Becoming a parent changes you dramatically. Whether you realize it right away or wake up one day with the new understanding that the old you is no more, it certainly happens. That is not to say that your personality changes, (though you may think it does with dramatic changes in hormone levels in your body right after the delivery) but your priorities re-organize, your schedule changes and your daily activities revolve around new things.

Some of us realize we became a mom or about to become one the moment we see the positive pregnancy test. Some when we see our belly grow, or feel the baby kick. Some of us need more time to grasp this life changing role, we will be taking on for the rest of our lives.

What made you realize you are a mom? Share your mom realization experience!

You may think this would be easier, after all, you have been through it before and know all there is to know. Well, that’s not quite right. You may be surprised to find out that your second pregnancy will be different than your first and that you still have new experiences coming your way.

First you should recognize that each pregnancy is unique, even for the same woman; just like every child is unique and has his own personality, within the same family. Each fetus grows at his own pace and starts to develop his own persona from within. This may mean that one pregnancy will feel more active, kicking-wise, than the other and/or your body will respond differently.

The second time around you may find that you are more tired. Don’t forget that during your first pregnancy you had no one, but yourself to care for. Remember that time when you could rest as much as you wanted?  No such luck this time… you are now a mother and your little one(s) depends on you. Running after your child(ren) can be exhausting, especially now that you are pregnant.

It seems that since your body has already experienced changing and adjusting, to accommodate for a pregnancy, it would know what to do, but it can still surprise you with each new pregnancy. It really depends on how fit you were going into each pregnancy, how much time passed between pregnancies and if you are having multiples or experiencing a high risk pregnancy. Any difference in the circumstances can affect how your body will handle it this time around.

Try to set aside time to rest, our body needs it. Make sure you eat right, both you and your baby’s development depends on it. Personal time is important for you to recharge, being a mother and being pregnant only means it is harder to make the time, but not that it is no longer needed.

We all have our moments; after all, there is no ‘class’ on how to become parents.  We gave birth, and suddenly this huge responsibility landed in our laps.

While pregnant, you prepare yourself for the arrival of your baby. You may take baby care classes at your hospital, speak to your family and friends about your questions and concerns, or maybe read books or research the internet. It is good practice to get advice and information and prepare for the future.

Still, as much as you plan for the future, when you hold your newborn for the first time, with all the joy and excitement, it is common and normal to worry about the unknown. After all, you have never been a Mom before.

If you sometimes worry that you’re not cut out to be a Mom, you are not alone. Some 70%-80% of moms have doubts about this big role in life. You may overcome this feeling after adjusting to your new title, or carry this feeling for years. Either way, if your child is loved and cared for, you are doing your job as a Mom.

As a Mom, it is expected that you will face times where you will need to be strong, resourceful, or just plain creative to deal with the situations of day to day life. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back every once in a while and remember to cut yourself some slack.

You can’t blame hormonal changes, you have no incision pain from a cesarean section, or an episiotomy to heal, or difficulties breastfeeding. Everyone expects you to be happy and thankful for the adopted child you have longed for, but you feel panic and/or maybe even depressed.

Yes, post adoption depression is a real condition. Many adopting Mothers feel there is no validation to their feelings of sadness or anxiety because society expects them to be grateful for the child they have received. However, feeling overwhelmed about your new role as a Mother and the responsibilities that come with it, is not a reaction that stems from the actual pregnancy, but the long awaited parenthood that came after.

Raising a child is a tremendous responsibility and it is life changing. Many adopting Mothers are older when they start their new role as a Mom. Parenthood is a role that can drain your energy and take a toll you on physically as well. Also, the older you are when becoming a Mom, the harder it may be to adjusting to this new and entirely different lifestyle.

Another cause for post adoption blues is the actual completion of your long awaited desire to be a Mother. After years of chasing the dream of motherhood, perhaps also after foregoing unfruitful fertility treatments, you are at the end of the road with a child in your arms. The emotional rush that accompanied your days on the way to parenthood has abruptly dissolved and you need to adjust to the concept of achieving this tremendous goal.

If you adopted a baby, much like a birth mother, you are facing sleepless nights, you may be learning to care for a baby for the first time and question your knowledge/capabilities/etc.

Bringing home a new baby or child is a big change, accompanied with new responsibilities and added financial expenses amongst other things. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and equally important to give yourself a break and accept help, or in some cases – ask for it.

Preterm labor and birth can be scary for a variety of reasons. First and probably the most obvious, is the realization that your baby needs additional support to survive, and Instead of going home to celebrate with family and friends, you are still very much attached to the hospital if your baby is in NICU.  This is probably the last thing you thought you might have to contend with – leaving your newborn, whom you may have not even had a chance to hold yet, in an incubator in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)..

While you understand the importance of care your child is receiving in the hospital, it would have been much simpler and exciting to take your child home with you. Bonding is just so much easier with physical touch, and you may not have even touched your baby, let alone hold him/her.

It can be frustrating and scary when faced with this scenario, and many parents find it hard to deal with leaving their newborn at the NICU. This time, already so saturated with emotions, may be confusing and scary, but it important for parents with babies in the NICU to do their best to start bonding right away, despite the challenges and difficulties.

Bonding with your baby in the NICU requires patience and strength. Start with being there for your newborn. His/her development is influenced from your care tremendously. Even with no touch, you can give your child love. Talk to him, or read his stories. Your voice and smell, and if possible the touch of your hand on his head, can comfort you both.

If you planed to breastfeed, there is no need to change your plans. Start pumping right away and give your milk to the nurses to give to your baby. This way your milk supply will not diminish due to it not being used, and your baby will have the benefit of mother’s milk.  Breastmilk is important for his immune system and development. If your preemie can not yet eat (which is common in smaller preemies), pump and store your milk.

While parenting in the NICU is difficult and poses challenges, it is time well spent for both you and your little one. Your presence and care may very well help shorten his stay in the hospital, and when you bring your baby home you will already have a strong relationship and the adjustment will be made smoother.

When you see your friends or family members go through a pregnancy, you think “how nice”, maybe even “lucky her”. The last thing you probably think about is the stress and planning that they go through until, well, you are there.  Yes, there are planners who think of it all in advance, but even they have surprises along the way.

As your delivery date approaches, you may suddenly realize that you actually do not know how to care for a baby, have never given a bath to a newborn, or you are clueless about breastfeeding. These types of thoughts may be overwhelming, but are expected. Before you allow yourself to freak out (which is allowed, but not always necessary or beneficial…) you should know – you are not alone!

Lets start with the fact that everyone who chooses to have a baby has to learn how to care for their child.  It has been done for generations (how else would we be here?…) by new parents around the world. While parenting comes from experience, there are plenty of resources to help you feel prepared for parenthood!

New parents often ask: how do you get over the anxiety and get the hang of caring of a baby that isn’t even here yet? That’s a great question! First, you can (and should) take advantage of parenting classes offered by your hospital, such as baby basics, infant CPR, breastfeeding, etc.

Another great resource is your friends and family for help and advice. Other Moms have experienced the same feelings and questions you are facing now. While some parents are timid about sharing their newborn experiences, most feel obliged to giving tips and ideas as they too were once in your shoes.

You can also find reading material on caring for a newborn online or in print (there are some really good books that can guide you through more than just the first year!).  Many have found various blogs to be useful and honest, and provide the opportunity for parents to connect and relate to other parents around the world.

When your baby arrives, ask for help and accept any help offered to you! And always remember, you are not alone! Parenting can seem intimidating and requires a huge amount of responsibility, however the more you read and talk about it, the better you will feel about becoming a parent!

“Some emotional roller coasters are natural and expected after childbirth, even if your baby sleeps like an angel and you truly love your visiting in-laws.”

About 70% of new mothers experience some form or another of baby blues. These feelings are caused by the sudden change in hormonal balance after childbirth. Other factors that may trigger this phenomenon include feeling of anxiety stemming from the sudden responsibility and tremendous task of caring for a newborn, fatigue and lack of sleep every new parent experiences, even frustration over breastfeeding difficulties or problems.

Baby blues symptoms may include weepiness, mood swings, irritability, anxiety, loneliness, restlessness and / or impatience. While emotional turmoil is normal, you want to make sure it is under control to avoid more serious forms of depression, such as the postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis.  In rare instances, mothers who suffer from postpartum psychosis commonly do not know they are experiencing depression and are putting themselves and their child at risk. If you feel you are under more emotional pressure than you can deal with or would like to know more information about baby blues, speak with your health care provider.

Don’t keep your partner in the dark. If you feel that you have the baby blues, let him know what you are experiencing and find ways for him to help you in any way you may need.  You don’t have to deal with the baby blues alone. Together you can devise a plan to help you get some rest and share the responsibilities of parenthood.  Through cooperation and open communication, you can hurdle over the baby blues and enjoy raising the newest member of the family together.

This mild form of depression can start a few days to a week after giving birth, and usually lasts for about two weeks. If you continue feeling “blue” or notice the symptoms mentioned above lasting for over two weeks, talk with your physician about how to recognize and treat postpartum depression. There is no shame in admitting you are experiencing the baby blues. The sooner you talk about it and get the assistance you need, the sooner you will feel yourself again!

Breastfeeding is a very personal and intimate activity between you and your baby, and deciding to wean your baby, and when can (but doesn’t have to) be a bit tricky, if not painful process for the both of you.

It is really up to you to decide when is a good time to quit ‘the boob’, or when you have just had enough (which is a normal  – do not beat yourself up. You have given your baby a lot already just giving him colostrum). There is no right or wrong (or magic) age for weaning, so go with your gut feeling. Of course you want to make sure your baby has supplements (formula or solids, depending on both age and weather he has teethes). You can try those before or during the time you choose to wean your baby.

It is recommended to wean gradually, and not just stop breastfeeding altogether one day. The later way will certainly be more painful for the both of you. It can potentially be traumatic for your baby, and you will be facing engorgement and may risk getting mastitis (a breast infection). Instead, start by skipping a feeding, and replace it with formula or solids. This way your body will learn to gradually produce less milk.

Don’t be discouraged if your baby denies other foods, but try other options. For example, if your baby refuses formula, try warming it up a bit. Breast milk is at body temperature, formula refusal may be due to too many changes (both in taste, smell and temperature).

Some babies wean themselves when they are ready (even if you may not be), which saves you from having to do it for them. But if you are ready before your baby is, start slowly and together you will reach the goal!

You may also like:

• Weaning – It Is Your Choice
• Your Boobies, my boobies

Going back to work is tough – especially if you were lucky enough to get a full 12 weeks of maternity leave to spend with your new little angle.  Unfortunately, time flies by quickly – especially when you are sleep deprived and trying desperately to adjust to a new schedule with new parenting responsibilities.  You might be left feeling a little overwhelmed by yet another obligation of ‘work’. So now what?

Although you may have thought about going back to work while you were pregnant – you may find it difficult to do when you are suddenly faced with the realities of leaving your child with a sitter.  In fact, you may find it harder to do than you had originally anticipated.  Or you may be one of those mothers who is anxiously awaiting a much needed break from all the chaos of becoming a new parent and getting back into your old routine may sound refreshing.  Whichever side of the coin you fall – these feelings do not reflect on your connection and / or love to your baby what-so-ever. These feelings associate with change and need to be dealt with and addressed.

Before return to work you need to decide what to do with your baby during our absence. Your choices are between leaving your child with a family member, if that is a possibility, hire a babysitter or consider a daycare . All options have pros and cons, but only you can determine what you feel most comfortable with.

If you choose to hire a babysitter, you can check your local YMCA for infant & child CPR certified listings, get referrals from friends and family, and learn what to ask a potential sitter and how to choose one.

When looking for a daycare you first want to see what is available in your area. Ask family members and friends with young babies / children if they can recommend a daycare. A recommendation may put you at ease in selecting a facility for your loved one.  When looking, you want to check what ages they accept and what their cost is. After you have narrowed down the options you can choose the one you feel most confident will provide the best environment for your little bundle of joy.

There are different options out there, and you want to be comfortable with the one you choose. Take the time to do the research ahead of time if possible, so you can find the best fit for you and your baby.

In a world where having children is a joy and excitement and anxious anticipation of what is to come fills our conversations – it’s amazing how quiet everyone gets once these little blessings arrive into our lives.  Let’s be honest, parenting is hard!  However, what often makes it harder is that few parents will admit or even talk about the difficulties of parenting. Sometimes I wonder if people are living in denial, or if they are just hiding under a thick blanket of ‘keeping appearances’ up for the surrounding world.  Regardless, of why so many shy away from admitting that parenting hard – it is, and remains the world’s most difficult and challenging job!  It will test your patience, ability to multi-task, ability to get anything truly done in a day, and it will force you to operate and function with only minimal sleep.  Somehow when we are planning for our babies to arrive we find it hard to imagine any difficulties or challenges.  Even while pregnant, you may think “I want 3 kids”, and plan them to be two years apart – your plan will be the most logical thing to you, and seemingly make sense until your first baby arrives.  Then reality sets in..

The reality of motherhood is that it is far from being logical let alone scheduled. Life takes a new turn once your little one arrives, and for the most part takes control over your daily routine. Especially if you choose to be a stay at home Mom (but also if you don’t), and try to put order in the chaos that is now your life (newborns often mix up their days and nights, and if you are lucky, they will feed every 3 hours on average). It will take months (if not years) till your schedule will return to.. hummmm, your hands.

Children are a joy – nonetheless, parenting is challenging and difficult.  People don’t tell you that being a new parent equals little to no sleep for months, dealing with new experiences (even with your second or third child; each baby is unique in its temper and needs), and having to keep going, providing, and many times having to keep a job on top of everything at home.

The irony is we can’t truly know what we do not know, nor can we understand experiences we have never had – yet it is really important to know that the challenges that lie ahead will test you in ways you’ve never been tested before.  However, do not spend too much time worrying over the future and try to enjoy the pregnancy with all its challenges and expect for the best after. Meeting your new baby is an amazing experience. Learning how to care for your newborn, yourself and your marriage is not easy, but give yourself a chance, with time, it DOES get easier. And if you need help, support or advice, you can always speak to family, your baby’s pediatrician, friends or other professionals.

Enjoy every minute, because even if you are sleep deprived and think you are miserable, you’ll be surprised at how fast this stage is gone and they grow. Enjoy your baby’s milestones that make you a proud mother such as the first time they smile, laugh, turn, crawl, etc. Like many things in life, the little things are what make it all worth it.

Amazingly enough, we forget how difficult it was and then have another…