In the United States, Canada, and a growing list of other countries, a baby shower is an event to celebrate the expected birth of a new baby by presenting gifts to the parents to be at a party. Traditionally, a baby shower is held only for the mother-to-be, and is attended by women only. This is because the original intent was for women to share wisdom and lessons on the art of becoming a mother.

Traditionally, baby showers were given only for the family’s first child, but over time, it has become more common to hold them for subsequent children as well.

Deciding whether you should have a baby shower is personal as well as cultural. Some cultures celebrate the birth of a child only after the delivery for various reasons such as religion, belief and/or superstition. Others may choose not to have a shower due to a previous miscarriage or other unfortunate experiences.

Many moms to be and their family and friends see the baby shower as a celebration of the new life coming to the world. It is also a great excuse to get everyone together…

Whatever you choose for yourself and your baby, weather you have a shower or not, if it is a small gathering or an elaborate event, get someone to either throw it for you (you have enough on your plate with your baby coming) or help!

Our baby girl is a year old! What a milestone!

It is fascinating how the perception of time changes when you become a parent. The pregnancy, although ‘only’ nine months long, seemed like the longest period of time. Time stubbornly slowed down with the excitement to meet our baby. But looking back now, a year after the delivery – the fears of the unknown, getting ready for motherhood, the anticipation and all the WAITTING – they are almost like a faint memory.

So much has changed in the past year. Our little baby grew to be a happy, curious, adventurous and very energetic toddler. The transformation from an infant a baby girl went hand in hand with our own development from a couple who happens to have a baby, to parents.

It was amazing to watch her development. From a helpless infant who needed our help with any and every little thing, she has grown to be an independent little lady (ok, tom boy may be more like it..). It is so hard to imagine these changes that you just have to be present to experience them, and every moment (first real smile, the first time she turned, crawled, walked, first tooth, first sounds, first anything) is just so precious.

Happy First Birthday!

Breastfeeding is the natural way to feed babies. Breast milk is designed to provide a baby with all its needs right from the start. Right after birth and for the first 3-5 days after, your body produces colostrum, which is a thick yellow fluid, rich in protein, low in fat, and high in carbohydrate, and antibodies to help keep your baby healthy. Within the first week after birth, your milk will come in, replacing the colostrum, and it will change in content with your baby’s growth.

Creating a solid basis for breastfeeding is important for a good mutual nursing experience for both you and your baby. The key to breastfeeding successfully is a proper latch. When there is a good latch, the baby will get the milk or colostrums needed to grow and get stronger, while simultaneously stimulating your body to produce more milk.

A poor latch can lead to a malnourished and frustrated baby, which in turn may discourage Mom. More so, a poor latch can cause the Mother nipple pain – if not cracking and bleeding. If the baby does not get milk, you may experience engorgement, which is painful and will make it even harder for your baby to breastfeed.

A good nursing position is important in achieving a proper latch. You can start practicing right in the delivery room, minutes after your baby was born. Skin to skin contact is important, and tummy to tummy positioning with easy access to the breast is crucial. If you have doubt or any questions, you should ask to see a lactation consultant in the hospital.

Where there is demand, there is milk. If you wait for your milk to come in before you start breastfeeding, you will miss out on the breastfeeding experience. Almost all mothers can breastfeed, but you have to stimulate your body to do so. All you need to do is allow your baby to do what is natural, for your body to get the signal. It is that simple.

You’ve had your first baby, and you and your partner have decided you are ready to expand the family once again. While that is an exciting decision, you now have a little one to factor into these types of decision makings.

Yes, it is YOUR decision, but taking a minute to consider how it will affect your little one may go a long way. That is not to say that you should go and consult your first born what he/she thinks of the possibility of becoming an older brother/sister, but think of how he/she will react to such news (based on personality), will he take well to sharing your attention, how will he/she treat the new baby, what will be a good time to share the news, etc.

Is your little one ready to be an older brother or sister? Is there really a way to know? Well, not really. Only time will tell. What you CAN do is prepare the whole family for this new adventure.

This can be a wonderful and exciting time for all of you. After you tell your little one the news, you can go to a prenatal visit together so your firstborn can ‘meet’ the new baby. You can practice holding a doll together, take sibling preparation class at the hospital, and talk about ‘your little brother/sister’ and how things may change, what they can do together, etc.

You may need to help your firstborn to adjust to the newly expanded family. If you have family or friends near by, use them for help. Continue whatever routine your eldest already have (daycare for example), and make him/her feel a part of the joy your family is graced with.

Breastfeeding is a very personal and intimate activity between you and your baby, and deciding to wean your baby, and when can (but doesn’t have to) be a bit tricky, if not painful process for the both of you.

It is really up to you to decide when is a good time to quit ‘the boob’, or when you have just had enough (which is a normal  – do not beat yourself up. You have given your baby a lot already just giving him colostrum). There is no right or wrong (or magic) age for weaning, so go with your gut feeling. Of course you want to make sure your baby has supplements (formula or solids, depending on both age and weather he has teethes). You can try those before or during the time you choose to wean your baby.

It is recommended to wean gradually, and not just stop breastfeeding altogether one day. The later way will certainly be more painful for the both of you. It can potentially be traumatic for your baby, and you will be facing engorgement and may risk getting mastitis (a breast infection). Instead, start by skipping a feeding, and replace it with formula or solids. This way your body will learn to gradually produce less milk.

Don’t be discouraged if your baby denies other foods, but try other options. For example, if your baby refuses formula, try warming it up a bit. Breast milk is at body temperature, formula refusal may be due to too many changes (both in taste, smell and temperature).

Some babies wean themselves when they are ready (even if you may not be), which saves you from having to do it for them. But if you are ready before your baby is, start slowly and together you will reach the goal!

In the beginning, there were two…

Chronologically, your partner was there first. He was in the center of your attention, your other half, the one you chose to live your life with. Together you created a family. You conceived, the two of you were excited throughout the pregnancy and waited to meet your baby, who will expand your description from a couple to a family.

Then your baby was born – small, new to the world and helpless without you. The three of you became a family, and at the same time, you lost your life as a couple. Or did you? Many couples experience a dramatic change in their relationship after their first baby is born. For most, the changes result in nothing more than period of adjustment; others may experience permanent and dramatic changes.

It is common to experience changes in the dynamics of your family when a baby is added to the picture. With all the excitement of bringing home a new baby, adjusting to the baby’s schedule, which is now your new schedule, lack of sleep and hormones, etc. – it can be overwhelming and your relationship and intimacy with your partner will suffer, or at least take the back seat for a while.

The good news is that this can be temporary. It is all up to the two of you. So who comes first for you? Your baby or your partner?

The answer is very personal. Different people have different priorities and needs. Your baby is helpless in its first year of life, and therefore will actually NEED more of your attention, care and love. Your husband/partner, while he can (potentially) take care of himself, still needs your love and affection even after your baby is born as well. Try and find the balance that works for you and your family. Feelings of neglect are not something you want in your newly expended household.

If you plan to breastfeed, you should be prepared to face a lot of challenges. Although you may already be concerned about the actual act of breastfeeding and weather or not it will hurt – there are a few other issues awaiting your discovery. Once you will have your baby, get some breastfeeding experience under your belt, and are finally ready to take your baby out in public – you may encounter new issues that you may have not thought of yet.

The first time you will have to nurse in public may be a bit challenging. First, it is a very private and personal thing that it isn’t always the most comfortable for brand new moms. Your best bet is to try and find a semi-private area of the park / a booth at the restaurant (rather than table), and/or a changing room at a store.

After a couple times you will find the best places to nurse and what clothing may work best for nursing out in public (a nursing top or apron) and you will learn quickly whether or not you are even feel comfortable with the whole experience of nursing in public. If you discover that it’s too uncomfortable for you -  you can always pump and bring a bottle with you when you are out of the comfort of your own home.

The one thing you can not control, if you choose to breastfeed in public, are people’s reactions – so be prepared for anything. Some moms may nod at you, as if you shared something in common, some people will stare with disapproval or make a comment or even ask you to go somewhere else. You should know your breastfeeding rights, so you don’t feel threatened. Even tough breastfeeding in public is legal in the United States, not everyone knows it, which may lead to complaints. If you experience incidents of discrimination when breastfeeding in public or have problems at the work place, you can report it to first right.

‘How long are you planning to breastfeed?’ is a very common question people tend to ask during this stage of your life. As if you can predict if nursing will work out for you as well as for your newborn, or somehow you have foresight as to how long your body will produce milk.  What is more challenging is when the questions are geared towards judgment of your choices in breastfeeding. There will be someone who will judge you for nursing for too long, explaining to psychological implications of the act, while at the same time, another will judge you for the exact opposite, grilling you for not providing those very needed neutrinos for long enough.

You may think this is an exaggeration. Hopefully in your case it will be, and you will not experience any of these or other unpleasant incidents. But just in case, be aware, maybe even prepared with an answer, and don’t take anything to heart. You are doing the best for your baby, whatever your choice is.

The saying “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers” could not be any closer to the truth. Think of it for a moment.  Once you have your first baby, it will become more evident to you how needed you are (and how much can be done in not to much time…).

At home, even before the baby, you most likely did (or shared with your spouse) the household chores. Cleaning the house, washing & folding laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning again, etc. Once you become a mother, your ‘skills’ are needed even more, and by more people. The obvious new roll you take on is the one of a mother. Your baby needs you for everything, especially in the first six months. Once your newborn can crawl, sit and entertain him/herself, you will still be needed, but will have more freedom to multi task as you may have done before.

The life you had before, may seem to have vaporized in front of your eyes, but one thing that hasn’t changed, is how much your spouse needs you now. Having a baby means changing the rules of the game completely, but at the same time it is important to continuously work on your romantic relationship. It is very common for new Dads to be jealous of the attention their newborns are getting from Mom. Attention that used to be his. Keep this in mind and talk to your spouse. Together you can divide the work load at home and find time to be together just the two of you.

After the birth you’ll find that you are needed at work more than you may want to be (at least in the beginning). After you get used to working, you’ll even find the positive sides of having time apart from your baby. Depending on your arrangement at work, you will be kept busy during the day.. and later kept busy at home too.

The many hats you wear keep you busy, and a helpful and understanding family will help you find the balance to tackle it all as well as find a minute to rest. If you can, accept any help offered to you, especially right after the delivery and in the first three months. Do not be too hard on yourself if you can’t get it all done as fast as you did before or beat yourself up if need help, embrace the new situation and ask for help when you need it.

It may not look like it in the beginning, but it DOES get easier.

Young babies usually sleep in time spans of 2-4 hours at a time, but yet we use the term ‘slept like a baby’ to indicate we have slept well. Oh the irony.

Newborns sleep 14-18 hours a day during their first week of life. In the first month after that, they typically sleep 12 to 16 hours a day. Sounds great, right? You will have time to adjust to your new roll, sleep, and enjoy your baby. Well, not quite. While newborns do need many hours of sleep per day, most babies don’t stay asleep for more than two to four hours at a time, day or night, during the first few weeks of life.

This means plenty of very irregular sleep for your baby, and a tiring new schedule for you (no one said raising kids was easy.. here is your first introduction..). You may find that there is little difference between night and day. Many babies even have a harder time relaxing after night fall, and may be more colicky at night. Feedings are regularly scheduled every 3-4 hours, which means you don’t get much continuous sleep either.

While not always doable, it is recommended to try and sleep when your baby sleeps. Yes, there are other chores you may need / want to accomplish while your baby is asleep, but if you can get help with those, or postpone them to another time (like tomorrow), you will thank yourself! Once rested, you will surely have more energy, and can get more done faster.. It is amazing what a little sleep can do…

For baby

For the first time mom it can be a challenge to start thinking about and creating your baby registry list. If you have the opportunity – it is a good idea to take your mother or another experienced mother with you on your first stroll through the baby stores.

The major stores have their own check lists to hand out, but you do not necessarily need everything on them. Pick and choose, ask veteran moms for advice, and remember you can always go back after your baby is here if you realize you forgot something.

Here are some basics

• Burp cloths. Get plenty to minimize your laundry loads.
• 1 or 2 pacifiers, if you choose to use them get different kinds to try out and make sure they are for 0 months
• 4 bottles and nipples. Make sure they are for 0 months
• 2 to 3 hooded towels to swaddle baby after bath
• A “take-me-home” outfit. Look for a set that’s cute for photos, but practical for the weather as well as easy to put on (if this is your first time dressing your baby, you don’t want to make it more complicated than it has to be)
• 6 to 8 onesies, half short sleeve and half long sleeve. Select a kind that will be easy to pull over baby’s head.
• 5 pairs of pants
• 6 to 8 sleepers (aka coveralls) with built-in footies, or rompers if it’s spring or summer
• 5 to 6 sleeping gowns, which snap, zip (recommended), or cinch closed at the bottom, making late-night diaper changes easy
• 1 to 2 pairs of mittens (for winter babies)
• 6 pairs of booties or socks
• Sleep sac, for when baby outgrows the swaddle or sleep gowns, but is still too young for a blanket in the crib.
• 4 to 6 bibs. At least two should be waterproof. Once baby starts solids, you’ll need something you can just hose off.
• 4 receiving blankets.

Baby care

• Diapers. Choose weather you are going with re-usable or disposable route, and stock up.
• Disposable wipes. Always have a few packets on hand — this is not an item you want to run out of.
• Diaper rash cream
• Bottle brush
• 2 Thermometers. One to label rectal, another for use under the arm
• Nasal bulb syringe for clearing stuffy noses (provided by some hospitals after delivery)
• Baby nail clipper
• Alcohol swabs and bandages
• Baby shampoo and cleanser

Furniture +

• Crib
• Portable crib, commonly known as a Pack ‘n Play, for when you visit the grandparents.
• Infant bath tub or seat with a newborn “sling”
• Changing table with pad (you can also covert an existing dresser by topping with a pad)
• Rocking chair (nice to have, but not a must)
• Stroller: Baby won’t sit up for a few months, so you’ll need a Snap ‘n Go, a travel system or a model in which baby can fully recline.
• Swing or bouncy seat. Can give you a few peaceful hands free moments.
• Activity mat /  baby gym
• Mobile for the crib: Think music, lights and movement. Preferably with remote control
• Crib bumper
• 2 to 3 fitted crib sheets
• 2 waterproof mattress pads (unless you have a waterproof matterss)
• 2 or 3 changing pad covers
• A rear-facing infant car seat with base. If you have two cars, consider getting a second base.
• Baby carrier and/or sling
• Diaper genie: Choose one that you can operate with one hand, one that uses regular garbage bags, and has an odor control system.
• Baby monitor

Don’t forget yourself

While excitement levels are high and you only have eyes for baby items, you should plan ahead and get a few important items for yourself. Better being ready than having to run to the store (or send hubby only to have him go back and exchange it to the right size…) with…

• Nursing bras and pads (there are reusable or paper pads to choose from)
• Nursing covers for public nursing
• Nursing cloths
• Breastfeeding pillow and cover
• Breast pump. If you’re going back to work, get a \ fancy automatic double pump. You will not regret it!
• Lanolin lotion for sore nipples (provided by some hospitals after delivery)
• Breast milk freezing bags