You may think this would be easier, after all, you have been through it before and know all there is to know. Well, that’s not quite right. You may be surprised to find out that your second pregnancy will be different than your first and that you still have new experiences coming your way.

First you should recognize that each pregnancy is unique, even for the same woman; just like every child is unique and has his own personality, within the same family. Each fetus grows at his own pace and starts to develop his own persona from within. This may mean that one pregnancy will feel more active, kicking-wise, than the other and/or your body will respond differently.

The second time around you may find that you are more tired. Don’t forget that during your first pregnancy you had no one, but yourself to care for. Remember that time when you could rest as much as you wanted?  No such luck this time… you are now a mother and your little one(s) depends on you. Running after your child(ren) can be exhausting, especially now that you are pregnant.

It seems that since your body has already experienced changing and adjusting, to accommodate for a pregnancy, it would know what to do, but it can still surprise you with each new pregnancy. It really depends on how fit you were going into each pregnancy, how much time passed between pregnancies and if you are having multiples or experiencing a high risk pregnancy. Any difference in the circumstances can affect how your body will handle it this time around.

Try to set aside time to rest, our body needs it. Make sure you eat right, both you and your baby’s development depends on it. Personal time is important for you to recharge, being a mother and being pregnant only means it is harder to make the time, but not that it is no longer needed.

Sometimes after you find out you are pregnant, possibility of having twins may have crossed your mind. It usually takes 8-10 weeks before you find out if your nurse hears one or more heartbeats at your first ultrasound.

In the mean time you are left to wonder. So what are your chances?  This usually depends on the biological history of twins in your family.  So if you are a twin, already have one set of multiples or have twin relatives, your chances of having twins are higher. Also if you have undergone fertility treatments, you have a 10% chance of having multiples.

Possible signs that you could be carrying more than one baby include:

Uterus measurements are large for dates.

Excess weight gain.

Amplified pregnancy symptoms including severe morning sickness, extreme fatigue or a strong metallic taste in your mouth.

An AFP blood test result that is inconsistent with a singleton pregnancy.

The above signs may or may not mean you are carrying multiples. Also, you may have no unusual symptoms at all, even if you are carrying more than one baby. Though it is not the perfect solution, waiting for your first ultrasound and hearing from you OBGYN is the best way to know for sure how many babies you are expecting. So try to be patient and whatever is in your future will be revealed soon enough.

Young babies usually sleep in time spans of 2-4 hours at a time, but yet we use the term ‘slept like a baby’ to indicate we have slept well. Oh the irony.

Newborns sleep 14-18 hours a day during their first week of life. In the first month after that, they typically sleep 12 to 16 hours a day. Sounds great, right? You will have time to adjust to your new roll, sleep, and enjoy your baby. Well, not quite. While newborns do need many hours of sleep per day, most babies don’t stay asleep for more than two to four hours at a time, day or night, during the first few weeks of life.

This means plenty of very irregular sleep for your baby, and a tiring new schedule for you (no one said raising kids was easy.. here is your first introduction..). You may find that there is little difference between night and day. Many babies even have a harder time relaxing after night fall, and may be more colicky at night. Feedings are regularly scheduled every 3-4 hours, which means you don’t get much continuous sleep either.

While not always doable, it is recommended to try and sleep when your baby sleeps. Yes, there are other chores you may need / want to accomplish while your baby is asleep, but if you can get help with those, or postpone them to another time (like tomorrow), you will thank yourself! Once rested, you will surely have more energy, and can get more done faster.. It is amazing what a little sleep can do…

When we were about eight months pregnant, we met friends (a couple with two children) for dinner. We were going to talk about babies, and what we need to have ready before our daughter is born, what to purchase, what to expect, etc. Instead, we dove into a conversation about politics and almost completely neglected the baby topic, which was no big deal since we were having so much fun.

Somehow during desert, we got back on topic long enough to hear one statement that has stayed with me since: “Daddy is always three months behind”. That is, Daddy is three month behind Mommy in understanding and accepting the major changes that are happening in a couple’s life when they are expecting a baby.

Not to say that this statement is absolute, but it made sense to some degree for us, and in different ways to other (but of course not all) couples.

It is natural for the Mom-to-be to realize the changes to come during her pregnancy, for she is carrying the baby for the duration of the pregnancy and by that possibly even developing a connection with her unborn baby. For Dad-to-be, it could be harder to connect or even to comprehend that a big change is to come. While this difference between man and woman is natural, it does not have to be this way.

It all starts from the womb

You can help your partner in crime, the “Soon to be a Daddy”  have a better grasp on the new life growing inside you, and the changes to come by asking him to join you at the Doctor’s office on your monthly prenatal visits. When the baby is big enough for you to feel kicks, you can have Daddy put his hand on your belly so he can feel the baby kicking as well.

You can look for baby names together, decide on a theme for the baby’s room and prepare a list of things you will need once the baby is born. You can also talk about your birth plan and put together a bag for the hospital in preparation for the big day.

And then you become a parent

The first three months of most babies’ lives revolve around sleeping and eating. Both rocking your newborn to sleep and feeding him are wonderful opportunities for Daddy to bond with the baby. If you are nursing, you can pump and let your partner feed.

As your baby grows, there will be many activities and opportunities for each of you to bond with him, each in your own way. With time, family activities and play, the three months delay will disappear.

In a world where having children is a joy and excitement and anxious anticipation of what is to come fills our conversations – it’s amazing how quiet everyone gets once these little blessings arrive into our lives.  Let’s be honest, parenting is hard!  However, what often makes it harder is that few parents will admit or even talk about the difficulties of parenting. Sometimes I wonder if people are living in denial, or if they are just hiding under a thick blanket of ‘keeping appearances’ up for the surrounding world.  Regardless, of why so many shy away from admitting that parenting hard – it is, and remains the world’s most difficult and challenging job!  It will test your patience, ability to multi-task, ability to get anything truly done in a day, and it will force you to operate and function with only minimal sleep.  Somehow when we are planning for our babies to arrive we find it hard to imagine any difficulties or challenges.  Even while pregnant, you may think “I want 3 kids”, and plan them to be two years apart – your plan will be the most logical thing to you, and seemingly make sense until your first baby arrives.  Then reality sets in..

The reality of motherhood is that it is far from being logical let alone scheduled. Life takes a new turn once your little one arrives, and for the most part takes control over your daily routine. Especially if you choose to be a stay at home Mom (but also if you don’t), and try to put order in the chaos that is now your life (newborns often mix up their days and nights, and if you are lucky, they will feed every 3 hours on average). It will take months (if not years) till your schedule will return to.. hummmm, your hands.

Children are a joy – nonetheless, parenting is challenging and difficult.  People don’t tell you that being a new parent equals little to no sleep for months, dealing with new experiences (even with your second or third child; each baby is unique in its temper and needs), and having to keep going, providing, and many times having to keep a job on top of everything at home.

The irony is we can’t truly know what we do not know, nor can we understand experiences we have never had – yet it is really important to know that the challenges that lie ahead will test you in ways you’ve never been tested before.  However, do not spend too much time worrying over the future and try to enjoy the pregnancy with all its challenges and expect for the best after. Meeting your new baby is an amazing experience. Learning how to care for your newborn, yourself and your marriage is not easy, but give yourself a chance, with time, it DOES get easier. And if you need help, support or advice, you can always speak to family, your baby’s pediatrician, friends or other professionals.

Enjoy every minute, because even if you are sleep deprived and think you are miserable, you’ll be surprised at how fast this stage is gone and they grow. Enjoy your baby’s milestones that make you a proud mother such as the first time they smile, laugh, turn, crawl, etc. Like many things in life, the little things are what make it all worth it.

Amazingly enough, we forget how difficult it was and then have another…

A Few Words About Cesarean Section

A cesarean section is a surgical operation in which the mother’s abdomen and uterus are cut to allow the baby or babies to be taken out into the world. After the baby is out, the placenta will be removed and the incision is sewn shut. This operation was originally designed to be performed only if its benefits are grater than the risks.

More often than not, the medical system may prefer a cesarean section on a vaginal birth. The modern machinery and knowledge provides a safe option, which can be a used as a safe solution to any question mark or issue, as minor as it may be, that may arise before the delivery. This fact rises the percentage of cesareans, at times with no real reason.

Elective Cesarean Section

When a cesarean is planned in advanced (mostly for no medical reason such as risk to the mother or baby), it is called an elective cesarean, which means it is done out of choice. In an elective cesarean, the date is selected / scheduled in advanced by the doctor and there is no dependency in the start of contractions or any other factor.

Today, many women prefer to have an elective, pre scheduled and contraction free cesarean section operation even if there is no medical problem requiring one. Remember, the operation is in fact an operation, with risk of complications and a long recovery. At the same time, the objective for each birth is to deliver a healthy baby while keeping the mother in good health (physically and mentally), so if the end result is just that, an operation can count as a valid means.

Emergency Operation

At times, a complication in the process of a delivery that has started vaginally may force the medical staff to perform an emergency operation. If the emergency c-section is performed due to a fetus distress, you will most likely not have the time to understand exactly what happened and be a part of the decision making. If there is time, ask to take part in the decision making, and understand why the doctors think it is best to proceed this way.  Later, after the delivery, you will feel better knowing you took part in the decision making.

Father presence during the C-Section

In some hospitals the father is allowed to be present in the room for a cesarean section. Unfortunately, he will not be allowed in the room for an emergency operation.

Elective Cesarean Section Advantages

• Protects the pelvic floor, which prevents future problems such as uncontrolled urine leak, uncontrolled gas and the likes.
• Prevents fetus distress during delivery in case of an emergency cesarean.
• Prevents risks of forceps delivery to the baby and mother
• Minimize uncertainties – date, time, length of operation, are all known in advanced to the women & the medical staff, and allow them to prepare for it.
• Eliminates the possibility of passing the 40^th week with no delivery, which may introduce complications.

Elective Cesarean Section Disadvantages

• Chance of infection after the operation
• There is no delivery experience.