowed down with the excitement to meet our baby. But looking back now, a year after the delivery – the fears of the unknown, getting ready for motherhood, the anticipation and all the WAITTING – they are almost like a faint memory.

So much has changed in the past year. Our little baby grew to be a happy, curious, adventurous and very energetic toddler. The transformation from an infant a baby girl went hand in hand with our own development from a couple who happens to have a baby, to parents.

It was amazing to watch her development. From a helpless infant who needed our help with any and every little thing, she has grown to be an independent little lady (ok, tom boy may be more like it..). It is so hard to imagine these changes that you just have to be present to experience them, and every moment (first real smile, the first time she turned, crawled, walked, first tooth, first sounds, first anything) is just so precious.

Happy First Birthday!