When we were about eight months pregnant, we met friends (a couple with two children) for dinner. We were going to talk about babies, and what we need to have ready before our daughter is born, what to purchase, what to expect, etc. Instead, we dove into a conversation about politics and almost completely neglected the baby topic, which was no big deal since we were having so much fun.

Somehow during desert, we got back on topic long enough to hear one statement that has stayed with me since: “Daddy is always three months behind”. That is, Daddy is three month behind Mommy in understanding and accepting the major changes that are happening in a couple’s life when they are expecting a baby.

Not to say that this statement is absolute, but it made sense to some degree for us, and in different ways to other (but of course not all) couples.

It is natural for the Mom-to-be to realize the changes to come during her pregnancy, for she is carrying the baby for the duration of the pregnancy and by that possibly even developing a connection with her unborn baby. For Dad-to-be, it could be harder to connect or even to comprehend that a big change is to come. While this difference between man and woman is natural, it does not have to be this way.

It all starts from the womb

You can help your partner in crime, the “Soon to be a Daddy”  have a better grasp on the new life growing inside you, and the changes to come by asking him to join you at the Doctor’s office on your monthly prenatal visits. When the baby is big enough for you to feel kicks, you can have Daddy put his hand on your belly so he can feel the baby kicking as well.

You can look for baby names together, decide on a theme for the baby’s room and prepare a list of things you will need once the baby is born. You can also talk about your birth plan and put together a bag for the hospital in preparation for the big day.

And then you become a parent

The first three months of most babies’ lives revolve around sleeping and eating. Both rocking your newborn to sleep and feeding him are wonderful opportunities for Daddy to bond with the baby. If you are nursing, you can pump and let your partner feed.

As your baby grows, there will be many activities and opportunities for each of you to bond with him, each in your own way. With time, family activities and play, the three months delay will disappear.