Not too long ago, men used to sit at home or the hospital’s waiting area while their life partner was pushing and sweating with only the medical staff at her side for the delivery of their baby. Today, men are not only in the delivery room with the mother to be, but they can even choose to cut the umbilical cord if they so wish.

Things have certainly changed quit a bit over time, but there are still couples who choose not to include the dad in the delivery room. The fact that men are now allowed in the delivery room, does not mean they have to attend. This is a decision made between the couple. When you prepare your birth plan think of what you want and need, and decide who should be present during the delivery.

Regardless of which way you voted, dad’s role will start with the first contraction, while you are still at home (or elsewhere…). This is the time for dad to be a distraction from the contractions and get you two organized for the hospital.

A father to be’s role in the delivery room these days can take on different forms depending on what the mother to be wants and needs. If you have gone to a birth preparation class together, dad can help with breathing techniques and count, massage, hold mom’s hand, and provide encouragement and support.

“Having a baby together is an intense, life-changing experience that most couples want to experience together. The father can be an immensely reassuring presence for the mother” says Patrick O’Brien, a consultant from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

If you choose this as your route, the best thing you can do is take a class together, talk to each other about your expectations and/or speak to friends or family who have experienced a delivery with dad present in the delivery room about their experience. This can be a very special experience, and talking about what you want, need or even expect of each other before hand, can be a tremendous help in putting both mom and dad at ease.