Regardless of whether or not you have (or are in the process of developing) a thriving carrier, after childbirth, you may find it hard to return to work and leave your little one in the caring hands of another family member, a nanny or the caregiver at a childcare.

While that is a normal feeling to have and a common inner struggle a new mom goes through, deciding to give into these feelings and deciding to become a stay at home mom is not for everyone.

First you want to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if you really truly can stay home and not return to your job. While you may miss your child if/when you return to work, it is also possible you will miss your job, doing other things that do not involve baby crying and diaper changing. Not every woman by definition wants/chooses to be with her child(ren) all the time. There is nothing wrong with being a carrier woman, wanting to be around adults for a portion of the day, and do thing to promote yourself. Being a Mom does not have cancel out other parts of your life if you don’t want it to.

If you decided your carrier can be on hold for sometime so you can devote yourself to your newborn, ask yourself if you would like to return to your job one day, and whether your employer will potentially take you back if you leave now to be a stay at home mom.

Before you do anything, calculate your expenses and see if you can afford to stay home with your child(ren). Many woman find that most or a good portion of their paycheck goes to the nanny or daycare, and if you prefer to stay with your baby, maybe you should.

Don’t make decisions without your spouse and really think about the implications and consequences.

Becoming a parent changes you dramatically. Whether you realize it right away or wake up one day with the new understanding that the old you is no more, it certainly happens. That is not to say that your personality changes, (though you may think it does with dramatic changes in hormone levels in your body right after the delivery) but your priorities re-organize, your schedule changes and your daily activities revolve around new things.

Some of us realize we became a mom or about to become one the moment we see the positive pregnancy test. Some when we see our belly grow, or feel the baby kick. Some of us need more time to grasp this life changing role, we will be taking on for the rest of our lives.

What made you realize you are a mom? Share your mom realization experience!

About 70% of new moms experience some form, or another, of baby blues. They are caused by a sudden shift in hormone levels after childbirth and are perfectly normal. Other factors that may trigger the baby blues include: a feeling of anxiety caused by the new responsibility of having a newborn, fatigue and lack of sleep that comes from being a new mother and even frustration over breastfeeding difficulties or other problems.

Though baby blues are normal and common and usually disappear on their own, there is no reason to just accept them. If you want to chase them away sooner, ease the symptoms and/or feel better faster.

Beating the baby blues may be easier than you may think. Try the following to get back to your old self sooner:

You will be surprised what exercising regularly can do for your mood (and your body.) Wait with exercising, until after your postpartum doctor appointment (usually six weeks after childbirth) and ask your doctor if it is okay to resume physical activity.

Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. If you are nursing you will find that you need this well balanced diet more than you ever did.

Join a support group for new mothers. It is always nice, and can be helpful, to know people in the same situation as you. You may make new friends and learn a trick or two to make your new lifestyle easier to handle.

Make time daily for something you enjoy! While you are a mother now, you are still a woman and it is important to make time for yourself. If it is hard to make the time, take a look at your priorities and change them, if need be. You will thank yourself for it!

Give yourself a change of scenery by meeting with a friend for a cup of coffee or enjoy an evening out with your partner. Parenting does not mean life is over, just different. Still you need to nurture your relationships in order to be the best mother you can be.

Divide the parenting responsibilities between you and your spouse so you do not feel like you are doing everything by yourself. This does not mean you have to divide everything equally, after all, your Hubby cannot breastfeed, but there are many things that you can both do and Dad needs time to bond too.

The 40 week (give or take) long journey is done. The birth is behind you, the announcement boy/girl has been made, and the Apgar test has been done. If there were no complications, your baby is in your arms, skin to skin, maybe already learning how to latch on or nursing.

Now that the birthing process is over, you are likely exhausted from the delivery and feeling overwhelmed with emotions of excitement, relief, and love.  However, before you are left to bond with your baby, there are a few things your obstetrician may need to do.

• Your baby may have been delivered, but your placenta needs to come out as well. Your doctor / midwife may ask you if you want to see it.

• If you had an episiotomy or have a tear requiring stitches, your midwife or doctor will stitch up your perineum.

• Your bladder will be checked and you will be asked if you can go to the bathroom.

• If you had an epidural, it will be removed.

• Your midwife or the labor nurse will massage your uterus to help it contract and stop bleeding. This may feel uncomfortable, and you may feel liquid gushing out.

• If you are having difficulties nursing your baby, or haven’t done so yet and wish to, you can ask your midwife or a lactation consultant at the hospital for assistance.

Your baby will also be checked by your doctor / midwife.

• Right after birth, your newborn’s airway will be cleared and gently suctioned with a rubber bulb to remove blood and fluid from the nose and mouth.

• The umbilical cord will be cut.

• The APGAR test will be done one minute after birth and then again at five minutes.

• If you chose to bank your baby’s cord blood, your obstetrician / midwife will clamp or cut the cord and then collect the cord blood.

• He will be dried and covered to keep him warm.

• Your baby will then be laid on your stomach or chest so can bond and/or start nursing.

• The doctor or nurse will examine him to make sure there are no obvious problems that need emergency treatment.

CONGRATULATIONS!

While breast milk is a natural way to feed your newborn, not all Moms can or choose to do so. There may be various reasons why you cannot or choose not to breast feed your baby. But no matter what the reason is, you will have to choose a supplement.

There are many choices in the market today. Do not give your baby cow milk or other milks that adults ingest before one year of age. The best option for infants is baby formula. When selecting, decide what form best fits you, whether it is ready-made, concentrate, or powder. You may choose to go organic, or if your baby is colicky or is lactose intolerant, you may need to switch to a more specific formula.

Feed by demand but don’t force feed. This means to feed when your baby when he is hungry and when he is done, do not force him to finish the bottle. Newborns usually eat 2-4 oz every two to three hours in the first 6-8 weeks. This depends on the baby’s weight, weight gain and appetite. Consult your doctor if you think your baby is not getting enough food.

Signs that your baby is hungry include a variety of mouth movements, sucking on their hand or blanket, etc. and crying.

To heat Formula, do not use the microwave. It warms liquids unevenly and may burn your baby’s mouth if too hot. Soak the bottle of Formula in hot water for several minutes or hold under the faucet. Test the temperature on the inside your wrist before giving the bottle to your baby. Your baby may also like it cold or at room temperature.

Make sure to check the expiration on the Formula container and notate the date of when the container was opened. Once opened, its life time is shortened dramatically. Read the label on the container to determine how long it will be good for. Do not save any unfinished bottle of formula.

Never dilute the formula to get more feedings out of it. Adding even just a little bit of water can be dangerous and even fatal. When diluting baby formula, the nutrients and electrolytes in it are weakened and other than affecting the baby’s nutritional balance, it can cause seizers and brain problems.

As for anything else, if you have any questions or concerns, contact your baby’s pediatrician for assistance and information.

Expanding your family, whether you already have children or you are working on your first, is a life-changing experience. The decision is usually a mutual one (unless the pregnancy was a surprise to you both), and can bring about joy, but may also cause stress, anxiety, confusion and other feelings.

It is normal to be emotional about a change of this magnitude in your life. After all, the lifestyle you have known up until this point is about to be drastically altered.

If your family is expanding from two to three or more, you may be worried about the unknown, such as basic baby care for multiples, or parenting styles accustomed to each child. Parenting classes, usually offered by your hospital, can help prepare you for your new role as a parent by covering some of the basics.

If you worry about making mistakes, rest assure, you WILL make them, so there’s really no need to give it too much thought. Do your best and use your judgment, and remember you can always ask for help or advice from other parents or professionals.

Planning to expand your family the second or third (or more) time around has its own joys and challenges. You consider age differences and what the perfect spacing is for your family, but remember that most women don’t conceive on the demand and getting pregnant usually takes several tries.

What ever the age differences may be, there are different challenges to overcome and joys to be shared when raising siblings. Research sibling preparation classes for your kids when expecting a new baby, or talk to them; get them ready for the new addition to the family.

Raising children is the most demanding and the most joyous job you will experience and once you have them, you are in for the long run. Embrace your new title as a parent with all that comes with it. Remember to make time for romance and don’t forget how it all started.

We all have our moments; after all, there is no ‘class’ on how to become parents.  We gave birth, and suddenly this huge responsibility landed in our laps.

While pregnant, you prepare yourself for the arrival of your baby. You may take baby care classes at your hospital, speak to your family and friends about your questions and concerns, or maybe read books or research the internet. It is good practice to get advice and information and prepare for the future.

Still, as much as you plan for the future, when you hold your newborn for the first time, with all the joy and excitement, it is common and normal to worry about the unknown. After all, you have never been a Mom before.

If you sometimes worry that you’re not cut out to be a Mom, you are not alone. Some 70%-80% of moms have doubts about this big role in life. You may overcome this feeling after adjusting to your new title, or carry this feeling for years. Either way, if your child is loved and cared for, you are doing your job as a Mom.

As a Mom, it is expected that you will face times where you will need to be strong, resourceful, or just plain creative to deal with the situations of day to day life. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back every once in a while and remember to cut yourself some slack.

For some people is it not even a question – they have always wanted kids or are at the point in their life were they are ready and want to take on this life change. Others may be going back and forth, not sure if it is time or if it is even something they want. Then there are those who are content with their life as it is and choose not to make any changes.

Regardless of your choice, make the most of it and enjoy it. Having kids right away, waiting or choosing not to have kids, are all valid decisions and are yours to make. So don’t let others make it for you.

Parenthood is both one of life’s most joyous times and its most demanding. It is hard to imagine the essence of parenthood before you have kids.

Being a parent is a much harder job than you can foresee, no matter how ready you are. The constant demand for your time and energy, the little time to recharge, the lack of training, the financial strain, and emotional involvement are all part of the difficulties of being a parent. With so much stress involved – there are the mistakes you will make (and you will), that will affect the people you love most.

No mater how much you have prepared for it, or what your plans are, they will change with the arrival your baby. It is impossible to anticipate how you will react to this tremendous responsibility, or how you will do with little to no sleep. The dynamics between you and your partner will change (sometimes temporarily, other times for good), because of the new roles you will both assume. Life in its entirety will never be the same after you become a parent.

At the same time, there is nothing that compares to the love you will receive from your child, their first smile, all the hugs, laughing together – all these and more are the heart and sole of being a parent. The rest you will have to find out on your own if you are ready to take on this life changing adventure.

Remember, there is no turning back!

You can’t blame hormonal changes, you have no incision pain from a cesarean section, or an episiotomy to heal, or difficulties breastfeeding. Everyone expects you to be happy and thankful for the adopted child you have longed for, but you feel panic and/or maybe even depressed.

Yes, post adoption depression is a real condition. Many adopting Mothers feel there is no validation to their feelings of sadness or anxiety because society expects them to be grateful for the child they have received. However, feeling overwhelmed about your new role as a Mother and the responsibilities that come with it, is not a reaction that stems from the actual pregnancy, but the long awaited parenthood that came after.

Raising a child is a tremendous responsibility and it is life changing. Many adopting Mothers are older when they start their new role as a Mom. Parenthood is a role that can drain your energy and take a toll you on physically as well. Also, the older you are when becoming a Mom, the harder it may be to adjusting to this new and entirely different lifestyle.

Another cause for post adoption blues is the actual completion of your long awaited desire to be a Mother. After years of chasing the dream of motherhood, perhaps also after foregoing unfruitful fertility treatments, you are at the end of the road with a child in your arms. The emotional rush that accompanied your days on the way to parenthood has abruptly dissolved and you need to adjust to the concept of achieving this tremendous goal.

If you adopted a baby, much like a birth mother, you are facing sleepless nights, you may be learning to care for a baby for the first time and question your knowledge/capabilities/etc.

Bringing home a new baby or child is a big change, accompanied with new responsibilities and added financial expenses amongst other things. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and equally important to give yourself a break and accept help, or in some cases – ask for it.

When you see your friends or family members go through a pregnancy, you think “how nice”, maybe even “lucky her”. The last thing you probably think about is the stress and planning that they go through until, well, you are there.  Yes, there are planners who think of it all in advance, but even they have surprises along the way.

As your delivery date approaches, you may suddenly realize that you actually do not know how to care for a baby, have never given a bath to a newborn, or you are clueless about breastfeeding. These types of thoughts may be overwhelming, but are expected. Before you allow yourself to freak out (which is allowed, but not always necessary or beneficial…) you should know – you are not alone!

Lets start with the fact that everyone who chooses to have a baby has to learn how to care for their child.  It has been done for generations (how else would we be here?…) by new parents around the world. While parenting comes from experience, there are plenty of resources to help you feel prepared for parenthood!

New parents often ask: how do you get over the anxiety and get the hang of caring of a baby that isn’t even here yet? That’s a great question! First, you can (and should) take advantage of parenting classes offered by your hospital, such as baby basics, infant CPR, breastfeeding, etc.

Another great resource is your friends and family for help and advice. Other Moms have experienced the same feelings and questions you are facing now. While some parents are timid about sharing their newborn experiences, most feel obliged to giving tips and ideas as they too were once in your shoes.

You can also find reading material on caring for a newborn online or in print (there are some really good books that can guide you through more than just the first year!).  Many have found various blogs to be useful and honest, and provide the opportunity for parents to connect and relate to other parents around the world.

When your baby arrives, ask for help and accept any help offered to you! And always remember, you are not alone! Parenting can seem intimidating and requires a huge amount of responsibility, however the more you read and talk about it, the better you will feel about becoming a parent!