Developing a relationship with your baby can happen as soon as the moment you find out about your pregnancy. It is possible you may feel a connection, responsibility and love right away to your un-born baby. On the other hand, it could be that it’ll take longer to bond with your baby, even after you hold her in your arms.

Bonding with your baby is individual. Do not panic if you don’t develop an immediate attachment with your baby. It can take a little time to bond. After all, you have undergone a tremendous change in your life, and some of us need a little while longer to adjust to the new situation, to being a parent.

Even after carrying your baby for nine months, it is normal to feel nervous when holding your baby for the first time. You may now be realizing the responsibility that lies in your hands for the first time. You and hubby may have been calling each other Mom and Dad half jokingly, and suddenly the new title is real with the arrival of your little one. As joyful as it is, it could also be a shock and you should give yourself time to snap out of it.

As long as you are taking care of your baby’s basic needs, it is OK if you are not feeling that strong connection right away. Do not beat yourself up, but instead take the time to get to know your baby and develop a relationship. Remember the hormones that accompanied your pregnancy? The mood swings and cravings? Your body is still unbalanced and it will be a little while longer before you are “back to normal”. Bear this in mind before you judge yourself for not bonding immediately with your newborn.

If a few weeks passed and you still don’t feel a connection with your baby, call your doctor and talk about your feelings and concerns, it is possible you are suffering from postpartum depression. If that is the case, the sooner you take care of yourself and get the appropriate professional help, the less it will affect your baby and the relationship you two develop.

Bonding with a baby is very different than developing a relationship with other adults. Daily care-giving, spending time and learning your babies needs will grow with time and help you bond with your child.  This bond will increase as you experience the joy of seeing her first smile, the excitement of watching her learn how to turn and delight of following her new achievements. Soon you will find yourself bragging to friends or family about your baby’s new achievements, at which time you may realize what the connection you share with your baby and how special to you it is. Now that is the joy in being a Mother or Father.