The 40 week (give or take) long journey is done. The birth is behind you, the announcement boy/girl has been made, and the Apgar test has been done. If there were no complications, your baby is in your arms, skin to skin, maybe already learning how to latch on or nursing.

Now that the birthing process is over, you are likely exhausted from the delivery and feeling overwhelmed with emotions of excitement, relief, and love.  However, before you are left to bond with your baby, there are a few things your obstetrician may need to do.

• Your baby may have been delivered, but your placenta needs to come out as well. Your doctor / midwife may ask you if you want to see it.

• If you had an episiotomy or have a tear requiring stitches, your midwife or doctor will stitch up your perineum.

• Your bladder will be checked and you will be asked if you can go to the bathroom.

• If you had an epidural, it will be removed.

• Your midwife or the labor nurse will massage your uterus to help it contract and stop bleeding. This may feel uncomfortable, and you may feel liquid gushing out.

• If you are having difficulties nursing your baby, or haven’t done so yet and wish to, you can ask your midwife or a lactation consultant at the hospital for assistance.

Your baby will also be checked by your doctor / midwife.

• Right after birth, your newborn’s airway will be cleared and gently suctioned with a rubber bulb to remove blood and fluid from the nose and mouth.

• The umbilical cord will be cut.

• The APGAR test will be done one minute after birth and then again at five minutes.

• If you chose to bank your baby’s cord blood, your obstetrician / midwife will clamp or cut the cord and then collect the cord blood.

• He will be dried and covered to keep him warm.

• Your baby will then be laid on your stomach or chest so can bond and/or start nursing.

• The doctor or nurse will examine him to make sure there are no obvious problems that need emergency treatment.

CONGRATULATIONS!

The saying “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers” could not be any closer to the truth. Think of it for a moment.  Once you have your first baby, it will become more evident to you how needed you are (and how much can be done in not to much time…).

At home, even before the baby, you most likely did (or shared with your spouse) the household chores. Cleaning the house, washing & folding laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning again, etc. Once you become a mother, your ‘skills’ are needed even more, and by more people. The obvious new roll you take on is the one of a mother. Your baby needs you for everything, especially in the first six months. Once your newborn can crawl, sit and entertain him/herself, you will still be needed, but will have more freedom to multi task as you may have done before.

The life you had before, may seem to have vaporized in front of your eyes, but one thing that hasn’t changed, is how much your spouse needs you now. Having a baby means changing the rules of the game completely, but at the same time it is important to continuously work on your romantic relationship. It is very common for new Dads to be jealous of the attention their newborns are getting from Mom. Attention that used to be his. Keep this in mind and talk to your spouse. Together you can divide the work load at home and find time to be together just the two of you.

After the birth you’ll find that you are needed at work more than you may want to be (at least in the beginning). After you get used to working, you’ll even find the positive sides of having time apart from your baby. Depending on your arrangement at work, you will be kept busy during the day.. and later kept busy at home too.

The many hats you wear keep you busy, and a helpful and understanding family will help you find the balance to tackle it all as well as find a minute to rest. If you can, accept any help offered to you, especially right after the delivery and in the first three months. Do not be too hard on yourself if you can’t get it all done as fast as you did before or beat yourself up if need help, embrace the new situation and ask for help when you need it.

It may not look like it in the beginning, but it DOES get easier.

Young babies usually sleep in time spans of 2-4 hours at a time, but yet we use the term ‘slept like a baby’ to indicate we have slept well. Oh the irony.

Newborns sleep 14-18 hours a day during their first week of life. In the first month after that, they typically sleep 12 to 16 hours a day. Sounds great, right? You will have time to adjust to your new roll, sleep, and enjoy your baby. Well, not quite. While newborns do need many hours of sleep per day, most babies don’t stay asleep for more than two to four hours at a time, day or night, during the first few weeks of life.

This means plenty of very irregular sleep for your baby, and a tiring new schedule for you (no one said raising kids was easy.. here is your first introduction..). You may find that there is little difference between night and day. Many babies even have a harder time relaxing after night fall, and may be more colicky at night. Feedings are regularly scheduled every 3-4 hours, which means you don’t get much continuous sleep either.

While not always doable, it is recommended to try and sleep when your baby sleeps. Yes, there are other chores you may need / want to accomplish while your baby is asleep, but if you can get help with those, or postpone them to another time (like tomorrow), you will thank yourself! Once rested, you will surely have more energy, and can get more done faster.. It is amazing what a little sleep can do…

In a world where having children is a joy and excitement and anxious anticipation of what is to come fills our conversations – it’s amazing how quiet everyone gets once these little blessings arrive into our lives.  Let’s be honest, parenting is hard!  However, what often makes it harder is that few parents will admit or even talk about the difficulties of parenting. Sometimes I wonder if people are living in denial, or if they are just hiding under a thick blanket of ‘keeping appearances’ up for the surrounding world.  Regardless, of why so many shy away from admitting that parenting hard – it is, and remains the world’s most difficult and challenging job!  It will test your patience, ability to multi-task, ability to get anything truly done in a day, and it will force you to operate and function with only minimal sleep.  Somehow when we are planning for our babies to arrive we find it hard to imagine any difficulties or challenges.  Even while pregnant, you may think “I want 3 kids”, and plan them to be two years apart – your plan will be the most logical thing to you, and seemingly make sense until your first baby arrives.  Then reality sets in..

The reality of motherhood is that it is far from being logical let alone scheduled. Life takes a new turn once your little one arrives, and for the most part takes control over your daily routine. Especially if you choose to be a stay at home Mom (but also if you don’t), and try to put order in the chaos that is now your life (newborns often mix up their days and nights, and if you are lucky, they will feed every 3 hours on average). It will take months (if not years) till your schedule will return to.. hummmm, your hands.

Children are a joy – nonetheless, parenting is challenging and difficult.  People don’t tell you that being a new parent equals little to no sleep for months, dealing with new experiences (even with your second or third child; each baby is unique in its temper and needs), and having to keep going, providing, and many times having to keep a job on top of everything at home.

The irony is we can’t truly know what we do not know, nor can we understand experiences we have never had – yet it is really important to know that the challenges that lie ahead will test you in ways you’ve never been tested before.  However, do not spend too much time worrying over the future and try to enjoy the pregnancy with all its challenges and expect for the best after. Meeting your new baby is an amazing experience. Learning how to care for your newborn, yourself and your marriage is not easy, but give yourself a chance, with time, it DOES get easier. And if you need help, support or advice, you can always speak to family, your baby’s pediatrician, friends or other professionals.

Enjoy every minute, because even if you are sleep deprived and think you are miserable, you’ll be surprised at how fast this stage is gone and they grow. Enjoy your baby’s milestones that make you a proud mother such as the first time they smile, laugh, turn, crawl, etc. Like many things in life, the little things are what make it all worth it.

Amazingly enough, we forget how difficult it was and then have another…