Some may assume that there is no waiting period needed before resuming sexual activity after a cesarean section because there was no vaginal delivery. Although that may seem logical, it is not the case. The usual waiting period before resuming sex is six weeks after the birth (vaginal or cesarean), or after your postpartum doctor/midwife visit and they have given you the ok.

After any delivery, vaginal or cesarean there is vaginal bleeding from the uterus, which is healing and cleaning itself out from the pregnancy. At your postpartum visit your doctor will check your incisions to see how those are healing, and see if the bleeding has stopped. This is usually when you will get the green light to resume intercourse.

While most of the post partum issues resolve within 6 weeks or so, you may be dealing with still tender incision area. In that case try positions that will not introduce any direct contact with the incision area.

Another thing to take into account is that most new moms, and especially breastfeeding moms (usually for as long as they breastfeed), will experience excessive dryness and may need the help of lubrication gels or creams.

When you do decide to get back in the game, give yourself a break and ask your partner to do the same by taking things slowly. Things may not feel the same at the beginning, and muscles will be or feel stiffer than normal, or more tender. Start slow, and listen to your body. Talk to your partner and share your feeling / pain / etc. Things will return to normal eventually, but forcing things will not speed up your body’s healing process.

Six to eight weeks after you give birth, you will be ready to have sex again. It may take more or less time, depending on your delivery experience, your healing process, bleeding (usually lasts 4-6 weeks after delivery), fatigue from adjusting to your baby’s schedule and the new lifestyle as a Mom.

If you worry about pain during intercourse, you are not alone. Your vagina may be dry (especially if you are breastfeeding) and tender, which can be resolved with the use of lubricants. Start slowly and share your feelings with your partner. Different positions may work better, so try different ones if in pain till you find the right fit. If intercourse is still painful, consult your OB/GYN for other possibilities.

It is normal for your sexual desire to decline after childbirth. Fear of painful intercourse, fatigue from care for a newborn and hormone levels changing, even baby blues, can result in decreased desire to have sex. Share these feelings and concerns with your partner and find other ways maintain intimacy till you are ready to resume sex.

When you are ready to resume sexual activity, make sure you wait to have intercourse after your postpartum checkup. Realize that child birth does affect your sex life. Think for a moment of the delivery process. Remember that? It caused some trauma to your body, and it takes time for it to get back to its normal state. Thing will not be exactly as they were, but close to it. Decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex. Kegel exercises will help restore the pelvic floor muscles.

Whatever issues you may experience in your sex life after giving birth, give yourself time. Things will get better when your body will heal and you will be adjusted to motherhood and your new schedule and lifestyle.

In the beginning, there were two…

Chronologically, your partner was there first. He was in the center of your attention, your other half, the one you chose to live your life with. Together you created a family. You conceived, the two of you were excited throughout the pregnancy and waited to meet your baby, who will expand your description from a couple to a family.

Then your baby was born – small, new to the world and helpless without you. The three of you became a family, and at the same time, you lost your life as a couple. Or did you? Many couples experience a dramatic change in their relationship after their first baby is born. For most, the changes result in nothing more than period of adjustment; others may experience permanent and dramatic changes.

It is common to experience changes in the dynamics of your family when a baby is added to the picture. With all the excitement of bringing home a new baby, adjusting to the baby’s schedule, which is now your new schedule, lack of sleep and hormones, etc. – it can be overwhelming and your relationship and intimacy with your partner will suffer, or at least take the back seat for a while.

The good news is that this can be temporary. It is all up to the two of you. So who comes first for you? Your baby or your partner?

The answer is very personal. Different people have different priorities and needs. Your baby is helpless in its first year of life, and therefore will actually NEED more of your attention, care and love. Your husband/partner, while he can (potentially) take care of himself, still needs your love and affection even after your baby is born as well. Try and find the balance that works for you and your family. Feelings of neglect are not something you want in your newly expended household.