You are a mom. Welcome to the world of joy, challenges, and unexpected criticism. Who would have thought that having kids would result in anyone and everyone sharing their views, experiences and freely passing judgment on your parenting skills and/or approaches? Well, after hearing conflicting advice (sometimes from the same person), endless tactless comments about your size and weight gain during pregnancy, you’d think you’d be immune to people’s comments once the baby arrives..  However, in theory – yes maybe we should be, but reality is a completely different story.

The single friend

Your single, childless friends, may surprise you (with their attitude) as you give birth and start the challenging process of raising & educating your off spring (remember, they do NOT come with a manual). If/when they start passing judgment of your ways, best thing to do is to breath and let go. They have no experience and therefore no idea what you are going through and that what they just said is irrelevant/annoying/not true/just plain stupid/etc. Remember, they really can NOT relate, and have no idea what you are faced with.

The single stranger

You’ll see her in the supermarket staring in disapproval of your crying child, or hear her comment (maybe to your face, more likely under her breath) about your kid’s behavior in a store, or the park. She clearly has no personal experience, but acts like she’s had 5 kids and raised them flawlessly. Let’s see her reaction when a toddler in her care starts screaming in the supermarket for no apparent reason.

The older (stranger) lady

She was a mother to a newborn or toddler so long ago – that she still relates everything back to 1945 and seems to have forgotten things have changed dramatically since then.  She is the one who freely tells you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing differently. Don’t be intimidated by her expression of experience, you know your child best and therefore you know what is right for him/her.

Your parents/grandparents/in-laws

Well, they now have a new title they should get used to, enjoy, and most importantly, embrace. The parenting is YOUR job, & while you can ask for their advice, you are the parent. They WILL tell you what and how to do things. They will, each in their own way, find fault in your actions, and tell you how you should bath, change, and feed your newborn. As a new Mom, you may need the help, but at the same time you need to bond and find YOUR way. Don’t be afraid to establish boundaries with family members who are clearly over stepping, or becoming insulting with their assumptions about your own parenting skills.  After all they raised you – did you turn out so bad that you need the extra advice?

Here are some tips.  Listen politely; take into account what they are saying before you react. Not everything will be bad advice, but if it starts to feel threatening and if it’s your family you will likely know how to best respond to them.  However, before you do take a moment before you respond and think through what you want to say and how.  If it’s not your family ask your hubby or partner to explain the boundaries – especially if you are just fresh out of the delivery room and haven’t even gotten a chance to start parenting yet.