While that is a normal feeling to have and a common inner struggle a new mom goes through, deciding to give into these feelings and deciding to become a stay at home mom is not for everyone.

First you want to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if you really truly can stay home and not return to your job. While you may miss your child if/when you return to work, it is also possible you will miss your job, doing other things that do not involve baby crying and diaper changing. Not every woman by definition wants/chooses to be with her child(ren) all the time. There is nothing wrong with being a carrier woman, wanting to be around adults for a portion of the day, and do thing to promote yourself. Being a Mom does not have cancel out other parts of your life if you don’t want it to.

If you decided your carrier can be on hold for sometime so you can devote yourself to your newborn, ask yourself if you would like to return to your job one day, and whether your employer will potentially take you back if you leave now to be a stay at home mom.

Before you do anything, calculate your expenses and see if you can afford to stay home with your child(ren). Many woman find that most or a good portion of their paycheck goes to the nanny or daycare, and if you prefer to stay with your baby, maybe you should.

Don’t make decisions without your spouse and really think about the implications and consequences.

How far along into the pregnancy should you be when you tell your employer is entirely up to you, unless the type of work you do involves potential hazards materials or a medical condition is involved.  Otherwise, your pregnancy is legally irrelevant to your work. If you can do your work, keep doing it.

Learn about your rights in regards to your employment and how your pregnancy may affect it. Contact the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and your state civil rights commission for information specific to your state.

Check your pay stab to see if your work place deducts state disability insurance (not all states have this), which means you are eligible for a paid maternity leave (check with state disability insurance for more information). Also review your company’s employee manual for their take on maternity leave, or if they do not have this type of policy, read about short term disability, as well as pregnancy Disability Leave.

When you have researched the topics above make sure to document your questions, so when you are ready for that announcement at the workplace, you will be ready to ask human resources the questions you have. Remember – knowledge is power.

Although you may have thought about going back to work while you were pregnant – you may find it difficult to do when you are suddenly faced with the realities of leaving your child with a sitter.  In fact, you may find it harder to do than you had originally anticipated.  Or you may be one of those mothers who is anxiously awaiting a much needed break from all the chaos of becoming a new parent and getting back into your old routine may sound refreshing.  Whichever side of the coin you fall – these feelings do not reflect on your connection and / or love to your baby what-so-ever. These feelings associate with change and need to be dealt with and addressed.

Before return to work you need to decide what to do with your baby during our absence. Your choices are between leaving your child with a family member, if that is a possibility, hire a babysitter or consider a daycare . All options have pros and cons, but only you can determine what you feel most comfortable with.

If you choose to hire a babysitter, you can check your local YMCA for infant & child CPR certified listings, get referrals from friends and family, and learn what to ask a potential sitter and how to choose one.

When looking for a daycare you first want to see what is available in your area. Ask family members and friends with young babies / children if they can recommend a daycare. A recommendation may put you at ease in selecting a facility for your loved one.  When looking, you want to check what ages they accept and what their cost is. After you have narrowed down the options you can choose the one you feel most confident will provide the best environment for your little bundle of joy.

There are different options out there, and you want to be comfortable with the one you choose. Take the time to do the research ahead of time if possible, so you can find the best fit for you and your baby.

Well, we sure know how to shoot ourselves in the foot and feel like we won, don’t we?… We now doubled our responsibilities and are torn between a carrier and a family, or at least some of us may be. There certainly are solutions for each, but you have to plan ahead before actually becoming a Mom. Or at least think of your options if you are a carrier woman and are planning on returning to work once your maternity leave is over.

Returning to work after having your first child can bring up different feelings, and your reaction is very personal to your lifestyle, goals and whether you control the decision to return to work (which many woman don’t), as well as your still out-of-whack after birth hormones.

Even if you chose to return to work, it may be harder than you expected in the beginning.  You may find that as the return to work date approaches you wish you could extend your stay at home longer. Also, the first week may be hard and you may find yourself on the phone with the babysitter most the time or thinking of your baby and what he/she may be doing at that moment. These feelings are normal, and believe it or not, it WILL get better.

Some women are ready to return to work, and may even welcome the return to a routine that is familiar and involves adults… As special as your baby is, you still need a break from feeding, cleaning, changing diapers and all that comes with caring for a baby, even if that break happens to be work.

As a new Mom, be ready for anything. If you were a carrier driven woman before, you will find that you get excited about work again eventually if not right away. Just give yourself time to adjust to the new situation. After all, this is all new, and it only makes sense that you want to be with your child.

Give yourself time, and it’ll all fall into place eventually.