Achieving the goal of parenthood together can certainly bring a couple closer. However, at the same time the difficulties and challenges you face as a new parents can bring about conflict about parenting methods and approaches. Believe it or not, but bringing home a baby can ignite feelings of jealousy, or the loss of ‘first place’ in the eyes of your partner. Fatigue and lack of time to devote to each other can also cause frustration. Sooner or later you may realize that parenthood, as amazing as it may be, is affecting your relationship with your partner in ways you did not anticipate.

What can you do? After all, you are exhausted, your baby is completely dependant on you, and you cannot find a minute to devote to anything else. For starters, you can acknowledge the problem. Talk to your partner about both your feelings and see what your expectations from each other are.

Making time for each other is crucial. If you have relatives or friends who are willing or offering to help / babysit take them up on it! A night out, even an hour or two, would do wanders to your perspective and your relationship.

Divide up your responsibilities so that when baby is asleep, you can take the time to cuddle in front of the TV or have a candle light dinner, rather than running around trying to finish up all your chores.

Lower your standards. Although hard to do for some, you will notice that prioritizing and adjusting your standards for what is considered clean, tidy, etc. can free up some of your time and allow you the time you are missing with your spouse, as well as time to relax and recharge.

With time, your baby will become more independent and you will have more time and opportunity to nurture your relationship with your partner. In the mean time, make a few adjustments to make time for your marital relationship. It is important for you and your child that your relationship with your spouse is a strong and happy one.

If you worry about pain during intercourse, you are not alone. Your vagina may be dry (especially if you are breastfeeding) and tender, which can be resolved with the use of lubricants. Start slowly and share your feelings with your partner. Different positions may work better, so try different ones if in pain till you find the right fit. If intercourse is still painful, consult your OB/GYN for other possibilities.

It is normal for your sexual desire to decline after childbirth. Fear of painful intercourse, fatigue from care for a newborn and hormone levels changing, even baby blues, can result in decreased desire to have sex. Share these feelings and concerns with your partner and find other ways maintain intimacy till you are ready to resume sex.

When you are ready to resume sexual activity, make sure you wait to have intercourse after your postpartum checkup. Realize that child birth does affect your sex life. Think for a moment of the delivery process. Remember that? It caused some trauma to your body, and it takes time for it to get back to its normal state. Thing will not be exactly as they were, but close to it. Decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex. Kegel exercises will help restore the pelvic floor muscles.

Whatever issues you may experience in your sex life after giving birth, give yourself time. Things will get better when your body will heal and you will be adjusted to motherhood and your new schedule and lifestyle.