Our almost eight months old baby girl has started daycare this week. This big milestone for the entire family was planned a few months in advance. It took a while to find the right place. Actually, after we have found one that we thought was OK, we stumbled upon the truly perfect fit. So we switched daycares, before we even started one. Yes, apparently it is THAT hard to choose the right place for your child. Or maybe it is just us.

When the date was close, we started preparing ourselves by telling others (friends and family) about the big day. Responses were varied. Some claimed it was long time coming and maybe we should have even done it sooner. Others suggested it was too early, and maybe we should consider keeping her home longer, or possibly get a nanny instead of sending her off to daycare. There were comments such as ‘get ready for her to get sick a lot and catch who knows what over there’, which even if true, sounded very inappropriate in tone, like they were accusing all daycares for being a breading environment for diseases.

We were worried that our little one will not like daycare. She has only been with someone other than Mommy or Daddy twice in her life, and we did not know how she would react to this reparation. Is she ready? Will it take her long to adjust?

Monday morning we (Mommy and Daddy) took her to daycare together. Armed with 3 bags full of required items off the list we were provided by the daycare (diapers, wipes, paper towel rolls, Kleenex, etc.) and one bag with her personal items (extra clothes, sock, bottles, etc.), we marched into the building. We passed by admissions to say hi and sign some last minute forms; said hello to a few people on the way and made it to the infant room.

By then we were quit nervous, but neglected to realize one important fact. With all that people had told us, and the fears that our bundle of joy will feel abandoned, we forgot to consider our own feelings about this huge event. A minute after we set her on the floor, our baby found a pile of toys and forgot about our existence. The teacher told us to let her play (code for ‘you can leave now’), and we were left feeling abandoned.

We watched her through the vision window in the door for a few minutes and then left (only for a few hours, but still…). We were so consumed with how she will react to this change, it never occurred to us that we will have a hard time to let go. And she is only eight months old! We thought we would have at least until her teens before we are tossed aside…

Parenting is an art that is not taught in a class, but sometimes you may think maybe it should be.. We do our best to learn with our first child (then our second and third) what and how to do when, etc. We also make mistakes, hopefully learn from them and feel we are at least trying the best we can.

With the first baby, it is likely you are still in the dark about many things, and are trying out different approaches and methods to feel out which is appropriate for both you and your baby. Take bedtime routines, methods and theories for example. There are many of them, and on paper they may sound like a piece of cake, but in reality they may be harder to execute, and you always have to remember that your little one is an individual and hasn’t read the book you read..  So be patient and if one method doesn’t work, try another (make sure you give enough time for each method before you move on to the next).

With time and the development of your baby, you will start disciplining him/her. You may find yourself saying ‘NO’ a lot more than you have originally expected, or maybe a lot earlier than you thought you would. Once you decide it is time to start disciplining your baby, you’ll first have to consider your options and choose an approach. You should get Daddy on board so that you are not confusing yourselves or your child – consistency is key. However, you may find that that it easier said than done.

Remember that discipline is not only about saying ‘NO’. You also need to make sure to give your baby/toddler/child positive reinforcement and encouragement. A positive approach is crucially important for kids. Think of yourself when you were younger and try to remember what did and didn’t work for your parents and be creative in how you approach discipline and positive reinforcement with your own children.

Stay consistent with the approach you chose and remember to give your baby/toddler/child a lot of love and attention. By doing so, you are helping your child develop trust in you, and later in others.

Going back to work is tough – especially if you were lucky enough to get a full 12 weeks of maternity leave to spend with your new little angle.  Unfortunately, time flies by quickly – especially when you are sleep deprived and trying desperately to adjust to a new schedule with new parenting responsibilities.  You might be left feeling a little overwhelmed by yet another obligation of ‘work’. So now what?

Although you may have thought about going back to work while you were pregnant – you may find it difficult to do when you are suddenly faced with the realities of leaving your child with a sitter.  In fact, you may find it harder to do than you had originally anticipated.  Or you may be one of those mothers who is anxiously awaiting a much needed break from all the chaos of becoming a new parent and getting back into your old routine may sound refreshing.  Whichever side of the coin you fall – these feelings do not reflect on your connection and / or love to your baby what-so-ever. These feelings associate with change and need to be dealt with and addressed.

Before return to work you need to decide what to do with your baby during our absence. Your choices are between leaving your child with a family member, if that is a possibility, hire a babysitter or consider a daycare . All options have pros and cons, but only you can determine what you feel most comfortable with.

If you choose to hire a babysitter, you can check your local YMCA for infant & child CPR certified listings, get referrals from friends and family, and learn what to ask a potential sitter and how to choose one.

When looking for a daycare you first want to see what is available in your area. Ask family members and friends with young babies / children if they can recommend a daycare. A recommendation may put you at ease in selecting a facility for your loved one.  When looking, you want to check what ages they accept and what their cost is. After you have narrowed down the options you can choose the one you feel most confident will provide the best environment for your little bundle of joy.

There are different options out there, and you want to be comfortable with the one you choose. Take the time to do the research ahead of time if possible, so you can find the best fit for you and your baby.

I returned to work when my baby girl was 10 weeks old. I had gotten myself a Medela In style pump and thought I was ready face the challenges of going back to work while I was still breastfeeding.

Well, after the first day back at work it became clear that it is not THAT EASY! The first week was hard because I missed my baby girl and felt like I was a horrible Mom leaving her alone like that (Daddy was with her, which should have made me better, but still I felt guilty). Between that and other stresses, lack of sleep and adequate nutrition, I suddenly found that I had no milk to pump.

Frustrated and worried, I called a lactation consultant, who recommended Fenugreek supplements. She also suggested I make sure I eat and try to sleep when possible AND when pumping she said in her Australian accent, “and for God sakes, don’t look at the pump. It’s not a contest! Read a magazine or book instead.”

It worked! It really did! After about 10 days I stop taking the Fenugreek capsules and still maintained a high milk supply.

My daughter is now almost 7 months old. And a few weeks ago I had another dry spell. I though this time it was IT – no more milk for good. Then I came to my senses and bought Fenugreek capsules & Organic Mother’s Milk Tea and that same day I started using both – my milk supply went up dramatically! After experiencing two separate episodes of decreased milk supply I’ve learned that these dry spells can happen periodically.  Many of my other friend moms have told me they’ve experienced the same thing.

So, for all you out there, I recommend to NOT PANIC if you find that your milk supply begins to decrease! I would recommend any mother struggling to maintain their milk supply get Fenugreek capsules & Organic Mother’s Milk Tea, and make sure you are eating well and getting plenty of rest!

It used to be common for Mothers to stay home with their kids, take care of the house and everyone’s needs, while Dad went to work to earn money and support the family. Things were very cut and dry and everyone knew their role. But, times have changed. The women’s liberation movement of the 60’s was the start of women taking a stand – burning their bras in their fight for equality, and more importantly choice.

Well, we sure know how to shoot ourselves in the foot and feel like we won, don’t we?… We now doubled our responsibilities and are torn between a carrier and a family, or at least some of us may be. There certainly are solutions for each, but you have to plan ahead before actually becoming a Mom. Or at least think of your options if you are a carrier woman and are planning on returning to work once your maternity leave is over.

Returning to work after having your first child can bring up different feelings, and your reaction is very personal to your lifestyle, goals and whether you control the decision to return to work (which many woman don’t), as well as your still out-of-whack after birth hormones.

Even if you chose to return to work, it may be harder than you expected in the beginning.  You may find that as the return to work date approaches you wish you could extend your stay at home longer. Also, the first week may be hard and you may find yourself on the phone with the babysitter most the time or thinking of your baby and what he/she may be doing at that moment. These feelings are normal, and believe it or not, it WILL get better.

Some women are ready to return to work, and may even welcome the return to a routine that is familiar and involves adults… As special as your baby is, you still need a break from feeding, cleaning, changing diapers and all that comes with caring for a baby, even if that break happens to be work.

As a new Mom, be ready for anything. If you were a carrier driven woman before, you will find that you get excited about work again eventually if not right away. Just give yourself time to adjust to the new situation. After all, this is all new, and it only makes sense that you want to be with your child.

Give yourself time, and it’ll all fall into place eventually.

In today’s westernized society, couples are waiting longer to settle down and have a family – increasing the average first time parent age close to 30. It’s not hard to understand why, with education becoming more emphasized and careers becoming the center of our lives, there is no surprise that starting a family is often put on the back burner. Many couples set financial goals for themselves and forget to include how a baby may affect their goal achievement.  Some are sucked into their careers to such a degree, that the idea of having a baby gets pushed aside. While others even decide that having a baby will have such a negative impact on their career that they chose not to have any children at all.

All these are valid thoughts and life decisions. But if you DO want a family, you should remember that the clock is ticking, even for men.

Someone once told me that there is never a good time to have a baby (or maybe it was ‘there is never a good time like the present?’ I’m not sure anymore). In the pursuit of life, power and money, it is only logical that we are “too busy” to become parents, or we don’t have enough this that or the other thing. But when we wait for all these “things” (which we will acquire regardless if we really want them), we forget that we are not getting younger, and that raising a baby takes energy.

Over the last 2000 years, the average age for first time parents increasing. In biblical times the average age for a mother was about 13. Today the age is about 30. Although there are still some very young parents – there are many more older parents – often exceeding 40. If you do the math, you’ll find that more and more couples have their first child in their early 30’s verses their early 20’s just a generation ago.

Before you wake up one day and feel you have missed the train, consider your options. Maybe you don’t have to accomplish everything on your list before you start your family, or maybe you do. Just acknowledge the fact that time could be of the essence and money/power/etc. may not be ‘all that’ if it costs you your chance at parenthood.

When you see your friends or family members go through a pregnancy you think, ‘how nice’, or maybe even ‘she’s so lucky’. You never consider the stress and planning that goes into having a child until… you are there (yes, there are a few planners who think of it all in advance, but even they have surprises along the way).

As your delivery date approaches you may suddenly realize that you don’t know much about how to care for a baby.  You may not have ever given a bath to a newborn, and/or you are clueless about breastfeeding.  There are millions of things to know – yet most of us go into motherhood less than prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. These types of thoughts may be overwhelming, but before you freak out you should know that you are not alone!

The truth is that everyone who chooses to have a baby has to learn how to care for their child (and who better than you to care for your baby). It has been done for generations by new (and clueless) parents around the world. However, by some miracle most of us become a ‘pro’ in no time!

In the meanwhile, how do you get over the anxiety and fears you have around caring for a baby that isn’t even here yet? That’s a great question! First, you can (and should) take advantage of parenting classes offered by your hospital, such as baby basics, infant CPR, breastfeeding, etc.

Second, turn to your friends and family for help and advice. Other Moms have experienced many of the same feelings you are facing now (weather they will admit to it is a different story), reach out to them and try to learn from their experience.

You can also find reading material on caring for a newborn online or in print (What to Expect your First Year as well as many others.  There are some really good books that can guide you through more than just the first year!)

When your baby finally arrives, ask for help and accept any help offered to you! Just remember when you suddenly find yourself doubting and fearful of what to do next remember you are not alone!

A Few Words About Cesarean Section

A cesarean section is a surgical operation in which the mother’s abdomen and uterus are cut to allow the baby or babies to be taken out into the world. After the baby is out, the placenta will be removed and the incision is sewn shut. This operation was originally designed to be performed only if its benefits are grater than the risks.

More often than not, the medical system may prefer a cesarean section on a vaginal birth. The modern machinery and knowledge provides a safe option, which can be a used as a safe solution to any question mark or issue, as minor as it may be, that may arise before the delivery. This fact rises the percentage of cesareans, at times with no real reason.

Elective Cesarean Section

When a cesarean is planned in advanced (mostly for no medical reason such as risk to the mother or baby), it is called an elective cesarean, which means it is done out of choice. In an elective cesarean, the date is selected / scheduled in advanced by the doctor and there is no dependency in the start of contractions or any other factor.

Today, many women prefer to have an elective, pre scheduled and contraction free cesarean section operation even if there is no medical problem requiring one. Remember, the operation is in fact an operation, with risk of complications and a long recovery. At the same time, the objective for each birth is to deliver a healthy baby while keeping the mother in good health (physically and mentally), so if the end result is just that, an operation can count as a valid means.

Emergency Operation

At times, a complication in the process of a delivery that has started vaginally may force the medical staff to perform an emergency operation. If the emergency c-section is performed due to a fetus distress, you will most likely not have the time to understand exactly what happened and be a part of the decision making. If there is time, ask to take part in the decision making, and understand why the doctors think it is best to proceed this way.  Later, after the delivery, you will feel better knowing you took part in the decision making.

Father presence during the C-Section

In some hospitals the father is allowed to be present in the room for a cesarean section. Unfortunately, he will not be allowed in the room for an emergency operation.

Elective Cesarean Section Advantages

• Protects the pelvic floor, which prevents future problems such as uncontrolled urine leak, uncontrolled gas and the likes.
• Prevents fetus distress during delivery in case of an emergency cesarean.
• Prevents risks of forceps delivery to the baby and mother
• Minimize uncertainties – date, time, length of operation, are all known in advanced to the women & the medical staff, and allow them to prepare for it.
• Eliminates the possibility of passing the 40^th week with no delivery, which may introduce complications.

Elective Cesarean Section Disadvantages

• Chance of infection after the operation
• There is no delivery experience.

My daughter and I now have six months of breastfeeding (BFing) experience under our belt.  Not to say that we don’t have our ups and downs, (more on that in another post) but we pretty much have got the hang of it and feel like we are ‘pros’ now.

She now knows that the “boob” is coming before I even take time to prepare to nurse. I guess it’s all in how she is being held, that signals to her ‘food’s coming, and not from a bottle’.  She opens her mouth wide and awaits the “boob” to find its way to her.  It’s all quite funny honestly.

Once she has latched on, one of two scenarios may occur – she may be alert, interested in playing while eating, or she may be very calm and close her eyes. If she is alert, it can be quite fun (and funny too). She’ll try and reach my face, slapping it absentmindedly while I aim to kiss her little hand. She may hold her leg (which I will also kiss!) and swing it at me or have her foot climbing up my shoulder. It truly is an adventure -playing with your baby while they BF.   I recommend it!

On the other hand, if she is sleepy or calm, it is a completely different experience. All of a sudden I get a chunk of time (where I have no play partner) and a free hand. Thankfully, I usually know in advance which of the two scenarios is more likely to occur, so I can plan for it. Regardless, I always make sure to have a bottle of ice water handy, because BFing makes you thirsty!

After my daughter has claimed her post at the “boob”, with a nursing pillow to support her and one hand holding her comfortably, I can get to ‘my business’. What you can do with only one free hand and a baby in your lap, you ask? Well, ironically you can get quite bit done actually. As long as your baby is comfortable and secure in his/her position, use your judgment and see what works for you.

From both personal and friends’ experience, here are some suggestions of how to use this time: You can – watch TV, read a book / magazine (when was the last time you did that?), browse the net (you don’t need two hands for that!), have a phone conversation, meditate, relax (you forget to do that when you are a new Mom! Here’s your chance). You can also take advantage of this peaceful time and nap (you can BF lying on your side, this way both you and your baby are comfortable).

If you have older kids, this can be a good time for a board game that does not require you to move much, or time to read a book together or practice your child’s reading. If the weather permits, you and you baby can enjoy the outdoors while supervising your older kids as they play.

One friend even confessed she used to cook light meals while BFing! It’s all about how creative you can be as well as how capable you are of multi-tasking.  Never fear if you aren’t comfortable doing more than one thing while breastfeeding – you certainly don’t have too.

We previously talked about your baby’s very first food. Whether it may be breast milk or formula, this was just the beginning of your baby’s culinary experience. The next step comes somewhere between four and six months of age. Consult with your pediatrician first before starting to try out baby food. Your baby will let you know too, they know best when they are ready. Some signs to look for – your baby turning six months old; your baby has doubled his/her birth weight; he/she is staring at people while they eat ‘grown up’ food.

Once you decide it is time to start your baby on solids, you should take a moment or two to learn what options are available to you. Like anything in life, each of the options has pros & cons. Take the time to learn about them so you can make the best decision for you & your baby.

Readymade foods are convenient. They are designed specifically for babies, so the taste should be acceptable by most babies. If you are not a ‘kitchen person’, readymade food is a great solution that will introduce your baby to a variety of tastes and ingredients. The down side of readymade foods is that they can burn a hole in your wallet. Also, to have extended shelf lives, they must contain preservatives, which affect both their nutritional value and taste.

Making baby food at home it easier that you imagine! You don’t have to buy special products and in comparison with readymade food, the expense is dramatically lower. The benefits of making your own baby food is that you know & control what goes in it, and when it was made. Once you & your baby have experimented and you know what foods get the green light, you can pre make them & freeze, so you don’t have to cook every day.

As with anything new give both yourself & your baby time to experiment.  Whatever your decision is, remember, this is just another taste in your baby’s culinary road. In no time, your baby will be eating what you do, just in smaller pieces…