When you see your friends or family members go through a pregnancy you think, ‘how nice’, or maybe even ‘she’s so lucky’. You never consider the stress and planning that goes into having a child until… you are there (yes, there are a few planners who think of it all in advance, but even they have surprises along the way).

As your delivery date approaches you may suddenly realize that you don’t know much about how to care for a baby.  You may not have ever given a bath to a newborn, and/or you are clueless about breastfeeding.  There are millions of things to know – yet most of us go into motherhood less than prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. These types of thoughts may be overwhelming, but before you freak out you should know that you are not alone!

The truth is that everyone who chooses to have a baby has to learn how to care for their child (and who better than you to care for your baby). It has been done for generations by new (and clueless) parents around the world. However, by some miracle most of us become a ‘pro’ in no time!

In the meanwhile, how do you get over the anxiety and fears you have around caring for a baby that isn’t even here yet? That’s a great question! First, you can (and should) take advantage of parenting classes offered by your hospital, such as baby basics, infant CPR, breastfeeding, etc.

Second, turn to your friends and family for help and advice. Other Moms have experienced many of the same feelings you are facing now (weather they will admit to it is a different story), reach out to them and try to learn from their experience.

You can also find reading material on caring for a newborn online or in print (What to Expect your First Year as well as many others.  There are some really good books that can guide you through more than just the first year!)

When your baby finally arrives, ask for help and accept any help offered to you! Just remember when you suddenly find yourself doubting and fearful of what to do next remember you are not alone!

Who would have thought there could be two people battling over… your boobs? Yea, I said ‘boobs’. Strange, isn’t it? But it is possible that one day your husband (who may originally have been the number one advocate for breastfeeding in the household) would suggest that you should give up nursing. Confused, you may wonder where this is coming from. Well, your husband misses having you to himself! It can and does happen that your other half is jealous of the intimacy you have with your baby, and may fear that he can no longer share that part of you.

While you may not feel the same, Daddy may be all about introducing a bottle to your baby just after a few months. You don’t have to cave immediately, nor do you have to attack him for these feelings. Remember, parenting is new to the both of you, and having someone new in the family, who takes up so much of the attention, can be hard on both of you. Talk about the reason for his suggestion and see what steps you can take that will suit all of you.

Before you make accusations, make sure Daddy isn’t just jealous that you are the only one feeding the baby. If this is the case, you can extract (pump) milk and let him experience feeding your newborn as well.

Also, don’t assume that your husband has ‘boob jealousy’. Your husband may suggest you consider switching over to formula for other reasons as well. One of which can be his acknowledgment that breastfeeding is tiring (which it is!) and you are stretching yourself too thin. If this is the case, you may want to listen to the logic behind this idea and consider your options. You can try and rest more, or depending on your baby’s age and nutritional needs you may consider increasing the amount of milk or even introduce solid foods. Certainly if you have doubts about what is best for your baby you can always consult your doctor in effort to find the best solution for you and your baby.