The process of labor and birth is divided into three stages.

Stage one includes early labor and active labor. It is the longest stage of the three and it is when the cervix opens (dilates) and thins out (effaces) to allow the baby to descend into the birth canal and start the journey out into the world.

Early labor is the stage when contractions start and your cervix begin to dilate. Contractions may last 30 to 60 seconds and come every 5-20 minutes. As your cervix begins to open you may notice your mucus plug has passed (also known as bloody snow.) This stage is unpredictable and may last for hours or even days. The level of discomfort varies between one woman to another and even between one pregnancy and another, for the same woman.

Active labor starts when your cervix dilates to 10 centimeters. At this point contractions will become stronger and progressively longer. If you haven’t already, get yourself to the hospital now. This stage may last up to several hours. On average it lasts up to eight hours. This is the time to use the breathing techniques you have learned in your birth preparation classes and to get encouragement from your partner and the healthcare team.

Stage two includes the birth! This is the time to start pushing with each contraction. This stage could take, from a few minutes to several hours, or more. It usually takes longer for first time moms. The best birthing position is the one that works best for you; if you are uncomfortable lying down, try squatting or sitting. When pushing, be sure not to hold tension in your face. Bear down and concentrate on pushing when it counts. You will feel a great sense of relief after your baby is born, so Push! Push! Push!

Stage three includes the delivery of the placenta, after your baby is born. At this point you may already be holding your newborn and thinking it is all over, while in actuality your obstetrician is still delivery the placenta and ensuring your bleeding is normal and under control. This stage usually takes about 5-10 minutes, but can take up to 30 minutes, in some cases.

Your health care provider will massage your lower abdomen to help your uterus contract and expel the placenta. You may be asked to push one more time to deliver the placenta, which usually comes out with a small gush of blood. You will be asked if you want to see the placenta. If you tore or had an episiotomy and need to be stitched, your doctor will do so now.

Congratulations!

If you are 37 weeks pregnant and do not have a hospital bag ready for the big day, it is time to get one ready, just in case you go into labor and need to go to the hospital in a rush. Even if you do not need to hurry, when the time comes, you may not be thinking as clearly with all the excitement. Why not put a bag together and be ready.

What will you need:

• Comfortable PJ’s, preferably ones with boob access if you are planning to nurse. Do not pack your favorite PJ’s, unless you are OK with blood stains.
• Your hospital may provide disposable underwear, but in case they do not, pack some from home. Not your sexy ones, but granny ones you do not care too much about, as you may have to throw them away.
• Most hospitals also provide sanitary pads, but just in case, bring some for postpartum bleeding.
• Socks! If it is winter bring slippers as well! You will be walking around on your hospital room floor before you are released.
• If you are the robe type, bring one!
• Clothes to wear when you are released from the hospital. You will most likely NOT fit into your pre pregnancy jeans. Maternity clothes will do just fine at this point.
• An outfit or two to take your baby home in. Consider bringing two different sizes – new born and 0-3 – you never know exactly how much your baby will weigh.
• Receiving blankets, burp clothes.
• Toiletries: body soap, shampoo, conditioner, tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant, etc.
• Toiletries and a change of clothes for hubby (he may be spending the night in the hospital with you.)
• Snacks for hubby – chips, energy bar, etc. While you will not be allowed to eat during labor, hubby does not need to suffer with you.
• Your body pillow if you use one or any pillow from home. If you are at the hospital for a while, why not be comfortable.
• Cell phone and charger.
• Books and magazines. You cannot anticipate how long you will be in labor. Have something to help you pass the time.
• Camera!
• Cash for the vending machines.
• Car seat for the baby, already installed.
• Hospital registration forms, completed. You do not want to deal with paperwork when you get there.
• Birth plan, if you have one.
• Insurance cards.
• Your ID or driver license, for admission.

Happy delivery experience!

Pregnancy brings about many changes to your body, affects your mood and much more. It is only normal that your sex drive and sex life will be effected by your pregnancy. If you are concerned about your baby, rest assured that he feels nothing and as long as the pregnancy is healthy, there is no reason to refrain from sex, unless you or your partner feel uncomfortable with it. If you are uncomfortable with it, take the time to talk to each other about your concerns and see what can be resolved and what cannot.

As your body changes with the pregnancy, sex will be different as well. Your blood volume increases by 50%, which affects the size of your breasts, as well as heightens sensitivity throughout all your erogenous zones, which can mean more intense and/or multiple orgasms.

Do not be surprised if your sex drive fluctuates throughout your pregnancy. You may be so tired and nauseated during the first trimester, you will have no interest in sex. As the second trimester approaches, your libido may be awakened with the high level of hormones in your body and a ‘second wind’ you come to you, after the fatigue and morning sickness have dissolved. During the third trimester you may find that you are so uncomfortable you cannot even think of sex. While at the same time, you may be more aroused, depending on the changes to your body.

Pregnancy dreams can be very intense and may include some erotic ones. These erotic dreams can be so vivid that you may wake up and find the need to wake your hubby up, as well, for some late night pleasure.

It is normal for your sex drive to vary during pregnancy, as it is for your partner’s. He may not be experiencing physical changes, but the fact that life as he knows it is about to change, may be effecting his sex drive. He may also be affected by the changes you are going through, both physically and emotionally. Talk to him if you feel your intimacy has changed dramatically or if you find it has become bothersome for either one of you.

Sex during pregnancy can be whatever you make it. You can celebrate this miraculous time or wait it out. In any event, make sure that your relationship and connection is not effected in an unhealthy way during this time.

There are different ways in which a woman can give birth. Some are chosen while others are as a result of an emergency. A silent birth is a birth that takes place in complete silence. There are no words spoken, no doctors or nurses chatting or even giving directions to push etc. This type of labor and delivery allows the birthing mother to bring her child into a calm and loving environment.

The assisting staff has to learn to say nothing during the labor and delivery. There can be no loud comments, laughing remarks or even words of encouragement. Absolute silence must be maintained. No words can be spoken, but that does not mean the mother is silent.

The idea behind a silent birth, as explained by L. Ron Hubbard, is that “the hidden source of nightmares, unreasonable fears, upsets, insecurity and psychosomatic illness—the reactive mind. This part of the mind records all perceptions during times of pain and unconsciousness—which childbirth is for both mother and child. And words, in particular, spoken during these moments, can have an adverse effect on one later in life.”

A silent birth is not medically different, but is instead a spiritual approach, based on L. Ron Hubbard’s research into the mind and spirit.

It only makes sense that you will have an easier time connecting with your pregnancy, than your life partner. After all, you are the one carrying the baby, the one who feels and goes through all the changes, while your partner is ‘just there for the ride’, at least until much later in the pregnancy, when the baby’s kicks get stronger and others are able to see and feel them. Even then, it can be hard for your partner to fully comprehend the changes to come.

If he is having a hard time connecting with your belly, and the changes that have come with your pregnancy, try to interest him in coming to your doctor visits with you. Seeing your baby’s development in an ultrasound exam can be extremely exciting for both of you. Seeing the baby will also help make it more real and tangible.

While hubby is not the one carrying the extra physical weight of the baby, you can involve him in couple’s exercises for pregnancy. That way he can take part in more aspects of the pregnancy. Sharing your feelings and the changes you are going through is another way to include him in the experience. You know your partner best and will know what type of details will catch his attention.

Some dads-to-be may be interested in reading or talking to their unborn child, playing music to him or just stroking your belly. Whatever your partner is comfortable with, roll with it. Later in your pregnancy ask your partner to join you for prenatal classes. Talk about whether or not he wants to be in the delivery room.

Getting your partner to connect with your growing belly is important for both, your pregnancy, and your relationship with your partner. Since he is the one who has to deal with you and your pregnancy hormones, it is better to have him on board and participating. It will also keep you closer while on this challenging journey into parenthood.

Many women, near the end of their pregnancy, start wandering how they will know if labor has started and what contractions will feel like. Do they really hurt and how will they handle the pain of contractions and childbirth.

Labor contractions are the periodic tightening and relaxing of the uterine muscle. They are often described as a cramping or a tightening sensation that starts in the back and moves around to the front in a wave-like manner. Some women report that contractions feel like pressure in the back. During a contraction, the abdomen becomes hard to the touch.

Many expecting mothers describe early labor contractions as similar to menstrual cramps or as severe gas pains, which may be confused with flu symptoms or intestinal disorders. Imagine your contractions as a wave. Each contraction will gradually increase in intensity until the contraction peaks, then slowly subside and disappear. As your body does the work, during labor, the time between contractions will decrease.

As the strength of each contraction increases, the peaks will happen sooner and last longer. There should be some regularity or pattern when you time your contractions. Persistent contractions that have no rhythm, but are five-to-seven minutes apart or less should be reported to your physician or midwife.

A typical labor for a first time mother is eight-to-fourteen hours, and is usually shorter for a second or subsequent birth. For many women, rocking in a chair or swaying back and forth, during a contraction, assists them with this relaxation.

You can check for contractions by feeling your uterus tightening and softening. Lie down and use your fingertips to feel the uterus. During a contraction your abdomen harden, then become soft again.

In this day and age, with medicine taking over the miracle of childbirth, a woman giving birth may feel secondary in the process. After all, the doctors know better, so do the nurses, they are all more experienced. And the expecting mother finds herself following directions rather than listening to her instincts.

The process of childbirth is a natural one and until the 1900’s it was done with midwives at home. It has only been in the last century that childbirth has found its way into the hospitals. Even now, many women around the world still choose a natural childbirth, even in the western world. After all, hospitals are for the sick and they are healthy.

Before you decide to dive into this amazing experience of natural birth, it is important to ask yourself why you want a natural birth and how far you are willing to go for it. It is not for everyone and you need to consider whether it is the right thing, for you. Childbirth may not go as you planned, at home or the hospital. While in the past everyone gave birth at home, you cannot ignore the fact that some women died giving birth. Sometimes the wonders of modern technology and advanced medicine should not be overlooked. There is no guarantee that one way is better than the other, therefore your own intuition is important – listen to it!

If you choose to pursue a natural birth, take the time to learn the process and make sure you understand it and that it is indeed right for you. Listen to yourself, your beliefs, and your inner wishes. Do not hesitate to ask questions and consult everyone you can. Knowledge is power and will help you to prepare for the experience.

First and foremost you should embrace the fact that this experience is the realization of something that is natural to your body. The birth does not have to take place at home, it can be anywhere you feel comfortable. The birthing process is natural, with no foreign intervention.

In a natural birth, you choose who will be present and where you will give birth, as opposed to a hospital birth, where the staff cannot be handpicked. A natural birth should revolve around the desires of the expecting mother, who can choose what environment her baby will be born into. What will be the first sights, smells and sounds her baby will be exposed to at birth.