One of your first decisions as a parent is what to name your child. Even though other family members (such as your parents, grandparents or in-laws) may want to help you make this decision (or make it for you), it is yours to make. Remember that.

Naming your baby can be easy, if you or your spouse have a name you always liked and both agree on. Though for most it is a bit more challenging to decide on the perfect name. If you are one of those couples who have a harder time coming up with or agreeing on a name, take a deep breath and know you are not alone.

For start, make a point not to fight over naming your baby. It should be an exciting thing you get to do together. The most important part of choosing a name is finding one that you both agree on. Others’ thoughts on the matter are not as important. Yes, it will be great if everyone in your family will LOVE the name you picked, but let’s face it, it will likely not be the case, and really, after your baby is born all that matters is they will love your child (which they will regardless of what you named him).

So how do you go about choosing your baby’s name?

If you both have no ideas, names you have always liked, etc. you can always go over name lists in books or online and/or ask friends and family for ideas/advice. It is not a bad idea to start a list of names you like, and start narrowing it down together. If you are really lost, you can have a naming party and get ideas from family and friends. You can also pick a loved relative’s name. this way you will always have a positive association with the name.

If you are looking for names yourselves, first discuss what type of names you like, if there is one. You may want a biblical name, one with a meaning, a popular name or a unique one. Narrowing down the type of name you are looking for, will help you start your name search.

Even if you have a name, it is always best to see your child before the final decision, to see if she really is a Deborah, for example. You may surprise yourself after seeing your baby for the first time with a name you have not even considered before.

If you don’t have a name picked, you may get that spark of inspiration and decisiveness once you see your baby.

If you have a name, or a list of them, try using them out laud to see which clicks for you. Refer to your unborn child as Daniel for a day, then try Henry. See which name sits better with you and your spouse. Remember, you should both agree on the name, or at least not hate it…

Remember, it is your decision, don’t let others sway you in a direction you are not happy with. Close your eye and let your mind go. You will eventually find that perfect name you are looking for!

At every stage of our life we are consumed with what stands in front of us; the dreams, the reality, and goals. But rarely do we stop to take a look at what has changed, take a moment to appreciate it, think about our next step. Not the one we need to take, but the one we WANT to.

When you were single, life revolved around you. Your inner desires and goal and maybe the pursuit after a life partner. It was nice not to have to tell anyone where you are going and when you plan to return. There was no one there to tell you what you can or cannot do, and no one to worry about your whereabouts.

Then you meet you other half, get married, settle down. Suddenly you start feeling comfortable and realize that life was never really meant to live alone. The pursuit after a life partner you may have not realized you were in, is over, and a new era begins. Life is good.

The love nest you have built with your life partner may start feeling a little empty, and talking of expending your life as a couple into a family seems right.

When you become a parent you suddenly forget about the life that was before. When you meet expecting parents you tell them to take advantage of the time they have left just as a couple, sleep as much as they can (well, if you are talking to the expecting mom, she probably can’t really enjoy sleeping in much because of all the discomforts of pregnancy, but you may not even remember that…), and do all those things you cannot remember the last time you did because of your tight schedule, that doesn’t belong to you anyhow.

At the same time, you do not forget to share the joy of being a parent and the amazing feeling of fulfillment over your child making any little accomplishment no one can understand unless there are a parent themselves.

Every stage of life has its own uniqueness, and we usually appreciate it fully only when we have moved to the next step. Try to change that…

Regardless of whether or not you have (or are in the process of developing) a thriving carrier, after childbirth, you may find it hard to return to work and leave your little one in the caring hands of another family member, a nanny or the caregiver at a childcare.

While that is a normal feeling to have and a common inner struggle a new mom goes through, deciding to give into these feelings and deciding to become a stay at home mom is not for everyone.

First you want to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if you really truly can stay home and not return to your job. While you may miss your child if/when you return to work, it is also possible you will miss your job, doing other things that do not involve baby crying and diaper changing. Not every woman by definition wants/chooses to be with her child(ren) all the time. There is nothing wrong with being a carrier woman, wanting to be around adults for a portion of the day, and do thing to promote yourself. Being a Mom does not have cancel out other parts of your life if you don’t want it to.

If you decided your carrier can be on hold for sometime so you can devote yourself to your newborn, ask yourself if you would like to return to your job one day, and whether your employer will potentially take you back if you leave now to be a stay at home mom.

Before you do anything, calculate your expenses and see if you can afford to stay home with your child(ren). Many woman find that most or a good portion of their paycheck goes to the nanny or daycare, and if you prefer to stay with your baby, maybe you should.

Don’t make decisions without your spouse and really think about the implications and consequences.

Becoming a parent changes you dramatically. Whether you realize it right away or wake up one day with the new understanding that the old you is no more, it certainly happens. That is not to say that your personality changes, (though you may think it does with dramatic changes in hormone levels in your body right after the delivery) but your priorities re-organize, your schedule changes and your daily activities revolve around new things.

Some of us realize we became a mom or about to become one the moment we see the positive pregnancy test. Some when we see our belly grow, or feel the baby kick. Some of us need more time to grasp this life changing role, we will be taking on for the rest of our lives.

What made you realize you are a mom? Share your mom realization experience!

You may think this would be easier, after all, you have been through it before and know all there is to know. Well, that’s not quite right. You may be surprised to find out that your second pregnancy will be different than your first and that you still have new experiences coming your way.

First you should recognize that each pregnancy is unique, even for the same woman; just like every child is unique and has his own personality, within the same family. Each fetus grows at his own pace and starts to develop his own persona from within. This may mean that one pregnancy will feel more active, kicking-wise, than the other and/or your body will respond differently.

The second time around you may find that you are more tired. Don’t forget that during your first pregnancy you had no one, but yourself to care for. Remember that time when you could rest as much as you wanted?  No such luck this time… you are now a mother and your little one(s) depends on you. Running after your child(ren) can be exhausting, especially now that you are pregnant.

It seems that since your body has already experienced changing and adjusting, to accommodate for a pregnancy, it would know what to do, but it can still surprise you with each new pregnancy. It really depends on how fit you were going into each pregnancy, how much time passed between pregnancies and if you are having multiples or experiencing a high risk pregnancy. Any difference in the circumstances can affect how your body will handle it this time around.

Try to set aside time to rest, our body needs it. Make sure you eat right, both you and your baby’s development depends on it. Personal time is important for you to recharge, being a mother and being pregnant only means it is harder to make the time, but not that it is no longer needed.

Nine months, or forty weeks as they calculate pregnancy, can seem like a very long time when you are expecting your first child. Excitement levels are high and time passes slower and slower with the added weight and increased inconvenience to your changing body. But nine months are really not that long of a time span for all there is to do in preparation for your newborn.

First time moms can find it overwhelming to deal with it all at the same time, therefore planning ahead and researching in advance can make your life that much more pleasant and stress free after your baby is born.

What is there to research and plan for? Here are a few things you may want to think about before you meet your bundle of joy:

• Finding the right Pediatrician for you and your baby can take time. If you have friends with kids, start interviewing them for recommendations. You can also speak to your OBGYN and see if he/she can recommend a good doctor. It is important to find someone you see eye to eye with. After all, they will be caring for your child and be recommending treatments and approaches that affect your child’s health directly.

• Breastfeeding or Formula – Consider your choices and learn about them. It is a personal choice and you are the one who needs to feel confident about it, so don’t let others steer your decision. Learn about the benefits of breastfeeding. Talk to your friends who have breastfed; it will give you an idea if it is for you or not. If it is not, there are other options. In that case, research the different brands and kinds of breast milk supplements that are available to you.

• Some expecting moms spend hours if not days designing their baby’s Nursery. While it is not a must, it is good to know what is out there to make your choice about your baby’s environment. You may choose to co-sleep, in which case, you will not need a crib or bassinet right away. If you plan to breastfeed, you may want to consider purchasing a rocking chair. And the list goes on and on.

• You may decide to wait for the baby shower to see what Clothes + Toys + Accessories you will get before you go out to the store. Or maybe you want to go to the store first and explore the endless designs available and create a registry so you will get exactly what you want.

• Daycare. It is never too early to research daycares if you plan on sending your baby to one. By regulation they are allowed a specific number of babies per teacher, and the good ones fill up faster than you can imagine. Call up the ones you are considering and ask about registration, their schedule (to see that it leaves you enough time to get to and from work), ratio of babies to caregivers and anything that will put you at ease leaving your little one there.

And the list goes on and on.  So, are nine months really that long?

The 40 week (give or take) long journey is done. The birth is behind you, the announcement boy/girl has been made, and the Apgar test has been done. If there were no complications, your baby is in your arms, skin to skin, maybe already learning how to latch on or nursing.

Now that the birthing process is over, you are likely exhausted from the delivery and feeling overwhelmed with emotions of excitement, relief, and love.  However, before you are left to bond with your baby, there are a few things your obstetrician may need to do.

• Your baby may have been delivered, but your placenta needs to come out as well. Your doctor / midwife may ask you if you want to see it.

• If you had an episiotomy or have a tear requiring stitches, your midwife or doctor will stitch up your perineum.

• Your bladder will be checked and you will be asked if you can go to the bathroom.

• If you had an epidural, it will be removed.

• Your midwife or the labor nurse will massage your uterus to help it contract and stop bleeding. This may feel uncomfortable, and you may feel liquid gushing out.

• If you are having difficulties nursing your baby, or haven’t done so yet and wish to, you can ask your midwife or a lactation consultant at the hospital for assistance.

Your baby will also be checked by your doctor / midwife.

• Right after birth, your newborn’s airway will be cleared and gently suctioned with a rubber bulb to remove blood and fluid from the nose and mouth.

• The umbilical cord will be cut.

• The APGAR test will be done one minute after birth and then again at five minutes.

• If you chose to bank your baby’s cord blood, your obstetrician / midwife will clamp or cut the cord and then collect the cord blood.

• He will be dried and covered to keep him warm.

• Your baby will then be laid on your stomach or chest so can bond and/or start nursing.

• The doctor or nurse will examine him to make sure there are no obvious problems that need emergency treatment.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Boy, girl — or big surprise? Should you find out? For some people, it is not at all a question. For others, it may be a bit of a challenge to decide if they want to know the sex of the baby in advance. It is a personal preference and should be left for you and your partner to decide, not decided for you.

Some parents to be want to know the gender as soon as the ultrasound and baby’s position allows the technician to take a peak, if not sooner. These parents may be curious, excited, or have a number of other reasons why they want to know the sex of their baby in advance.

Other parents prefer to wait till the birth to find out. They may feel it is more appropriate or special this way, or may have had a bad experience with an incorrect ultrasound read in the past, and do not want to give it another go and get the wrong gender colors.

The reason why you choose to know your baby’s gender in advance or wait till the birth is less important than you being happy with whatever it is you have decided. Remember, if you chose not to know, you can change your mind later, but if you chose to find out ahead of time, you can not turn back the wheel.

If you are still on the fence, ask yourself if you are the curious type. Can you wait till the birth to find out or do you just ‘have to know already’? Do you wish to prepare for your baby in advance and are gender specific clothing and baby room décor important to you? Even if the answer is yes and yes, you can always get neutral basics and add to them after the birth.

Benefits of finding out:
• Some women say they feel a deeper bond with the baby once they know the sex and can imagine holding their little boy or girl.
• It may be easier to prepare an older sibling for the arrival of a new little brother or sister.
• You can start / continue thinking of baby names, looking only at one gender.
• You can pick out a gender-specific nursery theme or baby clothes.

Benefits of waiting:
• You and your family will have a delightful surprise on the day you give birth.
• Your desire to know whether your baby is a boy or a girl might motivate you during the toughest parts of labor.
• You’ll be following in the tradition of your parents, your parents’ parents, etc.
• There will be no mistakes — what you see is what you get!

For some new moms deciding how long to breastfeed is a non issue, as they are planning to breastfeed for as long as they physically can, or for as long as their little one is interested, while other new moms may be facing a harder time with the concept of breastfeeding and providing their baby with the best possible nutrition.

Even if you plan to breastfeeding for a while, you may be forced to stop for different reasons. Here are a few of those:

You may have plans to be nursing you baby for ‘x’ number of months or years, but your baby has his own thoughts in the matter. Some babies wean themselves at some point, while others have a harder time. If your baby loses interest in the breast, he may be ready to wean himself. It may be harder for you to accept this hint if you had your heart set to nurse for a while longer, but as long as your baby is happy and gets the nutrition he needs from other sources, there is no need to worry.

Some women experience dry spells, especially when returning to work. When you stop breastfeeding on a regular basis your milk supply may decrease. Also the added stress in balancing your new lifestyle, leaving your baby for longer periods of time and other emotional factors including fatigue, all add up and may influence your milk supply.

If you are experiencing a dry spell but wish to continue breastfeeding, don’t give up! There are ways to help your body produce more milk such as fenugreek supplements, mother’s milk tea and more. Speek to a lactation consultant to see what will be best for you.

If you have certain chronic illnesses, you may be required to return to taking medications you could not consume during your pregnancy. These medications may be harmful for your baby and you will be forced to stop breastfeeding. Speak to your doctor before resuming any medication while breastfeeding. There may be supplements to your medication, but not all medications have alternatives that will allow you to keep breastfeeding.

Mastitis is a nasty breast infection that can infect breastfeeding moms. When infected, you will have to cease breastfeeding during treatment, which may lead to weaning altogether even if it is not your intention.

It is important to remember, that no matter what happens, you have done your best and whether you breastfeed your baby for a couple of months or a couple of years, it will not affect your relationship with your child or dictate how good a mother you are. Don’t be hard on yourself and seek medical (or other) help when needed to assure the health of both yourself and your little one.

After 40 weeks (give or take) of carrying and nurturing your baby inside your womb, doctor visits, parenting classes, a baby shower, research and advice, some may think you should be ready for the arrival of your newborn. But how can you be ready to perform a roll you never had any practice in?

Talking to friends and family, taking parenting classes at your hospital, and researching for blogs and books, are all ways to get yourself ready for the arrival of your offspring. But there is nothing like first hand experience, which you will get once your baby arrives. Ready or not, you will find that you deal with what life and your newly expanded family hands you.

So what should you expect when your newborn arrives? The level of emotions you will feel is personal. You may bond with your baby immediately or it may take a little longer. Either way, take into account the temporary ups and downs you may experience if you suffer from baby blues. Feeling overwhelmed, no matter how prepared you may believe you are for this baby, is natural and normal. After all, your life as you know it has changed and you are now a mother.

You can expect little sleep and not very much time for yourself in the beginning. But this will change with time. As your baby grows, he will learn to sleep through the night and you will feel more comfortable to take some time for yourself.

If you plan to breastfeed, you may experience an adjustment period where your body will learn how much milk to produce for the needs of your newborn. Until that happens, you may be leaking (so get pads for your nursing bras). Also you may experience engorgement, nipple pain and other discomforts that will disappear with time and experience. While you are still in the hospital, ask to see a lactation consultant to learn about breast feeding tips and make sure your baby latches on correctly.

Having a baby is demanding, can be exhausting, sometimes nerve wracking and above all, a big responsibility. But at the end of the day, raising your newborn is the most rewarding job you can have. You will melt when your baby starts to smile and find tremendous joy seeing him accomplish milestones and learn new things.

Give it time. You will feel more comfortable in your new roll with experience, and your baby’s growth and development will be an indicator to the fabulous job you are doing.