After having your first, you may think ‘I’m a pro’, or at least feel like you know what to expect when contemplating having your second child.  However, have you ever wondered if you really ‘know’ what to expect with two children? Having one baby can be a handful, especially to the inexperienced mom, but once you have practiced parenting on your first (and made enough mistakes to call yourself a pro), shouldn’t it be easier with the second?

Well, it is true that you are now out of the dark. You have already experienced all the ‘firsts’ with one child, and with your second baby it will be that much easier it terms of what to expect, how to handle a newborn, how to breastfeed, teething, etc. But is that really all there is to it? Not really.

Being pregnancy with your second

Remember the fatigue you have experienced in the first trimester of your first pregnancy? And back then you didn’t have a baby / child to care for. Now things are a bit different… Which is a good indication of to what is to come after your second is born…

Longs naps like you may have had time for during your first pregnancy are now out of the question. Instead you need extra energy for your first child, who wants to play, needs to be cared for, may already be running around and making you run around after him or her..

This is good time to try and listen to your doctor (or others) telling you NOT to pick up heavy things. But who will carry your child? The fact that you may be pregnant will not change your child’s needs for love, affection, and being held by you.. You may laugh but – it’s true.

Later when you start showing you will have to consider WHEN and HOW to tell him about the new addition to the family…

Intro to having two kids…

Once your second arrives, you will be faced with new challenges. Jealousy is a very common feeling when it comes to siblings. Your first child is facing a new reality. He/she is no longer the center of attention in the family, and sharing your love with a new baby in the house could be challenging for him.

Depending on your firstborn’s age, you’ll be dealing with things other than siblings’ rivalry or jealousy. You may find that you are exhausted from having to care for two, sometimes three if you count Daddy as one of the gang.. You’ll have to strategize curtain things, like maybe how to handle two strollers when leaving the house, or what type of activity will best suit everyone in the family, now that there are so many different age groups in the family, and therefore a variety of interests that may not complement each other at all times (if at all).

But the best part of having another baby is the new experiences and the love and joy that will fill our home and heart. Through all the difficulties, having a baby is a wonderful and amazing experience for both yourself and the rest of the family. Help your firstborn to see how wonderful it can be to be an older brother or sister to your new baby.

Well, contrary to what you may think, conceiving could take longer or shorter then expected. This depends on different variables, including your health, fertility, weather or not you are/were taking birth control pills, etc.

If you are on the pill and are planning to get pregnant, this is the time to stop taking them. It may be a few months before you conceive, for your body needs some time to cleanse itself from the hormones before it is ready for a pregnancy. So take that into consideration, but remember there is no guarantee either way.

It will be a year of actively trying unsuccessfully to conceive before a doctor will see you for an infertility consultation. One thing you will be asked (obviously) is how often you… have sex, and when in relations to your menstrual period (timing is everything!). You are not ovulating every day. Learn about your cycle to have a better understanding of when is the best time to conceive.

It goes without saying that you need to have sex in order to conceive. Once or twice a month can work for the extremely fertile (or lucky), but will not do the trick for most woman. Yes, it does take one successful and well timed try, but since we often don’t know when the exact time of ovulation is, it may take many tries (men usually don’t mind having to try more oftenJ).

Most fertility specialists will recommend to actively start trying 10 days after the first day or your period. Some say everyday, others recommend every other day (to allow for a higher sperm count). Whichever recommendation you receive, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Remember that stress alone can affect your body and mind.

Most couples will get pregnant within 12-18 months of actively trying. Be true to yourselves about how long you really have been trying and do not panic if it has been a while. Speak to your OB/GYN and ask for a referral to a fertility specialist. Sometimes you just need a little help to get there.

It really isn’t that bad, to be truthful. Maternity clothes have come a long way since we were where in the womb, and there are so many choices, styles, and directions you can take your maternity wardrobe these days.

First of, you should know that you will not need maternity clothes right away. After all, it will take time for your belly to grow, and for the rest of your body to change in preparation for both the pregnancy and the birth. In other words, there is no need to go shopping for maternity clothes the moment you find out about the pregnancy. Give yourself and your partner time to digest the news before you redo your closet.

You will know when you need to widen your wardrobe (usually closer to the end of the first trimester if not later). When you (and your changing body) are ready to shop for maternity clothes, you want to take a minute before running to the store and look at yourself in the mirror.

Consider the fact that your body will go through a series of changes – it will both expand and contract again and so you will want a wardrobe that can keep with all these changes.  Therefore, keep in mind that you will be wearing your maternity clothes while you are pregnant AND for a while after you give birth.

Considering all these changes you want to look for maternity clothes of a good quality, which will retain their elasticity and still look good as you return to your pre-pregnancy shape. If you are planning to breastfeed, it will also be smart to plan ahead and buy maternity tops and dresses that are also designed for discreet nursing.

In all likelihood, you will be in your maternity clothes for about nine months to a year, and you may need two different sizes (one for earlier in the pregnancy and later after the birth, the other for your last trimester and right after the birth). So plan accordingly when you start expanding your wardrobe.

When we were about eight months pregnant, we met friends (a couple with two children) for dinner. We were going to talk about babies, and what we need to have ready before our daughter is born, what to purchase, what to expect, etc. Instead, we dove into a conversation about politics and almost completely neglected the baby topic, which was no big deal since we were having so much fun.

Somehow during desert, we got back on topic long enough to hear one statement that has stayed with me since: “Daddy is always three months behind”. That is, Daddy is three month behind Mommy in understanding and accepting the major changes that are happening in a couple’s life when they are expecting a baby.

Not to say that this statement is absolute, but it made sense to some degree for us, and in different ways to other (but of course not all) couples.

It is natural for the Mom-to-be to realize the changes to come during her pregnancy, for she is carrying the baby for the duration of the pregnancy and by that possibly even developing a connection with her unborn baby. For Dad-to-be, it could be harder to connect or even to comprehend that a big change is to come. While this difference between man and woman is natural, it does not have to be this way.

It all starts from the womb

You can help your partner in crime, the “Soon to be a Daddy”  have a better grasp on the new life growing inside you, and the changes to come by asking him to join you at the Doctor’s office on your monthly prenatal visits. When the baby is big enough for you to feel kicks, you can have Daddy put his hand on your belly so he can feel the baby kicking as well.

You can look for baby names together, decide on a theme for the baby’s room and prepare a list of things you will need once the baby is born. You can also talk about your birth plan and put together a bag for the hospital in preparation for the big day.

And then you become a parent

The first three months of most babies’ lives revolve around sleeping and eating. Both rocking your newborn to sleep and feeding him are wonderful opportunities for Daddy to bond with the baby. If you are nursing, you can pump and let your partner feed.

As your baby grows, there will be many activities and opportunities for each of you to bond with him, each in your own way. With time, family activities and play, the three months delay will disappear.

Most of us took the sex education class in high school, right? What did they teach us there? What did we learn in biology about human anatomy and the reproduction system? Did we even listen, or were we too embarrassed to pay attention?

I think the later is most likely the closest answer to the truth, or it could be that we just forgot. Here’s a shocking (?) reminder – there is a whole lot more to getting pregnant other than having sex.  We should care to know the details for two reasons: One, so we know how NOT to get pregnant and two, so when we are ready we know what/when we need to do in order to increase our chances for conception.

If you are trying to conceive, you want to know when you are ovulating, so your efforts are more targeted. Something else to keep in mind is that sperm can live in the female reproductive system for up to three days. This will affect when you want to have intercourse.

Your physical health is a factor when it comes to your fertility. Pregnancy history, miscarriages and planned abortions can all affect your chances to conceive. The “ticking clock” is not a myth – your body will tell you when it is ready. Your fertility is at its peak in your mid 20’s. Not to say that the window is closed before or after, but it may become more challenging after age 35.  Something else to keep in mind is that weight issues can cause infertility. Malnourishment as well as overweight, can both affect your chances of conceiving.

If you are sexually active, but are not planning a baby, there are a few facts you should NOT overlook. The first is an all time myth that curtain sex positions will keep you from getting pregnant – this is NOT true. Also, proven methods to prevent a pregnancy include birth control pills and the use of condoms. Counting on safe days is a dangerous way to go. Specific foods or diets do not have a large impact on fertility, contrary to some beliefs. All in all, if you are NOT trying to conceive, research the birth control options available today. Talk to your doctor to see which one is best for you and your needs.

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It is safe to assume that your body will change throughout your pregnancy. Though we periodically hear stories of women who went to the doctor for abdominal pain and came home with a baby, not knowing they were even pregnant! For most of us, we will certainly feel and see the changes our body goes through throughout the pregnancy.

The obvious change is your growing belly, due to the new life growing inside you. Other elements affecting your body may not be as obvious, and may or may not affect you.

You may notice, even before your belly begins to expand that your pelvic bone widens and your jeans may start to feel a bit snugger. This is due to the loosening of your hip bone, which occurs in order to prepare your body for the birth.

You may have also been told to avoid salt during your pregnancy. This is due to water retention and is typically associated with the third trimester. Most women experience some swelling during their pregnancy. It is common to experience mild edema in the feet, legs and hands, even the face. This is due to the increased blood volume in the body during the pregnancy. Some woman may experience more swelling than others. See your doctor if you feel the swelling is extensive or abnormal.

While all these changes, combined with elevated level of hormones, can result in frustration with your body, it is best to try and see the up side of things, and remember it is all temporary. Your body is changing because of the baby growing inside, and after the birth your body will change again. This is certainly not the time to start a diet, but a short while after you deliver, you can start working on your figure again, if you wish.

Do not be discouraged when you look in the mirror, but find ways to enjoy these changes while they last. Treat yourself to new items of clothing, shop for maternity clothes that will enhance your celebrated curves and don’t throw out all you have in your closet. You never know, you may fit into them sooner than you thought.

What does the fall / winter fashion has planned for us? This winter maternity fashion brings us styles for extreme body sizes – everything from newly pregnant and still skinny to celebrating the “real” feminine shape of the ‘nearly due’. Grays integrated with a touch of warm color in truly dramatic textures & patterns are what’s “in”. The chest that was magnified in the past decade is now covered under layers of thick sweaters accenting long lines of feminine legs. The combination between forms that emphasize a skinny waist & those that leave room for a preggo belly truly broaden the selection and allow even the most pregnant women a wide variety in putting together their pregnancy wardrobe.

The global winds

New designs have always been inspired to an extent from historical periods and different ethnic cultures, as well as from textile innovations, social movement, weather & politics. Yes, my dear readers, our garments are made of a little more than we would have thought. This season we can see the changes in the global weather very clearly on the runway as well. The new ethnic trend is assembled of a collection of cultures across the globe combined into a unique new line. Patterns and textures from wild cultures are introduced in tailored and conservative designs.

If so far one period was significantly present in one line, this season introduces the 20’s, 80’s & 50’s with a hint of futuristic sci-fi movies. The use of multiple layers that has been in style for some time now, supports the immediate and constant movements between extreme weather and air conditioned or heated spaces. These elements are evident in current fashion collections around the world. With time, a collection of layered items is being designed to fit to any weather with the use of accessories and layers that make the difference per outfit. The infinite mix & match with the layering of clothes allow the pregnant women to wear maternity clothes with items from her pre-pregnancy wardrobe.

Gray is the new global color

The famous “little black dress” is making room for the new “little gray dress” in different tones. Other new colors this season are purple, which is replacing the summery yellow; the bright red is stepping down for red gray; blue & brown are also touched with gray with season. These new colors and tones are combined with items in gray, of course. For example: gray dress with colorful tights. If you are pregnant & are planning for more than one pregnancy, you should design a classic wardrobe in fashionable gray, mix it up with this season’s purple scarf or top, and in a year or two for your next pregnancy you could use the same basic wardrobe and update the item(s) of color with the colors of the time.

A celebration of textures & fabrics

Do not worry, the world of fashion is not becoming boring, all this grayness that is introduced this season is accompanied by many patterns, thick knits, and – feathers! No, it’s not a typo.. many feathers, layers & folding of the fabric that look much like origami.

This new style celebrates long skinny legs. Hence the higher belt location at the waist, that make the legs look longer & ignores the chests area. If you are pregnant this is your time to celebrate! A massive & comfortable sweater dress & tights will emphasis your skinny legs in comparison to your growing belly. If you finally have a chest to show off, you can always emphasis it with a belt at the bust line.

And to wrap up, the jeans! You can see that even the jeans go gray and the blue gets deeper.

So how does it all fit on us?

Shape – careful, over layers will compliment the colloquial among us. A fashionable look can also be achieved with softer layers with clean-line tailored top & a flowing bottom. For those of us with feminine legs, this is the time to enjoy tights, a skirt or dress– anything that ends above the knee. For narrow legged, skinny tights are the way to go.