Going for an epidural does NOT make you a bad mother or any less of a mother, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Deciding to give birth naturally without painkiller or getting an epidural is a decision only you can make for yourself.  

While couples do discuss this possibility and make different decisions about childbirth together, this decision is yours to make. You are the one who is going through the pain of labor and childbirth, and no one else can go through it for you. Not your husband and certainly not your family or friends. Do not let anyone bully you into making a choice that is not right for you, as long as there is no risk to you or baby.

It is smart to plan ahead and think about pain management before you go into the delivery room. Do your homework and research or speak to your doctor about your possibilities, different ways to manage pain during childbirth, which is most suitable for you and why. If you need it, take your time in making this decision, but try to make it before it is time…

And when time comes, have a birth plan ready, but also be open minded about changes that may occur as things progress or if there is a new for an intervention.

As if it is not enough to be anxious about actual childbirth, some of us are also uncomfortable with the thought of being exposed to the world (the obstetrician and staff, and whomever else you invited into the delivery room).

Some women worry about when and where you go into labor, or having your water break in the middle of the supermarket. Most of us (especially if it’s your first pregnancy) worry about the pains of labor and childbirth, the possibility you’ll tear or have to have an episiotomy done, etc.

But do you give any thought to the actual birth and embarrassing accidents that go with it? Well, some women do. So what can you expect (not that you really can control everything, but the number of non professionals you want in the room…) in the delivery room:

Having a bowel movement during labor is very common and normal. More so, the nurse will likely describe the way you should push as when you go to the bathroom. Don’t be embarrassed. The professional staff is not only used to it, they also know it is normal and common.

Some women have an accident while getting their epidural. It is common to pee during the epidural process and the anesthesiologist has likely seen it many times before. It is not uncommon and not a big deal.

When you are pushing your baby you may have gas. Do not worry about it. The doctors and nurses are used to it and there is no reason to be embarrassed.

Another unpleasant thing that can happen during labor and delivery is vomiting. Gain, it is normal, common, and you should not be alarmed or surprised if it turned into projectile vomiting.

If you are concerned about any of these things, all you really can do if limit the number of your (personal) guests in the delivery room. Other than that, just realizing it is natural and the professional staff is used to it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

If you are planning to give birth in a hospital, you will want to know which hospital you are going to prior to the start of labor. Some health groups only have one birthing hospital in each area, while others have a variety for you to choose from. Depending on your health group and your insurance, you will have different options. Ask your OBGYN and / or your insurance agent for the appropriate information.

Before you get to the hospital, speak to your healthcare agent about coverage for your childbirth stay. You want to know the facts before you go in, so can be prepared rather than surprised and possibly disappointed.

Once you know which hospitals are available to you, go take the tour. Each birthing hospital has scheduled tours for expecting parents. Ask friends about their hospital experience and if they would recommend one hospital or another.

When you are 37 weeks pregnant, you want to have a hospital bag ready, so when labor starts you can just pick it up and go. Make sure you always have more the ¼ tank of gas in your car, and know more than one route to get to your hospital.

Since this is the one occasion you WANT to remember your hospital stay, check if camera and video are allowed and make sure to assign it to someone else (you will be busy giving birth to your child).

The length of your stay depends on the type of birth (vaginal or cesarean), your health and the health of your newborn baby. You will typically stay two nights after a vaginal delivery, and three to four nights after a cesarean delivery. Ask the doctors and nurses about your discharge if you are concerned.

While you are at the hospital, take the time to rest from childbirth and bond with your baby.  If you need the rest, don’t invite family and friends to the hospital, you will be home soon enough to see them, but will not have the luxury to lie in bed all day.

Also remember to take advantage of the hospital’s resources. Ask to see a lactation consultant if you are breastfeeding, to get all your questions answered and get hands on help with breastfeeding. If you are at all confused about baby care, you can ask the nurses for help and guidance. Make sure you are not neglecting yourself. Tell the staff if you are experiencing any type of pain or discomfort, they may be able to relieve it.

When you reach the third trimester you start thinking about the upcoming labor and birth. Many women, especially ones in their first pregnancy, are concerned about how they will know labor has begun, and when they should rush to the hospital. Well, there is no one answer or one indication you are in labor, but different signs. According to the signs, you’ll know what to do and when it is time to go yourself to the hospital.

One of the clues you are in labor, is when your water breaks. If you fear you water will break in public, you may be relieved to know that usually labor does not start with your water breaking. When it does, it is more likely to happen while you are in bed. In fact, most women report they initially thought they had a urine leak. After your water breaks if you do not go into labor within 12 hours, you will likely be induced, for the health and safety of your baby.

You may not be sure you are having contractions when they begin, but ones you are experiencing constant, regular contractions that grow longer and more frequent, it is safe to assume labor has begun. If contractions do NOT grow stronger and more frequent, you are likely having Braxton hicks contractions, which are more like a practice run, but aren’t the real thing.

A sign labor can start anytime within the next few weeks is when you pass your mucus plug. This clear looking discharge is what closes the cervix during pregnancy, keep it infection away from baby. When your cervix starts to soften and dilate the mucus is released from its hold.

As unpleasant as it may sound, diarrhea is a sign labor is around the corner. It is caused by the release of prostaglandins, which are a group of hormones that cause the uterus to contract as well as cause your stool to soften.

If you think you may be in labor, call your healthcare provider or the hospital where are scheduled to deliver. Better get there and have to return home still pregnant than be too late to the hospital…

After forty long weeks of pregnancy and anticipation, you are most likely more than ready to meet your little one already. You may also be uncomfortable and anxious before childbirth, or in pain, or just over being pregnant. Even if labor is not showing any signs of starting soon, you may be more than ready to get things started, in any way possible.

If there is no medical condition requiring getting the baby out ahead of time, it is up to you to decide if you want to wait for labor to start on its own or help jump start it.

Some healthcare providers will suggest inducing if you reached 41 weeks and labor has not started on its own. If you prefer to wait the course of the pregnancy, speak to your doctor about it. Make sure whatever decision you make, it is an informed one. You don’t want to induce just because your doctor wants to, but you also don’t want to wait and end up having to have a cesarean section because baby is too large of a vaginal delivery.

When there is no medical emergency because of which there is a need to induce, it is a personal decision which way to go.

A cesarean section is a surgery done to deliver a baby. There are different reasons why a cesarean section may be needed, or chosen. Speak to your OBGYN to determine whether you may need a cesarean section or if you have any concerns.

Here are some of the reasons why you may need a cesarean section:

Multiple births may end up in a cesarean, depending on weight and position. Twins may be born vaginally, but triplets or more will likely be born via cesarean section.

Gestational diabetes may lead to a large baby, in which case you may have to resort to a cesarean section.

Breech position is when the baby is positioned with its bottom down rather than its head down. While a vaginal delivery is possible in some cases, there is a decreasing number of obstetricians who are experienced in these types of births. A cesarean is performed when baby is in distress or has a cord prolapse.

Cord prolapsed is when the umbilical cord slips through the cervix and comes out before the baby is born. This condition is dangerous to baby because as the uterus contracts it causes pressure on the umbilical cord which diminishes the blood flow to the baby.

The most common fetal distress is when the baby is not getting oxygen. This type of fetal distress is detected by fetal monitoring and will lead to an emergency cesarean.

If you have active genital herpes (an outbreak of genital herpes), you will deliver by cesarean section in order to prevent the baby from being exposed to herpes when passing through the birth canal.

It is normal to develop different fears during pregnancy, especially if it is your first pregnancy. After all, it is the first time you are growing a tiny human in your uterus, and everything is new. Though it is normal, and somewhat expected, there are fears you can avoid with a little research, which will actually help your pregnancy go smoother. Remember, fear can lead to stress, and stress is never good for you.

Many women are afraid of having a miscarriage. Though it does happen, you should know that most pregnancies end with healthy babies, and most miscarriages occur in the first weeks of pregnancy, sometimes before you even notice your missed period (in which case you don’t even know you miscarried).  You can lower your risk of miscarrying by avoiding smoking and alcohol, as well as cutting back on caffeine. Also avoid amusement park rides and ride a bicycle.

Fearing your baby will have birth defects is normal. It may help to know that the risk of your baby having birth defects is only 4%. Even if test results are abnormal, in many cases a follow up test result will return normal. If you have any general or specific concerns, speak to your healthcare provider. It is always helpful to be informed, and may reduce the stress and minimize your concerns.

Fearing childbirth is the most common fear, especially if it is your first pregnancy or if you have a difficult childbirth experience before. Taking childbirth preparation classes and learning about your options can help reduce the fear of the unknown.

An emergency cesarean section is something that many expecting moms fear. It may help to know that most cesarean sections are known in advance, even scheduled. If you will need a cesarean section due to breech baby, gestational diabetes or other complication, you will most likely know about it enough time in advance in order to get all the information you need.

Pregnancy is a miracle, though it can hold its share of fears. Knowledge is power, and will help you overcome some of the fears you may be facing. Speak to your spouse, your OBGYN and anyone else you feel can help relieve these fears. There is no shame in fearing the unknown or for your child’s well being, it only means you are realizing you are about to be a parent.

Congratulation!

In most cases, a breech baby automatically means a cesarean section. That is largely because of the lack of experience of obstetricians in a vaginal delivery of a breech baby.

Most women in this position have little if any choice when it comes to childbirth options. The majority of women with breech babies are offered an elective cesarean section, and most of which choose to go with a scheduled one, rather than waiting for the pregnancy to mature. A very small number of women actually wait for the contractions to start or their water to break. Either way, the majority of women with a breech baby end up having a cesarean section.

A successful vaginal delivery of a breech baby is completely possible with an obstetrician experienced in these types of births. In Frankfurt, Germany, there is a lot of experience in successful breech baby vaginal deliveries in recent years. Their experience shows success in such births especially with the women laboring on all fours. There are vaginal deliveries of breech babies with little medical interference, no constant monitoring, no epidural and no need for stitches.

While there may be circumstances beyond your control that lead you to deliver by a cesarean section, there are steps you can take to minimize the chances of that happening over a vaginal delivery.

Your first step on the way to a vaginal delivery is selecting a care giver who is inclined towards vaginal deliveries. If you plan on staying with your OBGYN, check what his/her approach to childbirth is. If you are leaning towards a midwife, you are likely to have a vaginal delivery if no complications arise.

Unless your insurance restricts you to a specific hospital, check the rates of cesareans in hospitals in your area. If the hospitals do not publish this information, try to search the web for it, you may find it faster than you imagine.

If your pregnancy goes over 40 weeks, your healthcare provider may lean towards an induction. Try to avoid it for as long as you can, for if the cervix is not ready, jump starting labor may prove unproductive and lead to a cesarean section. An early epidural may also increase the chances of having a cesarean.

Labor at home for as long as you can. This way you will minimize the chances of being hooked up to fetal monitoring and having to go through other interventions that will keep you in your hospital bed and increase your discomfort as well as lead to a cesarean.

Take prenatal classes and learn what to expect, how to prepare your body for labor and how to handle labor pain. Write up a birth plan and don’t let the doctors force you into an un needed operation. At the same time, don’t fight them if an operation is needed to save your unborn baby.

While it may sound like the easier way to give birth, you should give it some thought before you choose an operation over vaginal delivery. You may be thinking a cesarean section is the solution to avoiding long hours of pushing, having your vagina change (it will regardless), dealing with an episiotomy, even have your water break when you are not ready, etc.

Well, yes, it is one route you can take to avoid certain fears you may have, but is having an operation the best solution for you? Before you make that decision, consider whether or not you want / prefer having staples in your belly and catheter in your bladder; is it really worth having to experience a longer hospital stay as well as a longer recovery. Also, do you want to take the risk of returning to the hospital because of an infection.

Know that once you have one cesarean section, you will most likely have repeat cesareans in future pregnancies. Though today more and more women have successful VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), most obstetricians will prefer you have a cesarean if you have had one before.

When a cesarean section is needed for medical reasons, or due to an emergency, you may not have a way to avoid it, but will be grateful for this life saving operation. Though in the absence of such circumstances, weigh your options and consider which is safer for both you and your baby, as well as which will allow you to recover faster and/or better.