While it may sound like the easier way to give birth, you should give it some thought before you choose an operation over vaginal delivery. You may be thinking a cesarean section is the solution to avoiding long hours of pushing, having your vagina change (it will regardless), dealing with an episiotomy, even have your water break when you are not ready, etc.

Well, yes, it is one route you can take to avoid certain fears you may have, but is having an operation the best solution for you? Before you make that decision, consider whether or not you want / prefer having staples in your belly and catheter in your bladder; is it really worth having to experience a longer hospital stay as well as a longer recovery. Also, do you want to take the risk of returning to the hospital because of an infection.

Know that once you have one cesarean section, you will most likely have repeat cesareans in future pregnancies. Though today more and more women have successful VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), most obstetricians will prefer you have a cesarean if you have had one before.

When a cesarean section is needed for medical reasons, or due to an emergency, you may not have a way to avoid it, but will be grateful for this life saving operation. Though in the absence of such circumstances, weigh your options and consider which is safer for both you and your baby, as well as which will allow you to recover faster and/or better.

The process of labor and birth is divided into three stages.

Stage one includes early labor and active labor. It is the longest stage of the three and it is when the cervix opens (dilates) and thins out (effaces) to allow the baby to descend into the birth canal and start the journey out into the world.

Early labor is the stage when contractions start and your cervix begin to dilate. Contractions may last 30 to 60 seconds and come every 5-20 minutes. As your cervix begins to open you may notice your mucus plug has passed (also known as bloody snow.) This stage is unpredictable and may last for hours or even days. The level of discomfort varies between one woman to another and even between one pregnancy and another, for the same woman.

Active labor starts when your cervix dilates to 10 centimeters. At this point contractions will become stronger and progressively longer. If you haven’t already, get yourself to the hospital now. This stage may last up to several hours. On average it lasts up to eight hours. This is the time to use the breathing techniques you have learned in your birth preparation classes and to get encouragement from your partner and the healthcare team.

Stage two includes the birth! This is the time to start pushing with each contraction. This stage could take, from a few minutes to several hours, or more. It usually takes longer for first time moms. The best birthing position is the one that works best for you; if you are uncomfortable lying down, try squatting or sitting. When pushing, be sure not to hold tension in your face. Bear down and concentrate on pushing when it counts. You will feel a great sense of relief after your baby is born, so Push! Push! Push!

Stage three includes the delivery of the placenta, after your baby is born. At this point you may already be holding your newborn and thinking it is all over, while in actuality your obstetrician is still delivery the placenta and ensuring your bleeding is normal and under control. This stage usually takes about 5-10 minutes, but can take up to 30 minutes, in some cases.

Your health care provider will massage your lower abdomen to help your uterus contract and expel the placenta. You may be asked to push one more time to deliver the placenta, which usually comes out with a small gush of blood. You will be asked if you want to see the placenta. If you tore or had an episiotomy and need to be stitched, your doctor will do so now.

Congratulations!

Postpartum depression is a serious illness, that can last for months after childbirth, miscarriage and stillbirth. Symptoms of postpartum depression include deep sadness, feelings of hopelessness, loss of appetite, sleep problems, extreme fatigue, difficulty to concentrate and even fatal thoughts. You may also find yourself unable to care for your newborn.

Unlike baby blues, which many women experience in the first couple of weeks after childbirth, postpartum depression can last for months. With baby blues, you may have trouble sleeping and feel moody, teary, and overwhelmed, but you will likely have these feelings along with being happy about your baby.

In rare cases, a severe form of depression called postpartum psychosis may develop after childbirth. Symptoms of postpartum psychosis may include strange behavior and hearing things that are not there. A women suffering postpartum psychosis may harm herself or her baby or others and needs immediate treatment.

It’s very important to get treatment for depression. The sooner you get treated, the sooner you’ll feel better and enjoy your baby.

“Some emotional roller coasters are natural and expected after childbirth, even if your baby sleeps like an angel and you truly love your visiting in-laws.”

About 70% of new mothers experience some form or another of baby blues. These feelings are caused by the sudden change in hormonal balance after childbirth. Other factors that may trigger this phenomenon include feeling of anxiety stemming from the sudden responsibility and tremendous task of caring for a newborn, fatigue and lack of sleep every new parent experiences, even frustration over breastfeeding difficulties or problems.

Baby blues symptoms may include weepiness, mood swings, irritability, anxiety, loneliness, restlessness and / or impatience. While emotional turmoil is normal, you want to make sure it is under control to avoid more serious forms of depression, such as the postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis.  In rare instances, mothers who suffer from postpartum psychosis commonly do not know they are experiencing depression and are putting themselves and their child at risk. If you feel you are under more emotional pressure than you can deal with or would like to know more information about baby blues, speak with your health care provider.

Don’t keep your partner in the dark. If you feel that you have the baby blues, let him know what you are experiencing and find ways for him to help you in any way you may need.  You don’t have to deal with the baby blues alone. Together you can devise a plan to help you get some rest and share the responsibilities of parenthood.  Through cooperation and open communication, you can hurdle over the baby blues and enjoy raising the newest member of the family together.

This mild form of depression can start a few days to a week after giving birth, and usually lasts for about two weeks. If you continue feeling “blue” or notice the symptoms mentioned above lasting for over two weeks, talk with your physician about how to recognize and treat postpartum depression. There is no shame in admitting you are experiencing the baby blues. The sooner you talk about it and get the assistance you need, the sooner you will feel yourself again!

A full term pregnancy lasts anywhere between 37 and 42 weeks (counted from the first day of the last menstrual period). Contractions starting on or after the 37^th week of a healthy pregnancy are normal and expected and will lead you to the delivery room.  It is contraction or dilation (opening of the cervix) before the 37^th week that may lead to preterm labor and/or premature birth.

The danger in premature birth is that the baby may not be fully developed to live outside the womb. Premature babies (also called preemies) are at high risk to develop complications, which in some cases can result in death. The risk of complications increases the earlier the baby is born. After a preterm birth, the preemies are cared for in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) until they are of full term, have reached the minimum weight and are out of harm’s way.

It is hard to predict preterm labor or birth, especially with first pregnancy. There is a range of factors that can affect preterm labor, including certain genital tract infections, placenta issues, excessively large uterus, too much amniotic fluid and certain chronic maternal illnesses. Speak to your doctor about preterm labor or birth if you experience any of the above issues or are concerned about it and want to know more.

After roughly 40 weeks of pregnancy, usually even a month or so earlier, you are ready for the last stage of the pregnancy – the delivery. Hopefully by now you have mastered all the birth preparation courses offered by your hospital (if you chose to take them), and your hospital bag is ready (or you at least have a good idea what it should contain).

At this point it is probably safe to assume you understand that there is no way back and the only way to get this baby out is to go through with childbirth. You may be concerned and even frightened about the pain of the actual birth, wonder about contractions and how they feel, and be impatient in expectation for the big day to finally arrive.

While you wait for your little one to make its way down the birth canal and your cervix to start dilating, you can take action as well to prepare your body for the delivery. What can you do? To start, you can drink loose leaf red raspberry tea. This tea is known to help strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and induce labor. While not medically proven, it is widely used by midwives throughout the world, and if you are ready to meet your little one sooner, why not try?

At around 35 weeks, it is time to start thinking about tearing, episiotomies and how you may be able to avoid them. An episiotomy is a surgical cut in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus (the area called the perineum) made just before delivery to enlarge your vaginal opening. Buy almond oil and start with tri-weekly perineum massage. You may need to engage your partner in this activity, for it may be challenging to reach your perineum area with a big prego belly..

To help speed along the arrival of your baby you can try to help your pelvis to open up by bouncing on a birth (aka Pilate’s) ball with your legs spread apart, or walk up stairs two at a time; it is said that taking a long walk can help, as well as swimming (belly down); having sex is another way to help speed things along. There are many other tricks to induce labor you can try, but your best bet is to enjoy the time you have of your life as you know it pre baby and let your baby do what’s best for him.

Have an easy delivery!

The saying “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers” could not be any closer to the truth. Think of it for a moment.  Once you have your first baby, it will become more evident to you how needed you are (and how much can be done in not to much time…).

At home, even before the baby, you most likely did (or shared with your spouse) the household chores. Cleaning the house, washing & folding laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning again, etc. Once you become a mother, your ‘skills’ are needed even more, and by more people. The obvious new roll you take on is the one of a mother. Your baby needs you for everything, especially in the first six months. Once your newborn can crawl, sit and entertain him/herself, you will still be needed, but will have more freedom to multi task as you may have done before.

The life you had before, may seem to have vaporized in front of your eyes, but one thing that hasn’t changed, is how much your spouse needs you now. Having a baby means changing the rules of the game completely, but at the same time it is important to continuously work on your romantic relationship. It is very common for new Dads to be jealous of the attention their newborns are getting from Mom. Attention that used to be his. Keep this in mind and talk to your spouse. Together you can divide the work load at home and find time to be together just the two of you.

After the birth you’ll find that you are needed at work more than you may want to be (at least in the beginning). After you get used to working, you’ll even find the positive sides of having time apart from your baby. Depending on your arrangement at work, you will be kept busy during the day.. and later kept busy at home too.

The many hats you wear keep you busy, and a helpful and understanding family will help you find the balance to tackle it all as well as find a minute to rest. If you can, accept any help offered to you, especially right after the delivery and in the first three months. Do not be too hard on yourself if you can’t get it all done as fast as you did before or beat yourself up if need help, embrace the new situation and ask for help when you need it.

It may not look like it in the beginning, but it DOES get easier.

Most of us took the sex education class in high school, right? What did they teach us there? What did we learn in biology about human anatomy and the reproduction system? Did we even listen, or were we too embarrassed to pay attention?

I think the later is most likely the closest answer to the truth, or it could be that we just forgot. Here’s a shocking (?) reminder – there is a whole lot more to getting pregnant other than having sex.  We should care to know the details for two reasons: One, so we know how NOT to get pregnant and two, so when we are ready we know what/when we need to do in order to increase our chances for conception.

If you are trying to conceive, you want to know when you are ovulating, so your efforts are more targeted. Something else to keep in mind is that sperm can live in the female reproductive system for up to three days. This will affect when you want to have intercourse.

Your physical health is a factor when it comes to your fertility. Pregnancy history, miscarriages and planned abortions can all affect your chances to conceive. The “ticking clock” is not a myth – your body will tell you when it is ready. Your fertility is at its peak in your mid 20’s. Not to say that the window is closed before or after, but it may become more challenging after age 35.  Something else to keep in mind is that weight issues can cause infertility. Malnourishment as well as overweight, can both affect your chances of conceiving.

If you are sexually active, but are not planning a baby, there are a few facts you should NOT overlook. The first is an all time myth that curtain sex positions will keep you from getting pregnant – this is NOT true. Also, proven methods to prevent a pregnancy include birth control pills and the use of condoms. Counting on safe days is a dangerous way to go. Specific foods or diets do not have a large impact on fertility, contrary to some beliefs. All in all, if you are NOT trying to conceive, research the birth control options available today. Talk to your doctor to see which one is best for you and your needs.

You may also like:

• How long will it take once you decide to get pregnant?
• Common Mistakes On The Way To Pregnancy