The life you had before baby and the life you have after you become a mom are very different, there is no question about it. But you are still you, and you can choose, to a level, to maintain some parts of your pre-baby lifestyle. it’s not like you didn’t know before you got pregnant, that life as a mom will be different, but it is hard (if not impossible) to imagine the changes that take place when you have a baby.

Remember those long nights you spent with your life partner, watching a movie or going out parting? Well, now your long nights include feeding baby, changing diapers and trying everything you can to relieve colic. You’re still up half the night, but not always out of choice.

Suddenly (and somewhat miraculously) you understand your parents, and an appreciation that may have not been there before is instantly there. If you never asked for their advice, you may find you actually want it now. After all, they raised you, and you came out just fine.

Time that used to be yours is not in your hands any more. When baby needs you, you are there for him/her, no matter what you were in the middle of, or what you’d like to be doing right now. The tiny beautiful creature in your hands is 100% dependant on you.

You find strengths you did not know were in you. When you are doing it for your child, whatever ‘it’ is, childbirth, difficulties breastfeeding, etc. you find the way and motivation to overcome the greatest obstacles.

You learn to multi task like you never have before. With all the extra loads of laundry, feeding time, sleepless nights, doctor appointments, play time and more, you will learn how to get it all done, or prioritize and get some rest.

No one said life as a mom was easy, but it is full of accomplishments and joy, and is oh so worth it. And when your little one is not so little anymore, you may get a night out with your spouse, when baby is enjoying the night with the grandparents or a babysitter.

If you are 37 weeks pregnant and do not have a hospital bag ready for the big day, it is time to get one ready, just in case you go into labor and need to go to the hospital in a rush. Even if you do not need to hurry, when the time comes, you may not be thinking as clearly with all the excitement. Why not put a bag together and be ready.

What will you need:

• Comfortable PJ’s, preferably ones with boob access if you are planning to nurse. Do not pack your favorite PJ’s, unless you are OK with blood stains.
• Your hospital may provide disposable underwear, but in case they do not, pack some from home. Not your sexy ones, but granny ones you do not care too much about, as you may have to throw them away.
• Most hospitals also provide sanitary pads, but just in case, bring some for postpartum bleeding.
• Socks! If it is winter bring slippers as well! You will be walking around on your hospital room floor before you are released.
• If you are the robe type, bring one!
• Clothes to wear when you are released from the hospital. You will most likely NOT fit into your pre pregnancy jeans. Maternity clothes will do just fine at this point.
• An outfit or two to take your baby home in. Consider bringing two different sizes – new born and 0-3 – you never know exactly how much your baby will weigh.
• Receiving blankets, burp clothes.
• Toiletries: body soap, shampoo, conditioner, tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant, etc.
• Toiletries and a change of clothes for hubby (he may be spending the night in the hospital with you.)
• Snacks for hubby – chips, energy bar, etc. While you will not be allowed to eat during labor, hubby does not need to suffer with you.
• Your body pillow if you use one or any pillow from home. If you are at the hospital for a while, why not be comfortable.
• Cell phone and charger.
• Books and magazines. You cannot anticipate how long you will be in labor. Have something to help you pass the time.
• Camera!
• Cash for the vending machines.
• Car seat for the baby, already installed.
• Hospital registration forms, completed. You do not want to deal with paperwork when you get there.
• Birth plan, if you have one.
• Insurance cards.
• Your ID or driver license, for admission.

Happy delivery experience!

Nine months, or forty weeks as they calculate pregnancy, can seem like a very long time when you are expecting your first child. Excitement levels are high and time passes slower and slower with the added weight and increased inconvenience to your changing body. But nine months are really not that long of a time span for all there is to do in preparation for your newborn.

First time moms can find it overwhelming to deal with it all at the same time, therefore planning ahead and researching in advance can make your life that much more pleasant and stress free after your baby is born.

What is there to research and plan for? Here are a few things you may want to think about before you meet your bundle of joy:

• Finding the right Pediatrician for you and your baby can take time. If you have friends with kids, start interviewing them for recommendations. You can also speak to your OBGYN and see if he/she can recommend a good doctor. It is important to find someone you see eye to eye with. After all, they will be caring for your child and be recommending treatments and approaches that affect your child’s health directly.

• Breastfeeding or Formula – Consider your choices and learn about them. It is a personal choice and you are the one who needs to feel confident about it, so don’t let others steer your decision. Learn about the benefits of breastfeeding. Talk to your friends who have breastfed; it will give you an idea if it is for you or not. If it is not, there are other options. In that case, research the different brands and kinds of breast milk supplements that are available to you.

• Some expecting moms spend hours if not days designing their baby’s Nursery. While it is not a must, it is good to know what is out there to make your choice about your baby’s environment. You may choose to co-sleep, in which case, you will not need a crib or bassinet right away. If you plan to breastfeed, you may want to consider purchasing a rocking chair. And the list goes on and on.

• You may decide to wait for the baby shower to see what Clothes + Toys + Accessories you will get before you go out to the store. Or maybe you want to go to the store first and explore the endless designs available and create a registry so you will get exactly what you want.

• Daycare. It is never too early to research daycares if you plan on sending your baby to one. By regulation they are allowed a specific number of babies per teacher, and the good ones fill up faster than you can imagine. Call up the ones you are considering and ask about registration, their schedule (to see that it leaves you enough time to get to and from work), ratio of babies to caregivers and anything that will put you at ease leaving your little one there.

And the list goes on and on.  So, are nine months really that long?

When you are expecting and are anxious to meet your baby, nine months may seem like a long time. But time flies between work, doctor visits and preparing for both the actual pregnancy and the arrival of your newborn.

Here are a few things to put on your to do list:

• It goes without saying that once you find out you are pregnant, you need to find an OBGYN or a Midwife to be your caregiver throughout the pregnancy. If you are not sure which is best suited for you, this is the time to learn the differences and make your educated choice.

• You will not need Maternity clothes right away, but when the time comes, don’t resist it. The weight gain is normal and healthy (unless otherwise noted by your caregiver) and there is no reason not to embrace and celebrate it. The beautiful curves of pregnancy can be enhanced with the right fit maternity clothes and make you feel and look better about the changes your body is going through.

• During your first prenatal visit, you will be asked about your work environment to determine if it is safe for you and your baby to continue what you do during your pregnancy, or if you need to make adjustments at work. This is for the health and safety of both you and your unborn baby.

• Deciding when to tell your employer about your pregnancy is up to you. There is no law requiring you to share your news at a specific point in the development of your pregnancy. Telling your employer can result in a sympathetic attitude, leading to better terms or more leniencies toward your situation. At the same time, your employer may not be so understanding. Make your decision based on your situation at work.

• You may want to consider seeking a Photographer to commemorate this special time in your life. It is usually best to have your maternal photo shoot between the fifth and seventh month of pregnancy, when you look and feel best. Earlier than those months, you may not be showing, and later, you may feel too heavy to do anything like this.

• Learn about Maternity leave in your state. It may look like you have lots of time before you will need to know the facts about maternity leave, but time flies and it is always smart to do your research in advance. This way, if you are not eligible for maternity leave, you’ll be prepared and make the necessary arrangements.

Revise your list to reflect the things you would like to get accomplished before your life will change completely…and for the better!

The 40 week (give or take) long journey is done. The birth is behind you, the announcement boy/girl has been made, and the Apgar test has been done. If there were no complications, your baby is in your arms, skin to skin, maybe already learning how to latch on or nursing.

Now that the birthing process is over, you are likely exhausted from the delivery and feeling overwhelmed with emotions of excitement, relief, and love.  However, before you are left to bond with your baby, there are a few things your obstetrician may need to do.

• Your baby may have been delivered, but your placenta needs to come out as well. Your doctor / midwife may ask you if you want to see it.

• If you had an episiotomy or have a tear requiring stitches, your midwife or doctor will stitch up your perineum.

• Your bladder will be checked and you will be asked if you can go to the bathroom.

• If you had an epidural, it will be removed.

• Your midwife or the labor nurse will massage your uterus to help it contract and stop bleeding. This may feel uncomfortable, and you may feel liquid gushing out.

• If you are having difficulties nursing your baby, or haven’t done so yet and wish to, you can ask your midwife or a lactation consultant at the hospital for assistance.

Your baby will also be checked by your doctor / midwife.

• Right after birth, your newborn’s airway will be cleared and gently suctioned with a rubber bulb to remove blood and fluid from the nose and mouth.

• The umbilical cord will be cut.

• The APGAR test will be done one minute after birth and then again at five minutes.

• If you chose to bank your baby’s cord blood, your obstetrician / midwife will clamp or cut the cord and then collect the cord blood.

• He will be dried and covered to keep him warm.

• Your baby will then be laid on your stomach or chest so can bond and/or start nursing.

• The doctor or nurse will examine him to make sure there are no obvious problems that need emergency treatment.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Boy, girl — or big surprise? Should you find out? For some people, it is not at all a question. For others, it may be a bit of a challenge to decide if they want to know the sex of the baby in advance. It is a personal preference and should be left for you and your partner to decide, not decided for you.

Some parents to be want to know the gender as soon as the ultrasound and baby’s position allows the technician to take a peak, if not sooner. These parents may be curious, excited, or have a number of other reasons why they want to know the sex of their baby in advance.

Other parents prefer to wait till the birth to find out. They may feel it is more appropriate or special this way, or may have had a bad experience with an incorrect ultrasound read in the past, and do not want to give it another go and get the wrong gender colors.

The reason why you choose to know your baby’s gender in advance or wait till the birth is less important than you being happy with whatever it is you have decided. Remember, if you chose not to know, you can change your mind later, but if you chose to find out ahead of time, you can not turn back the wheel.

If you are still on the fence, ask yourself if you are the curious type. Can you wait till the birth to find out or do you just ‘have to know already’? Do you wish to prepare for your baby in advance and are gender specific clothing and baby room décor important to you? Even if the answer is yes and yes, you can always get neutral basics and add to them after the birth.

Benefits of finding out:
• Some women say they feel a deeper bond with the baby once they know the sex and can imagine holding their little boy or girl.
• It may be easier to prepare an older sibling for the arrival of a new little brother or sister.
• You can start / continue thinking of baby names, looking only at one gender.
• You can pick out a gender-specific nursery theme or baby clothes.

Benefits of waiting:
• You and your family will have a delightful surprise on the day you give birth.
• Your desire to know whether your baby is a boy or a girl might motivate you during the toughest parts of labor.
• You’ll be following in the tradition of your parents, your parents’ parents, etc.
• There will be no mistakes — what you see is what you get!

After 40 weeks (give or take) of carrying and nurturing your baby inside your womb, doctor visits, parenting classes, a baby shower, research and advice, some may think you should be ready for the arrival of your newborn. But how can you be ready to perform a roll you never had any practice in?

Talking to friends and family, taking parenting classes at your hospital, and researching for blogs and books, are all ways to get yourself ready for the arrival of your offspring. But there is nothing like first hand experience, which you will get once your baby arrives. Ready or not, you will find that you deal with what life and your newly expanded family hands you.

So what should you expect when your newborn arrives? The level of emotions you will feel is personal. You may bond with your baby immediately or it may take a little longer. Either way, take into account the temporary ups and downs you may experience if you suffer from baby blues. Feeling overwhelmed, no matter how prepared you may believe you are for this baby, is natural and normal. After all, your life as you know it has changed and you are now a mother.

You can expect little sleep and not very much time for yourself in the beginning. But this will change with time. As your baby grows, he will learn to sleep through the night and you will feel more comfortable to take some time for yourself.

If you plan to breastfeed, you may experience an adjustment period where your body will learn how much milk to produce for the needs of your newborn. Until that happens, you may be leaking (so get pads for your nursing bras). Also you may experience engorgement, nipple pain and other discomforts that will disappear with time and experience. While you are still in the hospital, ask to see a lactation consultant to learn about breast feeding tips and make sure your baby latches on correctly.

Having a baby is demanding, can be exhausting, sometimes nerve wracking and above all, a big responsibility. But at the end of the day, raising your newborn is the most rewarding job you can have. You will melt when your baby starts to smile and find tremendous joy seeing him accomplish milestones and learn new things.

Give it time. You will feel more comfortable in your new roll with experience, and your baby’s growth and development will be an indicator to the fabulous job you are doing.

While breast milk is a natural way to feed your newborn, not all Moms can or choose to do so. There may be various reasons why you cannot or choose not to breast feed your baby. But no matter what the reason is, you will have to choose a supplement.

There are many choices in the market today. Do not give your baby cow milk or other milks that adults ingest before one year of age. The best option for infants is baby formula. When selecting, decide what form best fits you, whether it is ready-made, concentrate, or powder. You may choose to go organic, or if your baby is colicky or is lactose intolerant, you may need to switch to a more specific formula.

Feed by demand but don’t force feed. This means to feed when your baby when he is hungry and when he is done, do not force him to finish the bottle. Newborns usually eat 2-4 oz every two to three hours in the first 6-8 weeks. This depends on the baby’s weight, weight gain and appetite. Consult your doctor if you think your baby is not getting enough food.

Signs that your baby is hungry include a variety of mouth movements, sucking on their hand or blanket, etc. and crying.

To heat Formula, do not use the microwave. It warms liquids unevenly and may burn your baby’s mouth if too hot. Soak the bottle of Formula in hot water for several minutes or hold under the faucet. Test the temperature on the inside your wrist before giving the bottle to your baby. Your baby may also like it cold or at room temperature.

Make sure to check the expiration on the Formula container and notate the date of when the container was opened. Once opened, its life time is shortened dramatically. Read the label on the container to determine how long it will be good for. Do not save any unfinished bottle of formula.

Never dilute the formula to get more feedings out of it. Adding even just a little bit of water can be dangerous and even fatal. When diluting baby formula, the nutrients and electrolytes in it are weakened and other than affecting the baby’s nutritional balance, it can cause seizers and brain problems.

As for anything else, if you have any questions or concerns, contact your baby’s pediatrician for assistance and information.

Deciding how and when to share the news of your pregnancy is a big deal. Once you discover you are pregnant, you will find it hard to keep the news to yourself even if you decided not to announce it yet. This is an exciting time in your life as your pregnancy becomes your top priority.

“Why wait…when to tell, how to tell and who to tell first”, are all things you and your partner want to decide about together. There are different reasons to share or keep the news private in the beginning. Some people just want to take a minute and enjoy this exciting time with each other, or digest the big change ahead before announcing the news to the world (family, friends, employers, etc.). Some couples choose to keep the pregnancy private until the end of the first trimester for fear of miscarriage, and avoid the hassle of re-informing those of the sad news. Some wait for signs of pregnancy such as a growing belly.

Others may rush to tell right away to enjoy family and friends’ support dealing with this thrilling, yet overwhelming news. Sharing the news early can also lead to getting advice throughout the pregnancy right from the start, as well as help choosing between an OBGYN and a midwife, finding a good book about pregnancy and other resources such as possible methods of childbirth, and more.

Sharing with your employer is another thing to consider, depending on your job description. If you work with hazardous materials you may need to share the news with your employer right away so you can be stationed appropriately. Also if you are a flight attendant, you may need to share your news early, so you can be assigned a land post.

Regardless of when you choose to share the news, make sure you are content with your decision, and change it if need be. Remember once your news is made public, you cannot reverse it and it may spread faster than you anticipated.

Preterm labor and birth can be scary for a variety of reasons. First and probably the most obvious, is the realization that your baby needs additional support to survive, and Instead of going home to celebrate with family and friends, you are still very much attached to the hospital if your baby is in NICU.  This is probably the last thing you thought you might have to contend with – leaving your newborn, whom you may have not even had a chance to hold yet, in an incubator in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)..

While you understand the importance of care your child is receiving in the hospital, it would have been much simpler and exciting to take your child home with you. Bonding is just so much easier with physical touch, and you may not have even touched your baby, let alone hold him/her.

It can be frustrating and scary when faced with this scenario, and many parents find it hard to deal with leaving their newborn at the NICU. This time, already so saturated with emotions, may be confusing and scary, but it important for parents with babies in the NICU to do their best to start bonding right away, despite the challenges and difficulties.

Bonding with your baby in the NICU requires patience and strength. Start with being there for your newborn. His/her development is influenced from your care tremendously. Even with no touch, you can give your child love. Talk to him, or read his stories. Your voice and smell, and if possible the touch of your hand on his head, can comfort you both.

If you planed to breastfeed, there is no need to change your plans. Start pumping right away and give your milk to the nurses to give to your baby. This way your milk supply will not diminish due to it not being used, and your baby will have the benefit of mother’s milk.  Breastmilk is important for his immune system and development. If your preemie can not yet eat (which is common in smaller preemies), pump and store your milk.

While parenting in the NICU is difficult and poses challenges, it is time well spent for both you and your little one. Your presence and care may very well help shorten his stay in the hospital, and when you bring your baby home you will already have a strong relationship and the adjustment will be made smoother.