The life you had before baby and the life you have after you become a mom are very different, there is no question about it. But you are still you, and you can choose, to a level, to maintain some parts of your pre-baby lifestyle. it’s not like you didn’t know before you got pregnant, that life as a mom will be different, but it is hard (if not impossible) to imagine the changes that take place when you have a baby.

Remember those long nights you spent with your life partner, watching a movie or going out parting? Well, now your long nights include feeding baby, changing diapers and trying everything you can to relieve colic. You’re still up half the night, but not always out of choice.

Suddenly (and somewhat miraculously) you understand your parents, and an appreciation that may have not been there before is instantly there. If you never asked for their advice, you may find you actually want it now. After all, they raised you, and you came out just fine.

Time that used to be yours is not in your hands any more. When baby needs you, you are there for him/her, no matter what you were in the middle of, or what you’d like to be doing right now. The tiny beautiful creature in your hands is 100% dependant on you.

You find strengths you did not know were in you. When you are doing it for your child, whatever ‘it’ is, childbirth, difficulties breastfeeding, etc. you find the way and motivation to overcome the greatest obstacles.

You learn to multi task like you never have before. With all the extra loads of laundry, feeding time, sleepless nights, doctor appointments, play time and more, you will learn how to get it all done, or prioritize and get some rest.

No one said life as a mom was easy, but it is full of accomplishments and joy, and is oh so worth it. And when your little one is not so little anymore, you may get a night out with your spouse, when baby is enjoying the night with the grandparents or a babysitter.

When you are expecting and are anxious to meet your baby, nine months may seem like a long time. But time flies between work, doctor visits and preparing for both the actual pregnancy and the arrival of your newborn.

Here are a few things to put on your to do list:

• It goes without saying that once you find out you are pregnant, you need to find an OBGYN or a Midwife to be your caregiver throughout the pregnancy. If you are not sure which is best suited for you, this is the time to learn the differences and make your educated choice.

• You will not need Maternity clothes right away, but when the time comes, don’t resist it. The weight gain is normal and healthy (unless otherwise noted by your caregiver) and there is no reason not to embrace and celebrate it. The beautiful curves of pregnancy can be enhanced with the right fit maternity clothes and make you feel and look better about the changes your body is going through.

• During your first prenatal visit, you will be asked about your work environment to determine if it is safe for you and your baby to continue what you do during your pregnancy, or if you need to make adjustments at work. This is for the health and safety of both you and your unborn baby.

• Deciding when to tell your employer about your pregnancy is up to you. There is no law requiring you to share your news at a specific point in the development of your pregnancy. Telling your employer can result in a sympathetic attitude, leading to better terms or more leniencies toward your situation. At the same time, your employer may not be so understanding. Make your decision based on your situation at work.

• You may want to consider seeking a Photographer to commemorate this special time in your life. It is usually best to have your maternal photo shoot between the fifth and seventh month of pregnancy, when you look and feel best. Earlier than those months, you may not be showing, and later, you may feel too heavy to do anything like this.

• Learn about Maternity leave in your state. It may look like you have lots of time before you will need to know the facts about maternity leave, but time flies and it is always smart to do your research in advance. This way, if you are not eligible for maternity leave, you’ll be prepared and make the necessary arrangements.

Revise your list to reflect the things you would like to get accomplished before your life will change completely…and for the better!

Boy, girl — or big surprise? Should you find out? For some people, it is not at all a question. For others, it may be a bit of a challenge to decide if they want to know the sex of the baby in advance. It is a personal preference and should be left for you and your partner to decide, not decided for you.

Some parents to be want to know the gender as soon as the ultrasound and baby’s position allows the technician to take a peak, if not sooner. These parents may be curious, excited, or have a number of other reasons why they want to know the sex of their baby in advance.

Other parents prefer to wait till the birth to find out. They may feel it is more appropriate or special this way, or may have had a bad experience with an incorrect ultrasound read in the past, and do not want to give it another go and get the wrong gender colors.

The reason why you choose to know your baby’s gender in advance or wait till the birth is less important than you being happy with whatever it is you have decided. Remember, if you chose not to know, you can change your mind later, but if you chose to find out ahead of time, you can not turn back the wheel.

If you are still on the fence, ask yourself if you are the curious type. Can you wait till the birth to find out or do you just ‘have to know already’? Do you wish to prepare for your baby in advance and are gender specific clothing and baby room décor important to you? Even if the answer is yes and yes, you can always get neutral basics and add to them after the birth.

Benefits of finding out:
• Some women say they feel a deeper bond with the baby once they know the sex and can imagine holding their little boy or girl.
• It may be easier to prepare an older sibling for the arrival of a new little brother or sister.
• You can start / continue thinking of baby names, looking only at one gender.
• You can pick out a gender-specific nursery theme or baby clothes.

Benefits of waiting:
• You and your family will have a delightful surprise on the day you give birth.
• Your desire to know whether your baby is a boy or a girl might motivate you during the toughest parts of labor.
• You’ll be following in the tradition of your parents, your parents’ parents, etc.
• There will be no mistakes — what you see is what you get!

Expanding your family, whether you already have children or you are working on your first, is a life-changing experience. The decision is usually a mutual one (unless the pregnancy was a surprise to you both), and can bring about joy, but may also cause stress, anxiety, confusion and other feelings.

It is normal to be emotional about a change of this magnitude in your life. After all, the lifestyle you have known up until this point is about to be drastically altered.

If your family is expanding from two to three or more, you may be worried about the unknown, such as basic baby care for multiples, or parenting styles accustomed to each child. Parenting classes, usually offered by your hospital, can help prepare you for your new role as a parent by covering some of the basics.

If you worry about making mistakes, rest assure, you WILL make them, so there’s really no need to give it too much thought. Do your best and use your judgment, and remember you can always ask for help or advice from other parents or professionals.

Planning to expand your family the second or third (or more) time around has its own joys and challenges. You consider age differences and what the perfect spacing is for your family, but remember that most women don’t conceive on the demand and getting pregnant usually takes several tries.

What ever the age differences may be, there are different challenges to overcome and joys to be shared when raising siblings. Research sibling preparation classes for your kids when expecting a new baby, or talk to them; get them ready for the new addition to the family.

Raising children is the most demanding and the most joyous job you will experience and once you have them, you are in for the long run. Embrace your new title as a parent with all that comes with it. Remember to make time for romance and don’t forget how it all started.

For some people is it not even a question – they have always wanted kids or are at the point in their life were they are ready and want to take on this life change. Others may be going back and forth, not sure if it is time or if it is even something they want. Then there are those who are content with their life as it is and choose not to make any changes.

Regardless of your choice, make the most of it and enjoy it. Having kids right away, waiting or choosing not to have kids, are all valid decisions and are yours to make. So don’t let others make it for you.

Parenthood is both one of life’s most joyous times and its most demanding. It is hard to imagine the essence of parenthood before you have kids.

Being a parent is a much harder job than you can foresee, no matter how ready you are. The constant demand for your time and energy, the little time to recharge, the lack of training, the financial strain, and emotional involvement are all part of the difficulties of being a parent. With so much stress involved – there are the mistakes you will make (and you will), that will affect the people you love most.

No mater how much you have prepared for it, or what your plans are, they will change with the arrival your baby. It is impossible to anticipate how you will react to this tremendous responsibility, or how you will do with little to no sleep. The dynamics between you and your partner will change (sometimes temporarily, other times for good), because of the new roles you will both assume. Life in its entirety will never be the same after you become a parent.

At the same time, there is nothing that compares to the love you will receive from your child, their first smile, all the hugs, laughing together – all these and more are the heart and sole of being a parent. The rest you will have to find out on your own if you are ready to take on this life changing adventure.

Remember, there is no turning back!

“Some emotional roller coasters are natural and expected after childbirth, even if your baby sleeps like an angel and you truly love your visiting in-laws.”

About 70% of new mothers experience some form or another of baby blues. These feelings are caused by the sudden change in hormonal balance after childbirth. Other factors that may trigger this phenomenon include feeling of anxiety stemming from the sudden responsibility and tremendous task of caring for a newborn, fatigue and lack of sleep every new parent experiences, even frustration over breastfeeding difficulties or problems.

Baby blues symptoms may include weepiness, mood swings, irritability, anxiety, loneliness, restlessness and / or impatience. While emotional turmoil is normal, you want to make sure it is under control to avoid more serious forms of depression, such as the postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis.  In rare instances, mothers who suffer from postpartum psychosis commonly do not know they are experiencing depression and are putting themselves and their child at risk. If you feel you are under more emotional pressure than you can deal with or would like to know more information about baby blues, speak with your health care provider.

Don’t keep your partner in the dark. If you feel that you have the baby blues, let him know what you are experiencing and find ways for him to help you in any way you may need.  You don’t have to deal with the baby blues alone. Together you can devise a plan to help you get some rest and share the responsibilities of parenthood.  Through cooperation and open communication, you can hurdle over the baby blues and enjoy raising the newest member of the family together.

This mild form of depression can start a few days to a week after giving birth, and usually lasts for about two weeks. If you continue feeling “blue” or notice the symptoms mentioned above lasting for over two weeks, talk with your physician about how to recognize and treat postpartum depression. There is no shame in admitting you are experiencing the baby blues. The sooner you talk about it and get the assistance you need, the sooner you will feel yourself again!

Parenting is an art that is not taught in a class, but sometimes you may think maybe it should be.. We do our best to learn with our first child (then our second and third) what and how to do when, etc. We also make mistakes, hopefully learn from them and feel we are at least trying the best we can.

With the first baby, it is likely you are still in the dark about many things, and are trying out different approaches and methods to feel out which is appropriate for both you and your baby. Take bedtime routines, methods and theories for example. There are many of them, and on paper they may sound like a piece of cake, but in reality they may be harder to execute, and you always have to remember that your little one is an individual and hasn’t read the book you read..  So be patient and if one method doesn’t work, try another (make sure you give enough time for each method before you move on to the next).

With time and the development of your baby, you will start disciplining him/her. You may find yourself saying ‘NO’ a lot more than you have originally expected, or maybe a lot earlier than you thought you would. Once you decide it is time to start disciplining your baby, you’ll first have to consider your options and choose an approach. You should get Daddy on board so that you are not confusing yourselves or your child – consistency is key. However, you may find that that it easier said than done.

Remember that discipline is not only about saying ‘NO’. You also need to make sure to give your baby/toddler/child positive reinforcement and encouragement. A positive approach is crucially important for kids. Think of yourself when you were younger and try to remember what did and didn’t work for your parents and be creative in how you approach discipline and positive reinforcement with your own children.

Stay consistent with the approach you chose and remember to give your baby/toddler/child a lot of love and attention. By doing so, you are helping your child develop trust in you, and later in others.

In today’s westernized society, couples are waiting longer to settle down and have a family – increasing the average first time parent age close to 30. It’s not hard to understand why, with education becoming more emphasized and careers becoming the center of our lives, there is no surprise that starting a family is often put on the back burner. Many couples set financial goals for themselves and forget to include how a baby may affect their goal achievement.  Some are sucked into their careers to such a degree, that the idea of having a baby gets pushed aside. While others even decide that having a baby will have such a negative impact on their career that they chose not to have any children at all.

All these are valid thoughts and life decisions. But if you DO want a family, you should remember that the clock is ticking, even for men.

Someone once told me that there is never a good time to have a baby (or maybe it was ‘there is never a good time like the present?’ I’m not sure anymore). In the pursuit of life, power and money, it is only logical that we are “too busy” to become parents, or we don’t have enough this that or the other thing. But when we wait for all these “things” (which we will acquire regardless if we really want them), we forget that we are not getting younger, and that raising a baby takes energy.

Over the last 2000 years, the average age for first time parents increasing. In biblical times the average age for a mother was about 13. Today the age is about 30. Although there are still some very young parents – there are many more older parents – often exceeding 40. If you do the math, you’ll find that more and more couples have their first child in their early 30’s verses their early 20’s just a generation ago.

Before you wake up one day and feel you have missed the train, consider your options. Maybe you don’t have to accomplish everything on your list before you start your family, or maybe you do. Just acknowledge the fact that time could be of the essence and money/power/etc. may not be ‘all that’ if it costs you your chance at parenthood.